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What's Your Love Language?






The five love languages was written by Gary Chapman in 1995. In it he allows five ways people experience and most importantly express love. He argues that this list is exhaustive ie it applies to everyone where love is concerned. 

When I mentioned it in yesterday's post a couple of people asked what I meant and just to shed some light on it I decided to do this. It's necessary to know your love language as well as your partner's. Your emotional love language and that of your partner may be as different as Mandarin from English – no matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse only understands Mandarin, you’ll never understand how to love each other.



THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: 



Words Of Affirmation.

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.*

Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.
*Encouraging words
*Kind words
*Humble words


Quality Time. 

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.*

This means giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television together. What I mean is taking a walk, just the two of you, or going out to eat and looking at each other while talking. Time is a strong communicator of love. The love language of quality time has many dialects. One of the most common is that of quality conversation – two individuals sharing their thoughts and feelings. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person’s desires. We must be willing to give advice, but only when it’s requested and never in a condescending manner. 



Gifts. 

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.*

Almost everything ever written on the subject of love indicates that at the heart of love is the spirit of giving. All five love languages challenge us to give to our spouse, but for some, receiving gifts, visible symbols of love, speaks the loudest. A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or, “She remembered me.” A gift is a symbol of that thought. Gifts come in all sizes, colours and shapes. Some are expensive and others are free. To the individual whose primary love language is receiving gifts, the cost will matter little. 



Acts Of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.*

People who speak this love language seek to please their partners by serving them; to express their love for them by doing things for them. Actions such as cooking a meal, setting a table, washing the dishes, sorting the bills, walking the dog or dealing with landlords are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love. I’m not saying become a doormat to your partner and do these things out of guilt or resentment. No person should ever be a doormat. Do these things as a lover.



Physical Touch.

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.*

Holding hands, kissing, hugging and sex – all of these are lifelines for the person for whom physical touch is the primary love language. With it, they feel secure in their partner’s love. “Love touches” don’t take much time, but they do require a little thought, especially if this isn’t your primary love language or you didn’t grow up in a “touching” family. Sitting close to each other as you watch TV requires no additional time, but communicates your love loudly. Touching each other when you leave the house and when you return may involve only a brief kiss, but speaks volumes.


........
To know your love language check  HERE  . Don't forget to share your result with us!

(to read more extensively check Source

Comments

  1. Thelma ohhhhh, My Love language is ALL five if the above & more!!!!
    I pray my future hubby is like me too... at least he should possess four of the five...

    Shikena..

    ReplyDelete
  2. This my phone that keeps changing my "of" to "if" will be thrashed soon...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice. I just took that *Exam. It's fun. My result:

    9 Words of Affirmation
    10 Quality Time
    3 Receiving Gifts
    7 Acts of Service
    1 Physical Touch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Memphis sorry to ask o! Do you have some form of OCD (no offense meant at all) ? Physical touch 1? Wow.

      You don't like being touched? I'm curious. Please answer.

      Delete
    2. LMAO. Not really, but most times that aspect easily leads to bed, which I've been avoiding for a long time.

      Delete
  4. I have taken the test my reults:
    Words of affirmation: 4, quality time: 10, receiving gifts: 6, acts of service: 6 and physical touch: 4

    ReplyDelete
  5. first two for me thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I just took the test;
    4 Words of Affirmation
    10 Quality Time
    5 Receiving Gifts
    2 Acts of Service
    9 Physical Touch

    No surprises, I'm the spend time together and touchy type

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sweetie, how you get them is how you will lose them. besides that, are you comfortable being with a smoker ?

      Delete
  8. To the anonymous
    Be very careful. Do not date that man. If you end up with him and you ever get sick he will abandon you. He is a quitter. I know of cowards like him. You arent any different from his gf. the moment you arent as perfect he thought you were.
    Let him face the gf and tell her he is leaving her bcos of fibroids. You dont know what she has sacrificed for him b4 she swears for him and you carry a cross that isn't yours.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This was very interesting and here are my results starting from the highest to lowest quality.

    10- Quality time
    7- receiving gifts
    6- act of service
    4- words of affirmation
    3- physical touch.

    I do love my quality time with the boo.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I forgot to add mine.

    3 Words of Affirmation
    7 Quality Time
    8 Receiving Gifts
    8 Acts of Service
    4 Physical Touch

    ReplyDelete
  11. And my result is
    Word of affirmation. 8
    Quality time 7
    Receiving gifts 4
    Act of service 9
    Physical. Touch 2....

    ReplyDelete
  12. 7Words of Affirmation
    7Quality Time
    2Receiving Gifts
    8Acts of Service
    6Physical Touch
    Here is mine...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your Scores
    5Words of Affirmation
    9Quality Time
    9Receiving Gifts
    6Acts of Service
    1Physical

    ReplyDelete

  14. 9Words of Affirmation
    10Quality Time
    0Receiving Gifts
    4Acts of Service
    7Physical Touch

    ReplyDelete
  15. 9 Words of Affirmation
    7Quality Time
    2 Receiving Gifts
    5Acts of Service
    7Physical Touch

    ReplyDelete
  16. smone pls tell me d steps, i cant seem to get it rit, and i want to knw mine plssssssss

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi everyone its been awhile. So here's mine
    4 words of affrirmation
    9 quality time
    6 receiving gifts
    9 acts of service
    2 physical touch

    ReplyDelete

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