Although I'm not much of a talker it's not often I'm left speechless. But there've been a few moments that someone did or said sh*t and I was literally left silent, stunned, speechless. I'll share some with you:
Today's Wedding. 2 speechless moments.
#Speechless 1. One of my all time worst nightmares: I sat quietly in my seat, 'pressing' a phone, minding my business when the lady came to me. "Beautiful aunty please come and stand with the couple and watch them as they cut the cake and tell us what you observed". #Speechless.
Aaaargh! I've always prayed this never happens to me. But I got up and did just that. When the couple started cutting the cake something went wrong with some wiring and they had to pause for a few minutes. Here's the true version of what I observed:
The bride was cranky all through, in fact since they danced in, no he danced in and she walked in, she's had a look on her face like they forced her to be here. Now cutting the cake, she actually uttered the words "Oooooh, let us cut this thing and get it over with abeg". "I'm cutting it o, I don't know about you". While the groom tried to persuade her with a smile both frozen and plastic.
What I said:
(The usual BS). What I observed is a couple that symbolizes love and togetherness, and it was obvious just the way they both worked as one to cut this cake. All I saw was unity, they stand as one.
#Speechless 2: I sat with my nephews while my sister went to mingle and some guy came over to chat. While giving him my number an older man came and said "Why is a married woman like you sharing her number?" #speechless. (Maybe because the first thing that flashed through my mind was "the bloods we are shiarin... Dia is god oooo")
#Speechless 3: my friend is from a wealthy home, her dad is with the Federal government and is freaking rich. One day I accompanied her to see him at his duplex at the Oriental Hotel where he was with his wife and some guests. I knew her mum very well but daddy is very busy so we've met on very few occasions, therefore he probably couldn't remember me.
My friend: daddy, this is my friend, Nwando
Me: good afternoon sir
Daddy: good afternoon. Who is your father?
A very awkward silence followed and her mum came to the rescue by mumbling some niceties and changing the topic.
#Speechless 4: My Ex; Nnamdi who I was so terribly in love with and who was even more in love with me, and also very protective of me; his priceless jewel, suddenly said one fateful afternoon seven months into our relationship; "let's see other people. I want to sleep with other people. You're free to do the same". Me.... #Speechless.
#Speechless 5: A few weeks later at about 2am Nnamdi calls me sounding super turned on, talking breathlessly. " baby... Baby she's .. She's f......." Bottom line is Nnamdi actually went ahead to sleep with someone else and called me while it going on with the skank, gave her the phone to talk to me, she actually introduced herself as Chi something or the other and then they went back to panting and I held my phone #SPEECHLESS.
I held on for a while, soon he said she was driving him crazy, he'll talk to me later, then he hung up. I sat in bed. Called bestie and told her what just happened and she listened to me cry for an hour or so (free midnight call). Eventually I had to let her get back to sleep but I was up till day light. Nnamdi was/is the best I've had, how could that have happened? Where on earth do I find these FOOLS?! Needless to say that ended the "relationship".
So hey! Those are some of my #Speechless moments.
I'm simply dying to hear yours!
@ today's wedding, I just couldn't understand it. The groom was super excited but the bride was frowning all through, like she was forced to be there. Also the groom is Igbo while the bride is Yoruba but the entire wedding was Yoruba; the food, the music, the prayers, the speeches, the MC's jokes, the dressing even. I couldn't really understand it. Shouldn't they have struck a balance or something? Everyone around me noticed these two things; the bored/disinterested/irritated bride and the wholly Yoruba wedding with an Igbo groom.