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Thelma Asks; Would You Rather Be Feared Or Loved?




Last week something happened which lead to a conversation I had with a much older friend who's been in the workforce for longer than I have been. He said "Nwando to get by in this life, especially at work, you have to be a bitch. Stop trying to please people or trying to make people like you. It won't work to your advantage."

I explained that I wasn't going out of my way to please anyone or to make anyone like me, I would just much rather live/work in an environment where everyone is cordial, or civil at the very least. I don't go to work to make friends but that doesn't mean that I would pick hostility over friendliness. I mean, why can't we all just get along?

He begged to differ. That should be the least of your concerns Nwando; at least you get your respect and before anyone tries any shit with you they first say "Ha! That one has madness o! Don't mess with her". 

But I still maintained my stand and we were at loggerheads so I'm throwing it open to the house;

Would you rather be feared or loved? 

Comments

  1. I think you can balance both.I laugh a lot with people at the office and play around but everyone knows I'm one person they can't mess with.If you over reach I'll put you in your place and I'll do it in front of everyne so that the next person will beware. They are lots of people like this in my office,there is no class in being a bitch.you can get ppl to respect you without being a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There are lots of people*

    ReplyDelete
  3. In my own case I believe in being nice and be loved 'First' but when you wanna take advantage of that I give it 2 u, then others will know clearly that don't mess with her o.

    I don't wanna b d bad 1 1st so I belive in being good and friendly but nevertheless you strike a balance by giving it hard to any1 who doesn't deserve some kind gestures.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Be nice to everyone and create an amicable work environment. But if anyone comes at me with any form of insensitivity, that's when they'll realize that Madness has levels.

      Delete
  4. Experience has taught me that it pays more to be a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It pays to be a bitch. I will rather be feared...but there's one thing I need to cut off that makes people love me than they fear me. Soon enough, the love travels a long journey when they have *seen you finish.

    To be Feared is better. You get the work done that way.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Insecure people need to be feared or loved. Nigerians see the work place as an extension of their domestic life. Madam wants you kneel to greet her and scurry to carry her bag. Master wants you to hold the door open, carry his bags and serve his food. Someone told me how in his bank, two women were ordered to sit and face the wall for daring to leave work before Oga, the previous day. When you believe in your self, skills, capabilities and work within the laws of the work place and mankind, you will be respected. That is the most important thing. Bullies are abound in the office. I fear no one. I believe in my self. I will get another job. When you are respected, no one will mess with you. Including the office bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't know about being loved but I know that fear can become hatred and hatred can drive people to rebel against you. Be good to people, be polite and considerate but don't let yourself be taken for granted

    ReplyDelete
  8. Either way, just accept me for me. Would never please you. My work environment expect one to act act like dummies and stupid when you see or are in the presence of senior colleague or bosses. But being who I am, I'm quick to draw the lines yet be polite. Imagine boss expecting you to do house chores in the office for him. No way!!! I did let him know am not one to mess with even if you are my boss. I could be overtly nice and meaning nasty, so don't take my Hellos' and Hi's for granted.

    ReplyDelete

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