Blog reader Sasha Bone requested I do a post on the outrageous excuses/reasons (prospective) in-laws have given their sons (daughters) for their reluctance/refusal of them marrying (you).
In her own case they said she was too tall, although he's slightly taller than she is.
I've heard reasons ranging from wrong tribe, wrong family, wrong class, wrong profession, to Pastor said... I've heard Pastors say if you marry him/her the marriage will not last, you will die early, your fortune will be destroyed, the marriage will be fruitless, somebody will have an accident etc.
So while Sasha and I would like to hear some things your boo's parents have said to deter them from marrying you, or the reasons they've given for saying NO to you becoming a member of their family..
I will also like you hear what you did/will do if your parents have refused to give you and your love their blessings. What happens when you're torn between your parents and your heart's desire? My friend *Ifeoma has been engaged to her boo *Segun for over two years now. Her parents have refused to allow her marry him because he's Yoruba. Ifeoma couldn't go against her parents' will but that hasn't stopped her from getting pregnant for Segun and cohabiting with him. So now they have a baby and live together though still not married.
Presently I have a friend in this dilemma. In her case her fiancé is still struggling and her parents have refused to give them the go ahead. Her father thinks her man won't be able to provide for her and take care of their home. So as at yet her boo is struggling and hustling to better his finances but her parents are putting pressure on her to leave him.
A former classmate of mine was in a similar position, in their own case it was religious doctrines; Orthodox vs Unorthodox church. She solved the problem by getting pregnant and in order to avoid shame their parents allowed them get married.
Sometimes it's more serious than that. Sometimes it's because the intended spouse is an Osu (outcast) or their family is known to be cursed with madness, early death, poverty (or some things beyond their own control).
What happens when you find yourself in this situation?
Do you choose your parents counsel or ignore them and go ahead with your marriage?
Is there any marriage without parents' blessings? (My friend *Wale went ahead and married his wife even after his parents severely warned him against doing that because they are Muslim and she is Christian. Neither of his parents was present at the wedding and some people wonder if that's why six years after the wedding they are still yet to have a child....)
Have you ever been in this situation, what did you do, how did you proceed???
And remember that Sasha wants to hear if you've been in a similar position as she is; have your boo's parents given him some outrageous reasons not to marry you? Where do you go from there; do you try to dissuade him from listening to his parents' unfounded reasons or do you count your losses and move on?