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" I go kee you tohday walai, ifanor kee you ma name nor be Oj". 

The commotion outside my room cut short my sweet dreams where I was having Dinner at El' Crush with Femi Dollar( yes! the very famous and rich OTEDOLA) and he was about handing me a  cheque of N150,000,000.when the noise from the next room woke me up.
Screams I could recognize even in my dream was definitely coming from Henrietta cos she constantly gets dealt with as she would never tame her wild tongue.
I struggled with sleep  and finally forced myself out of bed as her screams got louder.I opened the door and peeped and thank God I had not come out full figured as I would have been a blind bat by now cos the green bottle I saw flying towards the bridge of my nose made me dash back into my room and all the sleepiness in me disappeared with the speed of lightening.

''May evribodi enta has o cos na kilin spree i dey dis aftunu,who do anyha  go see anyha" Oj kept shouting.

I quickly dodged under the bed in my room just in case he was also about to dole out a stray bullet cos I wasn't sure anymore what other arms he held asides the bottle or if he was just bragging(better safe than sorry).

Oj was a bus driver in Aswani park while Henrietta hawked herbal drink(called agbo in yoruba).
Henrietta a secondary school dropout had a tongue as sharp as a sword and was proud to the high heavens.Oj on the other hand was a driver in Aswani park and popularly called "gentle agbero" a.k.a  "ladies man" because of the gentle way he called passengers at the park.This title kind of turned him into the randy man he was gradually becoming.

I wondered who could have provoked Oj to the point where he was ready to spend the rest of his life in kirikiri. I quickly brought out my phone and scanned through the contacts as I once saved the DPO's number due to the constant fights in the vicinity. Still Henrietta would not keep calm as her voice was as loud as a trumpet and kept distracting me.

 "u nor fit do me natin" she barked, "Oj,u tink say na d one wey u do before wey i just ala am pass like dat? aaah dis time u don jam rock Oj,u dey ye me so? i say u don jaaaaaaaaaaam rock. aaahh na me wit u tohday Oj..... After u don shop my sweet ogbono finish u promise me marej.... Oya na me don ge belle u say u nor marey me again? aahhhhh na lie u lie Oj. Forget o! all dis ur denge pose anger na for shile market o, e nor move me kaka. Dat ashewo wey u put for inside room better come out na before I enter dia kon do u strong tin"

whaaaaaaaaaaat!!! so all these noise, threats and bottle fight was because they had a fling and she was dumb enough to believe it would end in marriage? I felt foolish for hiding under my bed and with a boiling anger I stomped out of my room and made to confront her and Oj for threatening the neighbors and disturbing the peace of the 'yard'.

ME: "Henrietta! Oj!" I screamed on top of my voice, "una two dey craze I swear." Pointing a finger at Henrietta, "so na bcos u shine congo for free come still collect prize make u dey shout since dey disturb awa sleep? ... shame still nor gree u enta house lock door,u stand dia dey make noise sotey u  nearly allow Oj scatter my face with that star bottle! Una two well so?" I asked in anger,remembering how they allowed me miss my 150,000,000 cheque in dreamland.

Henrietta: "ehn ehn o! make nobody call my name dia o, cos Oj don gimi belle and e must marey me.e do finish e go empaya go carry ashewo come......."
she had barely finished her statement when  Oj pounced on her.

Oj: "Na ur mama be ashewo,for your infomate,na my wife be dat birifu geh wey dey inside. so make u find who giyu belle go mechanic workshop wia u dey sell paraga or may u go Shile park.God punish ur mouth dia... see ehn, If i hia pim for dat ya mout again walai na blade ago take comot ya tong. Sweet sef, u nor kukuma sweet to f*ck, na em make me fine my wife go front"

I just looked on at both of them in pity cos they were birds of a feather and were a perfect match for each other if only they knew.

I made up my mind to move to lekki phase 1 after this unfortunate incidence, where I can sleep in peace and collect my cheque in dreamland.*winks*.

LOL. It's so hilarious when someone tells a full story in pidgin. I've tried before and I failed miserably. 

