Skip to main content

Not Where I Ought To Be.





This is probably the most honest post I've done in a while but hey...
So I said I won't post for a while but the expected craziness of the day is yet to begin, so here I am.

I never give it much thought but when I read a comment in the last post asking that I get my priorities straight I stopped for a moment to think. 

People say you're either in denial, being dishonest or delusional when you're nearing 30 and you say you're unperturbed about being single. In my own case I probably don't help matters with the DFH posts but I'd hoped that my readers would actually read and not just jump to the conclusion once they sight the title. It had nothing to do with actually getting married but everything to do with needing a friend. 

Now I need this friend because I've always been one to rub minds with someone else before I arrive at a decision. Ironically I never really need their advice but it's usually in laying out the issues and articulating the challenges that I get my answers (thus a comment I made where I said that since my best friend can't give me the time I need, I just talk and imagine I'm talking to her, and in doing this I sometimes get my answers). 

I'm laid back for a number of reasons; at my age my parents have never asked or put pressure on me about marriage (unlike a lot of my friends/peers) they just figure that when the time is right it will happen, and the best they can do is pray about it. For this I'm extremely grateful, because unlike so many others pressure hasn't made me make a wrong choice. Believe me when I say that getting married is not a problem... There are suitors. My questions is, are you someone I'll want to stay married to? 

The second reason is this. I am not where I thought I would be right now. There's so much I need to do, so much that God created me to do, so much I wish I have done or am doing presently. This is what's on my mind, 24/7, literally. When I get on my knees I often forget to pray about marriage, it's usually an afterthought and sometimes I forget completely. (Please believe that there are some of us that aren't spending every minute waiting for someone to 'put a ring on it'. Some of my readers don't understand this, darlings I write not just to write but to entertain you in what ways I can. When I write about needing a man it's partly because it's more relatable and entertaining than me outlining the real problems that I face. But this does not detract from the fact that I want to love and be loved.) 

So no, I'm not where I ought to be. 
I'm not on the career path that my heart desires. (This doesn't mean I don't want to be a lawyer). 
I don't have the kind of finances I thought I would at this age. 
I haven't reached those milestones in my career that I thought I would have.
One of the reasons I was created is to make a difference to those around me; to help, to heal, to provide comfort and solace. To either be a solution or provide one. To matter in the lives of people who need help (physiological, emotional and psychological) and right now I'm still 'stuck in a moment'. 
I'm not where I ought to be; I've got talent in various areas but so far I'm yet to really see what I've done with them. 
So many other reasons, but for now I'll keep those to myself. 
There's so much that I am and I ought to be and it's just not happening yet and this is what kills me, bothers me, saddens me, keeps me awake, keeps me alive, drives me. 

So when you read about me needing a man, husband, eating out in some fancy place, my sex life or lack thereof, etc these are for our entertainment, and sometimes to entertain you while showing you that it's ok to talk about certain things that you want to but never do/did. These are the things I talk about to keep me sane and smiling. Sometimes it's therapy for myself and whoever needs it. 
There's just so much I am, yet I'm so far from where I ought to be. 


In all honesty I cannot complain, I'm not doing too badly. On some days I feel like I'm on the right track, and I have a lot to be thankful for. Also, I have this blog and you guys. And I also know that there are a lot of us facing these same issues. So many of us feel that we're not where we want to/ought to be. Some of us still don't even know who we are and what we want to do with our lives, or the purpose we were created for (for those in this category I'll advise that you begin to do something, anything at all. In 'doing something' you will learn more about yourself and have an idea of what it is you actually want to/ought to do. It is also in 'doing something' that God finds a 'place' to bless you.) Some others know but have no wherewithal or knowledge of how to proceed... 

Are you where you ought to be?

Comments

  1. *Wipes tears* I understand this post perfectly. Exactly were I am right now. Exactly what I feel at this point in my life. So much has been given to me, yet I have so little to show for it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thelma I love you because you're so real and somehow you just know how to put feelings into words. I know just what you mean and I'm also thankful that although I'm not where I want to be, I'm not where I used to be.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your blog has got me addicted. When I first discovered it, I was like wow!. This reminds me of Carrie from sex and the city. I love your blog to bits. I find myself feeling sad when u say u will not be blogging for a few days. Lame rite? Anyway, I am catching up with your blog from the beginning. Presently in December 2013. Keep up the good work and never be discouraged. God's time is and always will be the best. Onyinx.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Omg.
    I felt like I was reading myself Thelma, I even did a post on this!
    I can totally, totally relate with this.
    What I also know and strongly believe is that these little pieces will surely come together to form a sure and predestined whole that leaves you (us) marvelled at the mysterious nature of God's ways.
    Lots of hugs and immense love from me Thelma.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I dont believe anyone is where they want to be. I know I have never quite been. Its the desire to strive for more. Its the aspiring human spirit. Every now and then I get hard on myself but then I also find that its ok to commend the things I have done right. For starters Thelma you have this blog, you affect people on a daily basis. If you were where you wanted to be it is highly unlikely you would hit the ground running every morning.
    I always say "I make no apologies for the woman I am and the one I aspire to be".

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miss pynk you took the words out of my mouth exactly....99% of us are not where we want to be, trust me. Some days I feel like I'm living below my capabilities because I'm made for so much more but it's that want to be more that keeps us going. An outsider will look at ur life and think u r mental for even thinking such.... What I believe is everything good will come my love.

      Delete
  7. What can I say? You inspire me Thelms, you make me wanna desperately search for, invest in and bring out a better version of me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What can I say? I'm no where near where I ought to be at all, no thanks to poor functional ability. I'ld at least love to slug it out with this life nd see what I can make of myself then I can take whatever outcome it is as fate but in a case where you have certain things holding you back, mehn! Its not easy. So thelma, be grateful you still have the opportunity to keep the strugle going.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My usual thoughts, though I'm grateful for where I am now. But I still ponder over life. There's got to be more than this.#Enjay#

    ReplyDelete
  10. T I get you, never keep striving. Whenever you wake up is your morning, it's never too late. The worst is when you don't feel this way at all. At least you're making moves. Keep striving and no matter what obstacles you encounter never let songs of praise for God's love and mercy depart from your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Am always very grateful for wherever I am!
    I don't really fuss about the future cos it's so Uncertain. I always live for the NOW!

    Tomorrow will take care of itself. It's always one step at a time and NO regrets but one (not studying Education in school, I would have preferred a BEd to my BSc, too many responsibilities now to go back to school, just PGD sha)...

    God Bless & Help US All.

    ReplyDelete
  12. There is always a place better than where we are, and we must continue to strive/grow to get to that place. It is always a wonderful experience if you know what you need to do to get there, it expands our capability to unimaginable level and gives assurance of a beautiful future.

    It is not a crime if we don't know how to get there yet, the awareness that we are not comfortable with where we are should kick us up to start working on it.

    I am not where I would like to be but I am happy with where I am at this point; I am excited with the work that is ahead because the harvest is plenty but the laborers are few!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Like that pics says, I'm not where I ought to be but I grateful I'm not where I used to be. Everymrng I thank God for the opportunity to move forward in life. U should too.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

One More Post...

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa