Skip to main content

Sexual Harassment At The Office. (We Should Talk About This)





Good morning Guys! I hope your weekend was beautiful. 

This morning I received a mail from one of our readers. She told me she quit her job a couple of weeks back because her boss was persistently sexually harassing her. My first thought was I hope she had another job waiting when she left that one because we all know how difficult it is to come by jobs these days. But then I once left a job for that same reason. It got really tiring; someone trying to fondle my boobs as 'good morning', grabbing me and trying to kiss me on the lips at any given opportunity, grabbing or smacking my bum when no one was looking, sending pornographic pictures and videos to my inbox and bbm, sending me very sexually explicit messages of what he'd want to do to me, asking me to accompany him for meetings but afterwards making a detour and stopping at a secluded place where I'd have to fight him off while still trying to respect him as the boss. At some point going to work became very dreadful. And there's not much you can do about it when it's a sole proprietorship so it became sink or swim. It's either you sit, grin and bear it or take a walk. I'd tried the former but eventually did the latter.

I remember reading an open letter by a former staff of one travel agency in Lagos last year. From the response it got it was obvious that it was a regular thing there. All the bosses were in on it, and the minute you as much as complained about it you were fired for misconduct or incompetence or something like that. It was just a story till my brother's girlfriend was fired from that same company for that same thing. One of the bosses was harassing her and when she made the mistake of reporting to another, the next thing she knew was she received a letter basically terminating her employment. 

Most of my working friends have been sexually harassed by a boss at least once in their careers so how come nobody is talking about this? How come these bullies are allowed to do as they please, take advantage of a bad situation (no jobs) and subject women to discomfort and harassment at the workplace? Why aren't there strict laws put in place just like in the US? Why aren't there enforced sanctions that deter a boss from as much as looking at you the wrong way. Why don't things like this matter? How come no one cares to talk about it? 

BTW when that girl sent the open letter last year it was astounding to see the negative reaction she received from the public in general. It was heartbreaking to say the least. 

One more thing. Men get sexually harassed by female bosses as well and that is equally disgusting and unacceptable. 

Have you been sexually harassed by a boss?
How did you handle it?
Is it wise to report a boss that's sexually harassing you?
If you've reported a boss that was sexually harassing you what happened afterwards?
Will you leave your dream/extremely well paying job because you're being sexually harassed by a superior at work?

Have you ever sexually harassed a subordinate at work?

Comments

  1. Hmmm. Never been a victim before.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I hired u as my attorney over sexual harrassment case,wld u take the case? Sexual harrassment at work is just like corruption,as long as there's no strong penalty for offenders,everyone goes scot free.
    Now,I have a different view point. What bout ladies who get fired cos their female bosses hv personal resentment for them that has nothing to do with ur productivity at work?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sasha why wouldn't I? The only thing I would need you to provide me with is enough evidence.
      Same goes for your other view point; wrongful termination. You can seek redress in court for that as well but most people are ignorant or would just rather move on.

      Delete
  3. Well T, my own Sexual harassment was so bad that my boss (He owns the company btw) wanted me for a 2nd wife. He said he's a crown prince in one of the south south communities... it was terrible... I became arrogant & insulting...

    It was in everyone's best interest I quit.
    Funny thing is I didn't even tell him i's leaving. I just got my salary & Stopped going to work. His wife (she's our Admin Manager oh), asked what's up with me, Told her I moved to another city.

    Presently Job hunting but NO more one man company biko...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm...I remember ur story from another post! U did say u signed a contract to stay for a few yrs or so. So this is the main reason u left...lol. So if u married him,the admin manager wld have fired the both of u o...lols.
      Anyhoo,all the best on ur job quest like I am too

      Delete
  4. Yes, I have been sexually harrassed at work before.my boss then was really mean, he would make sure he sends me to the cashcenter on the outskirts everyday, complain about every thing I do, other staff in the office had an idea what his problem was 'cuz they would jokingly tell me privately that oga wanted something.God in his bountiful mercies provided my current job two months later and that was how I was free.

    My current boss is harrassing the IT staff in the office, the girl claimed he would call her and ask her to kiss him, it sounded incredible until I saw evidence(his messages to her), he was reported to the regional director and told to back off if he values his job.

    What helped in this case was that the IT staff spoke out, a lot of victims of sexual harrassment do not speak out and you can't blame them because the society is not NICE to them,people would say and think all sorts of mean things,another staff that was aware of the sexual harrassment actually told me the lady being harrassed should have handled it herself, that she should not have reported it.

    Can you beat that? How do you manage the unmanageable?Why should you even manage it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. And yeah, I do wish Nigeria have strict laws on this office harassment issues!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Another reason why these bullies continue is that most people would rather just endure(manage the situation) or resign and move on.
    It was when the current issue of sexual harrassment came to light that people started speaking out that my boss was in that habit, that he was known for that in his former branch,that he probably was sexually harrassing the former IT girl(because the lady was always rude to him and would openly flaunt his directives yet he would not discipline her, he would push others to)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank God you didn't forget to add that men get harassed too and female bosses are the worst. They will not stop at anything and will frustrate your life if you don't play ball.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have too by an old man older than my dad. I told my dad about it cos he (my dad) is a director in the company as well. he asked me to slap the man next time he tries it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. hahahahahahaha,best response so far@subomi.....d slapping will restore him back to factory settings....LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  10. hahahahahahaha,best response so far@subomi.....d slapping will restore him back to factory settings....LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  11. There are more sexual more sexual harassment incidents between female bosses and male subordinates but it doesn't get as much publicity because for some, it's an ego thing. I was once a victim some years ago. And yes, she owned the company. I was heading an almost dead subsidiary but when things turned around and the cash started flowing in, i refused ALL entreaties(so bad, she had once locked the office door but a single woman cannot wold a man down and rape.What really saved me for a while was that i knew my job and where i wanted the company to be and it was obvious to everyone that removing me was not going to be in the company's interest.
    To cut a long story short, the heat got so much at a point that i had no choice but to leave. The lad who took over from me is married to her now!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Haaa, Sasha I just read ur comment... No oh.
    Since I left school Feb last year, I have worked in 3 different companies oh.
    Yeah the 1st was a contract job, I left the 2nd cos I got the 3rd (with higher pay) & the 3rd I ran away from due to my reasons above...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Shey sexual harassment dey apen 2 guys too from female bosses. Wana knw. #Tas#

    ReplyDelete
  14. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com6:05 pm, May 19, 2014

    No experiences. This is my second job since graduation and my boss is quiet protective of me. Once we visited a showroom together for supplies and he saw a lesbian girl sneak a note into my bag through the mirror. He requested for the note when we got to the office and avoided sending me to that showroom afterwards.

    ReplyDelete
  15. My dear Nigeria
    While others are legislating progress
    Re-defining success
    Reinventing technology
    Naija is busy accommodating corruption
    Lawyers cannot protect clients
    Society frowns down on victims
    O ma she oooo

    ReplyDelete
  16. Society frowns on victims. Exactly.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I've never experienced this.
    Worked in three law firms and every one really respected one another.
    Have had two different judges begin to be overly friendly, call me up and want to hang out and chat on BBM but I always remained stoic, friendly but still respectful.
    They were able to access me because they were friendly with my boss and would occassionally come by the office.
    I can't call that harrassment though- no one ever crossed the professional line I'd drawn (expressly or impliedly).

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

One More Post...

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa