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What I Experienced From A Bad Relationship (TTRWT)- by Angela David.



What I experienced from a BAD relationship (and how
hard it is to recover)

Whenever I come across people who endure in painful relationship.i
shiver as I thought back to a time when I was in a
terrible relationship.
It was like I decided to be with the least suitable,

least attractive, least supportive, least well-adjusted, least honest,
least inspiring person I could find (seriously).
Now, I can’t fathom why I stayed with this guy.
We quarrel constantly. We had little in common.
We were always on the brink of disaster. It was
the worst experience in my life, and it took me a
long time to extricate myself from the
relationship.
I still carry a lot of bitterness,grudges and anger from that
time; and complex feelings that I haven’t properly
worked through. I see myself as a strong,
confident person but I let this guy take
advantage of me,see the part of me that weren't that pretty,he weigh
me down emotionally,


erode my self-esteem. I became a different
person: quiet, paranoid, introspective. I went
through a phase of  mylife where nothing matter,staving myself until I
look like akwara anu,
super-skinny. Then I went the other way and
comforted myself with some chocolate and ice cream. I lost touch with
Loved ones. I stopped pursuing activities I
loved, and it took me some time to come back to
them. I gave over all of my power. I lost myself.
It scares me that I let something like that
happen. Part of me chalks it up to being young
and inexperienced at the time, and meeting
someone who was a master at using strategies to manipulating
vulnerable people. But that seems too easy. I
knew I was miserable and going nowhere, but I
stayed for too long. I still wonder why. Now, I ask
myself: What can I take from that experience
and what can others who are in, or have
been in, bad relationships learn?
It’s a sad reality that we often learn the most
from the bad experiences, the pain, the burns,
the near disasters. This relationship taught me
what I wanted in my next one:
Someone who lets me be myself, without
judgment
Someone I can have adventures with
Someone who is kind and generous
Someone who is chivalrous
Someone who makes me feel proud
Someone with a strong moral compass
Someone I can trust
It also taught me what I would never
tolerate again . Now, it’s vital that my partner
doesn’t speak disrespectfully to me or about me.
If I feel that has happened, I address it right
away. It’s critical that I have the freedom and
independence to do what I want to do, whether
it’s getting a drink with a friend or pursuing a
major life goal. It made me realize that a
person who loves you will never, ever cut
you off from the other important people in
your life , even if those people have flaws of their
own. A real partner will accept that your family
can be kind of crazy and your friends might not
be the ones he would choose and embrace the
experience of getting to know them and forging
relationships with them.
I, learned
that there is nothing attractive, fun or
enjoyable about being with the “bad” guy-
no matter what the movies say.
For me, going through this relationship helped
me recognize and appreciate what makes a good
one. Though I don’t recommend it as a path to
enlightenment, at least knowing I learned from it
helps me make some form of peace.
And on the note of making peace, as I started
writing this  I was surprised by how much
anger and hurt is still in me from that experience.
Even though it’s been years, as I wrote I realized
that part of me is still recovering. I thought
about the idea of the Bad Relationship Guy in
question  doest even have remorse. And I wished I could say
something enlightened and mature like: ” I hope
you’ve found happiness and I wish you the best. I
forgive you for what you put me through.”
But I can’t say that and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be
able to.who ever said that heartbreak or painful experience doesn't
hurt have never experience any.thelma ma haney forgive the long
note.my fellow reader don't ever compromise in ur relationship when u
know is gonna hurt u,don't sit down and hope it will be better someday
or he will definitely come to his sense a dog will always b dog.thank
God who fetches water with basket to disgrace the bucket,for I'm a
living testimony.( Ttwrt)thank u miss T.

Comments

  1. Like I always say: It's only Natural that shit happens, quietly flush & MOVE ON... cos staying in the toilet is NOT healthy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have an interesting blog. thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your posts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it goes with the territory of marriage dear, one of its sacrifices.
      These feelings come- and can stay a while- you just have to prayerfully find your way through it until the sparks return.
      I also hate the feeling of not having to do what I want to do sometimes- because my husband thinks its best not to- it makes me feel like a child and I hate it.
      I don't and have never supported divorce but, really, when I think about the way things are in this age, the fact that one needs not stay in an unhappy marriage, if I ever did feel trapped and needing to break out, I just might.
      Just saying.

      Delete
    2. Really it has gotten so bad that I find sex as a chore, me, a whole sex freak we used to do 3 course things several times a day? I am lost, I feel like leaving for a while but for the kids……
      I hate to be in this boat however i want to be selfish for once, but at whose expense?
      I love life too much to be in this situation.

      Delete
    3. hmmm..it is well.. I'm not married but don't you think you can discuss this with your hubby ?

      Delete
  4. my dear, i feel you, marriage can be a sex killer, its not like u dont love the person, its just thatvit becomes tiring, especially for the woman who cooks, cleans, takes care of the baby or babies. the last tin on ur mind is sex o. even wen you r less busy, your mind is occupied with, what are we having for lunch or dinner, bla bla bla. my advise to you single ladies out there. BETTER ENJOY YA SEF? PARTY HARD! PLAY HARD! SHOP! GROOVE ETC! all this crazevto marry isnt the end of life o. just let things go their natural cause, else u rush in and rush out. nuff said

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this this this!! I always say this to my friends..be selfish now! idk why girls (ages 22-24) straight out of uni want to get married asap..don't you want to see life first ? all by yourself ?

      Delete

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