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Kemi Adetiba, Spice Lounge And Women Clamping Women Down.

Over the weekend Director and TV Host, Kemi Adetiba posted this online. I was outraged to say the least. I know I've written on this particular issue before and I've been in this situation a number of times, here in Lagos, in Abuja and Port Hacourt. In Abuja I've experienced this insubordination several times at JEVENIK RESTAURANT in Wuse 2 among a few other places. Sometime this year one of our blog readers, two of my friends and I went for drinks somewhere on the Island; Double Four to be precise. We were four decently dresses, financially independent, upward mobile women but for close to thirty minutes we were ignored. At first we were carried away by gist till I noticed that others who had all come in after we did had all been approached by waiters/waitresses to take their orders but not us, because we were all female. Of course I demanded to know why we hadn't been attended to and demanded an apology. 

When a staff of Spice Lounge was questioned by this is what he had to say:

If men want to bring prostitutes, it’s fine but they don’t want any of them hanging around anyhow’, the staff who’d rather speak in anonymity told NET.... 
This is the stupidest reason ever given for anything to the best of my knowledge. But hey, that's just my opinion. Apparently most people think it's valid and that their action was justifiable. And guess what, these "most people" are apparently women! Haha. 

When I first saw the post on Laila's blog I expected outrage from the girls/women; How dare they?! They should be shut down! Are they insane!!! Were the kinds of comments that I'd expected to see. But to my utter shock and disappointment I saw comments insulting Kemi Adetiba, cussing her out and calling her names, asking her who she thinks she is and making insulting references to her career. Asking her if she dressed like a prostitute on the said day and several other hilarity. And yes, these comments were made by us women. 

I honestly could not make sense of it. How do we win the battle for gender equality when we ourselves see ourselves as subordinate and lesser beings? 

As I pointed out on Laila's blog, as long as women are viewed as the lesser, weaker, lower, subordinate, less than important sex, stories of rang rape, stoning to death, forced marriages, child brides etc will continue to reign in our world. The one that bothers me the most is the sudden upsurge of gang rapes all over the world. The only reason men do this without fear of consequence or  repercussion is because; oh the victims are just women. Who are they? Yes, so they rape, maim and murder women without impunity most times because the victims are WOMEN. 

We need to begin to see the bigger picture. 


  1. Yep,we women in Nigeria aren't in support of ourselves...#Period.

  2. Just like Sasha said, We women are our greatest wahala!!!
    At Banks, Restaurant, Malls etc, a woman will prefer serving a man over her fellow.
    If U complain, na YIMU u go receive...

  3. Are they for real? So every girl that comes without a man is a potential prostitute? That is preposterous.

  4. If I were Kemi Adetiba, I would not bother going in....What is so special about the lounge anyway?
    Meanwhile, it's the same problem that has persisted for ages....Women are not respected even at the very height of their careers. The most annoying is that fellow women would rather believe a high-flying career woman gets there through the back door (sex). It's a shame......

  5. So true@ ruthy...I've experience my fair share of discriminations at chicken republic in calabar where I reside, me sef come dey wonder wetin I dey find dia after a couple of times with their greasy food.

  6. So true@ ruthy...I've experience my fair share of discriminations at chicken republic in calabar where I reside, me sef come dey wonder wetin I dey find dia after a couple of times with their greasy food.

  7. This kinda experience isn't funny at all.
    On reading it, the silly excuse the anon staff gave was the first thing that came to mind, that would be their defense. But there are other ways to handle this if they truly had equal values for women.
    I'm not surprised at the responses you observed.

  8. its everywhere now o...even hospitals
    i went to a hospital to receive injections and d stupid female receptionist i met just said i should sit down without telling me she would get d nurse for me or anytn...sat there for close to 30mins while she gisted wit her colleague but wen a couple entered she gave dem 100% attention...Omo i flared up!!!!!!!!!!

  9. So sad, so annoying. Me i know i would have left .

  10. Women are always in competition with other women, there's a deep seated inferiority complex that women have and that's what causes the instant disdain for other women that seem to have it all. What men would see as a challenge and motivation to better themselves, women turn to hatred, jealousy and envy. It's simple, women don't go out of their way to look good, buy expensive jewellery, phones, cars etc to attract men, they do it to oppress and spite their fellow women. This is the same reason I believe that two women can never truly be friends, even sisters, they usually feel threatened by the next woman, even the ones they don't know from anywhere. I don't know where this sometimes deadly competition originated but it's really disturbing.

    1. true! Blame it on our oestrogene? (I donno). We are in such competition amongst ourselves,its baffling...

  11. Now, imagine (all) countries in the world being ruled by women.....frenemies in the making.


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!

One More Post...


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


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Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

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I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
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