I've been in my own space for a while now, to be honest I kind of lost interest in almost everything but then this morning while I went through the usual gossip blogs I saw a mail on Laila's blog sent in by one of her readers as I read through the mail my fingers immediately began to itch and I just needed to write.
So this reader talked about a scar on her hand that she's had since she was a child when she dipped her hand into a pot of hot water. This scar is eating away at her confidence, subjecting her to wearing long sleeves and hiding her hand away from people. It has also made her shy away from meeting men for the fear that her scar would repulse them.
While I can't in all honesty say I know exactly how she feels her story reminded me of a guy I used to know. Chuma, like me, was a member of AIESEC and everytime we had national conferences and all the members from all the universities met up for that one week, wherever Chuma went people followed. He was friendly, fun, brilliant and very exciting. He had an awesome personality that attracted people to him, was an extrovert and also the life of the party. Chuma also had an eye for good things; this was evident in his choice for a babe. Babe was smoking hot! Perfect hourglass figure with a pretty face. And Chuma himself? Yeah well, Chuma was deformed, had no hands and a bent spinal cord which meant that he could never stand upright, was constantly bent and had difficulty walking. Yet it was as though no one noticed Chuma's shortcomings, because Chuma himself seemed not to notice it. The guy was and is one of the most confident individuals I know. His deformities and shortcomings did not affect the way he saw himself, or the way he saw life; his deformities were not limitations, he didn't allow them to be.
I've come to realize that everything we do, what happens to us, our experiences, achievements, success, failure, it all starts from the mind. Someone with a bruise on her leg who already believes that the bruise will stop her from achieving what she wants will probably never achieve as much as someone who has no legs but believes in herself regardless.
Sometimes it's very hard not to allow those things we see as shortcomings limit us but then again, if you don't believe in yourself, who will?
Speaking from the love angle, I'm of the school of thought that there's someone for everyone. Someone will love you with and despite all your flaws and shortcomings. They will accept you completely. They will not try to change you but will try to make you the best version of you that you can be. They see beyond the physical, beyond how beautiful, ugly, slim, fat, short, tall or scarred you might be. They see You. I know because even if it's only happened once I know what love feels like, I know how it feels to be loved. It's complete and total acceptance, it's unconditional, it's free; has no charges at all, it comes with no provisos, it has no hidden terms and conditions. And while we're on the matter, if someone loves you for a physical attribute you possess then my darling, they do not love you. What happens if and when you lose that attribute?
So hey, see yourself and you would want others to see you, and act like it! There's nothing as sexy as confidence, it's the most attractive trait a person can possibly possess.