I'm sorry I haven't posted any TTRWT stories in a while, I've been kinda all over the place of late. 


  1. Before I read this, lemme talk first. Please, how do you people keep malice? I've been trying to be strong hearted but its not working. *Dee and I had a little misunderstanding over his going out with friends late night. He came back when I was sleeping. This is someone that just had an accident that kept him in the hospital for two months and a week due to late night waka. This morning, I greeted him and we tried talking out yesterday night. I talked and he did not like it. None of us went to work. He has not resumed work- still recovering and I took a leave of absence. He's not talking to me and I've tried all I can to talk to him. He did not budge. I went out to see a friend at work but my mind no comot for him side. I had to go back home. Done my best but he's still not talking to me. I'm getting frustrated. I'm crying sef cos I dunno how to stay like that.

    Funny bah..don't yab me pls. Its just me. How do they keep malice now? He's cooking for us but he's not still talking. I'm fucking loosing my mind. The only thing I said that got him angry is---- You ought to learn from your past experience dear. I don tire!!!! Sorry for the epistle.

    1. See me thinking he's cooking for us. He cooked for himself alone. I'm not wrong so I shouldn't be apologising here. Nawa o!!! Very soon, his friends will be back and he will go again. Hmm... Sincerely, this thing is eating me up.

    2. I think u should just give him his space cos u spoke the truth bt may have come out harshly,he will come around..cheer up

    3. Aniella yes, give him space. Babes I would love to see you invest yourself so emotionally in your husband and no one less. I know you once said he's mentioned marriage but as that's yet to happen... I'm really weary of getting involved in people's relationship issues but this isn't the first, second or third time you've left this kind of comment about you and Dee. You're in the prime of your youth, these years are golden and will never be given back to you, please spend them wisely and with someone who's worthy. I sincerely pray things work out for the best for you.

    4. Pls I want to believe Dee is your hubby and not a boyfriend or fiancé cos if its otherwise, you have entered one chance. You ain't married and hes ignoring you and choosing friends over you. You also took leave of absence from work. Pls such investment should be in your hubby o. A guy is at his best before marriage. if you are going through this now, after marriage will be dastardly.

  2. Ifesinachi Okonkwo3:53 pm, June 16, 2014

    Oh my! Oh my! This is so funny. BBB biko are you a waffi babe. This your pidgin no be hia.

  3. LOL. So refreshing to see something different. Nice one BBB.

  4. Welldone BBB!!! Very unique something!
    Still ROTFL

  5. Ruby diamond I want 2 ask is he ur husband or fiance, stil don't keep malice. Keeping late nyt is it 2 drink or wat. Try praying 2 God 4 direction: He remains d best teacher. BB smiles ur post was hilarious, God will take u beyond Lekki phase 1. Amen 2 dat. Smiles

  6. Funny funny funny, gud 1 dere BBB

  7. Thanks guys. *Dee is just a *fiance. Its easy to say I will ignore him but I promise I will. Its hard to do though. I really have to invest on and in better things. @teerexmusings...WORD!!! A guy should be at his best before marriage. Chioma, Thelma, anony; Thanks for putting a word. Want to move on but its difficult. When I take a step towards that, he cries and rambles about how he will find it hard to love anyone again, how this and that will happen. It is well sha...I'm too young to be having relationship issues sef. Hian!!!

  8. Bbb I really enjoyed your story and I could just picture all of them. Lol. She should better go and remove that belle if she knows what is good for her.

  9. Funny story but sad reality in most urban cities with motor parks, love the pidgin die! Where is BBB from?

  10. Haaahahahahaha, I am not a waffi babe o,I just happen to have a Good Command of the ''pidgin Language' LOLZ.
    Thank y'all for taking time out to read,and thank you Thelma for posting.

    1. Then you must have lived with wafi pipo before. Dis reminds me of ugborikoko

  11. So funny, I'm rolling. D pidgin make sense die. U r on point babes

  12. You try for dis wan wella. looking forward to more.

  13. lmao. not a bad piece

  14. Nice one my sista. God bls n wl continue to direct u. Amen


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