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Mood Swings (TTRWT)- By Veevian



I needed to pee, and I needed to go bad. I quickened my steps as I walked from the bus stop to the bikes stand, almost home I thought, silently willing my bladders to hold on a bit more. “Ah customer, oya, estate abi?” they started shouting as I got close to them. I always found that annoying, do they have to shout that I am a customer’. I really need to fight my fear of driving on this crazy Lagos roads, so that all this okada and danfo hustling can end (or actually have the money to buy the car sef *sigh*). I made my way to a nice looking okadadude, folded my skirts and hopped on amidst shout of “Aunty na me carry you yesterday na” “Aunty tomorrow I go carry you o!” We zoomed off, the bike almost flying off the ground. I held on tight, one hand holding on to the bike, the other holding on to my handbag and the dusty helmet; there’s no way I’m putting that on my head. There was the occasional ‘easyooo, I no dey rush’ as the bike ‘flew’ me home but they just never listen, I just sat there, holding on tight, almost home, almost home.


He stopped me in front of my house, without my directing him, I guess I really am his customer. I alighted, hoping I hadn’t flashed my undies to the gateman sitting in front of the gate. I handed over a N100 note and stretched my hand expecting to be given my change. ‘Ah aunty, u no go leave change today’ he said grinning with his tobacco stained teeth. I waved him off and ran into the compound, making my way up the stairs. Usually, I made it a point of duty to always collect my change, no matter how small, from everyone: the shoe maker, the bus conductor, the iya Bashira food joint, the okada man, but today, there is a pressing matter of having to use the toilet so I had to let that N50 go.
As I ran up the stairs, I was already calling out my cousin’s name Cynthia!! open oo!! She was as sluggish as a snail, I knew it would take her ages to get up, get the keys and open the door for me. But she surprised me today, as I got to door and raised my hands to bang on it, the door flew open and there she was standing, looking confused “what? what happen?” she asked looking over my shoulders. probably for the mad man pursuing me. “Abeg, take first” I said throwing my bag at her. 

That was when I realised I still had the okada guy’s helmet with me. We both burst out laughing. “What is this?, is today take a bike and get a helmet free day?” I was laughing hard and I was very pressed, I didn’t think it was really good for mybladder. I ran into the toilet “wait o biko o, I want to pee I shouted as I ran, throwing off my shoes with speed. Cynthia’s laughter doubled, I knew she would be rolling on the groundnow, she is a crazy laugher like that.  I didn’t care. I just needed to go. In the toilet, my behind landed so loudly on the toilet seat that I had to check if it wasn’t broken, I wasn’t up for any expenses for toilet fixing biko. As the pee left me, I felt a deep relief and I took a deep breath. Wow peeing could be so sweet.

Done, I got up, washed my hands and went out to meet Cynthia arguing with my tobacco teeth stained okada guy. He didn’t find it funny that I thought to steal his helmet, and Cynthia wasn’t being a help with her tone. I just picked the helmet, handed it over to him and apologised, he was still grumbling, so I promised him that I would ride with him tomorrow, he figured that meant more tips for him so he flashed his tobacco smile again.

We didn’t hear the last of it that evening as we had dinner, everyone was fed the story by Cynthia, which she made more interesting with her added ‘pepper and onions’, Jackie andFade our flat mates and George, Fade’s hottttt boyfriend, laughed their hears out. Yeah, my miserable life was always a source of laughter for them. it’s like they rushed home everydayto lighten up their day with stories of one of my mishap or the other, Like the time I was seriously catwalking up to Leo by his car and some crazy dude drove by and splashed water all over me, I swear I tasted the shitty thing, argh, it would have been ok if Leo and I could have just laughed over it privately, but no, Fade and Cynthia were watching and it turned into a dinner joke (and Leo never called back, maybe my mouth was shitty smelling when I pecked him??). Well I laughed too, I was the nice one, polite and always smiling. 

so I laughed, then my chin started to hurt from all the forced laughter, then I felt heavy in my heart, and suddenly I was wailing, not the silent sob sob no, it was the loud diariz gawdwailing. I don’t know where it came from honestly. I was just wailing, why oh why, why do I have to be the one who owes the rent money till the last mimute, why don’t I have a car or a man or money sef? I was the oldest among them, at 30 and I felt they were more accomplished. Why won’t Leo call or return mine? who sent that heediot to splash water on me sef? When will I marry oo? The room went quiet and Cynthia was by my side telling me how things weren’t that bad, everyone echoed the same thing, I sniffed and smiled my thanks.
The mixed look and reaction from them was priceless though, they didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and I had myself a good laugh at that later.

Comments

  1. You tried but it was all over the place. I'll pass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You this anon hmmm....don't u ever have anything nice to say???
      Welcome veevian, it was a funny story and well written. I was smiling thru the read.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Tolu! Dear anon, I'll try harder next time. Promise.

      Delete
    3. Bien fait. J'aime ca et du courage

      Delete
    4. Merci Noel! j'apprecie

      Delete
  2. I could relate to the end. One minute you're happy, the next you just want to cry your eyes out. It is well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Dear lord... people do go through things oh... but this did get me ROTFL...

    Veev Welldone. I Loved it wella! U described every scene in detail & I could see it vividly like I live with U guys.

    With all this amazing characters, no wonder T's blog Rocks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ruthy dearie...

      Delete
  4. The last part is so me. Happy this minute and the next am crying my heart out like there is no tomorrow. All i know is that at the end all will be well.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good read but it seemed a bit rushed, you passed the message very well sha, got it loud and clear. That's extreme mood swing, from laughter to tears in an instant. It's as a result of keeping things bottled up inside for too long and always been the polite and smiley one, once in a while it's good to open up and share what you really feel in other to avoid chronic depression. Meanwhile the diariz gawd wailing cracked me up.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL! The way in which you've narrated this story is all so funny! Even the mixed reactions they had while you were crying! I could see their faces through the whole ordeal! Lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mine i can b happy this minute before u know am already feeling blue

    ReplyDelete
  8. Luckily I never have mood swings. Never! Funny piece dear. Well written

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not even when ur ovulating or having aunt flow?

      Delete
    2. I don't have any of those ovulation symptoms. Heck! I don't even know when I am ovulating except... Ok. That's it.
      I am not always happy but most times when am mad I know why. It just doesn't swing by.

      Delete
  9. First of all...to the critic (Anon) I'm sure Veev ddnt write ds blog to please u...

    Beautiful piece Veev...glad u finally put it up :-). Look forward to more posts *mwah*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. B! Plenty hugs. i crawled outta my hole, thanks to Thelma Thinks. Thank you everyone

      Delete
  10. Well Written Veevian, I was totally hooked all through,was laughing out loud. I could totally relate with being happy one minute and struggling not to cry the next minute for no particular reason.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good writing style, very easy to follow and relate to our every day living

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Perfect me" on paper. Good one Veev.

    I'm in Lagos. The other end of the town though. It does not fall under *mainland or *island sef.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please where is this place in Lagos that's neither here nor there?

      Delete
  13. I almost wanted to cry with u at the end. It is well dear.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nicely written Veev, perfectly plausible. I could picture the way you were shouting ''Cynthia!!, open o!!!''LOL. Glad you had people that understood you around you at the time and I would say, it kind of seems better that you cried other than transferring aggressions from the pains you have bottled in that led to the tears at them. You would have seemed crazy to them. It is well.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hmmmm! I can relate to this feeling of believing you are the least accomplished in the midst of people around you....Can be frustrating but we have got to count our blessings......
    -F

    ReplyDelete

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