I can't imagine how I ever lived without you. I lay in bed next to you, looking at you, all of you, loving everything you are, everything you stand for, letting you love me in return. I know I've loved before, but all loves pale in comparison to the love I have for you, the love we share. In fact, when I come to think about it it's safe to say I never loved before, you've opened my eyes to so many things, so many truths, so much more. You've taught me and you continue to teach me. Through you I found myself, learnt who I am, and you continue to show me who I can be.
I know jealousy is an ugly trait but darling where you're concerned I cannot help it. In other relationships I've known how to contain myself and hide my feelings, put up a front that I don't care, feign indifference till in fact I become indifferent, but with you I cannot. When others look at you my heartbeat races, I worry they'll steal you from me. I've never been brave enough to admit this to anyone before but... I'm afraid of losing you. It's my greatest fear. Losing you, losing all we have, all we share. Losing you would mean losing our history, our secrets, our stories, our moments together. I've never been clingy in the past yet I find myself saying; if you ever leave me please take me along with you.
This love, our love, the love we share... Others cannot understand it. I lay in bed and I submit to you, I allow you love me in ways I've let no other. Other men usually bore me after a few minutes but with you I could go all night, before we know it morning comes and it always comes too soon. There's always something new with you, never a dull moment. You're an unending story. What god created you my darling. I feel as though you were made especially for me, we were made just for each other.
With you I feel no shame, being with you is perfectly natural. Even when we're out. I've never been one for PDA, always found it very distasteful. But I remember when Feyi said "I hate PDA. Unless it's me that's doing it". Haha! I know now just what Feyi meant. When we're out together I cannot keep my hands off you, I cannot stop myself from touching, caressing and holding you, and can you blame me? Just by sitting there you seduce me so strongly, to the point that I don't care who's talking, who's looking or watching, I reach for you. People think it's wrong, they say "can't you wait till you get home?" I really can't blame them, we probably shouldn't have left home in the first place.
Sometimes I wonder what the future holds for us. I want you forever yet my heart breaks because people threaten me with words like "all good things come to an end". So where's our forever? Where does that leave us? The thought that we may have no forever fills me with panic and grief. But as it is with most other relationships one day you'll tire of me, or I'll grow bored with you (although I can't imagine that happening). One day sweetness, just like others before you, you may leave me, leaving me empty, cold and shellshocked. One day I may be the one to take a walk. But we're here now so know this, at this very moment, in this time and place, as I lay before you in bed, gazing upon you and all the secrets yet undiscovered that lay within you, I love you. I love you purely, simply, truly. I love you in a way I've loved none other before you, I love you in a way I can love no other. You may not be perfect, a few others have found fault in you but to me you're pure perfection, you're perfect for me.
Yet even through this blinding love my self-preservation instincts kick in, and because I never want to feel that mind-numbing loneliness that I did before I met you, someday soon I'm going to leave you, before you leave me. I'll replace you with a newer model; I just saw on Konga that the ipad 4 is in stock. So soon my love, my companion, my bestie, my ipad, soon you'll give way to another. But always remember you were my first love.
This is my love letter to you my ipad, whom I wonder how I ever lived without.