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The Thoughtless Miss Sunshine (Midday Rant Anybody?)






I know some things in life are truly beautiful and often times we just must talk about these bursts of joy with other people, but it would do some others a whole world of good if you thought about it before yakking on. Miss Sunshine is very close to me, she gave me her phone to read a chat she had with someone and another chat to see an argument she'd had with her sister. And then I read her chat with a friend and my heart kind of broke. 

Miss Sunshine is a very cheerful lovely person, thus her nickname but sometimes she can be thoughtless and that thoughtlessness was exhibited in her chat with this friend. The friend is in her late 30s and single. Miss Sunshine is married with 3 kids. The whole chat revolved around her family and last baby in particular. How baby is walking like a penguin, seeking for attention and pretending to have cough, laughing like tinker bell on and on. How hubby is doing well, just bought her this and that, family plans for summer vacation in Maimi, ladida... I wondered if she was too blind or insensitive to notice that her friend was replying with only monosyllabic words; lol. hmmmm. lol. And more lol. How do you tell a friend who's close to 40, husbandless and childless, especially one whom you know would give anything to have her own family, about all the joys and pleasures of marriage and motherhood that you're currently experiencing? To me that's the height of insensitivity. 

It's just like when you're whining about your job or your boss or salary to your broke unemployed friend. I've been guilty of this and when I took the time to think about it I realized just how insensitive I'd been. 

And yes, because I've been at the receiving end of this particular brand of insensitivity I just must talk about it. Skinny beeches who stand around very-not-skinny/fat beeches and whine about needing to lose weight or being too big. WTF??! You're a size 10 sitting beside a Size 18 and you keep whining about how big you are and how you need to go on a diet and hit the gym, how you need to lose weight because you're so FAT... That's so thoughtless and insensitive. I've been in that situation several times and there are times I feel the motive is to make me feel bad and rub it in my face, other times I know the person is plain insensitive, sometimes I wonder if the person is simply taking the piss. Most times however I know the person is just plain clueless and insensitive. Yes several of my friends do this, thoughtlessly and harmlessly but still, sometimes it rubs me the wrong way. Can you discuss your desperate need to lose weight when you're with your fellow size8-10 skinnys and not with someone who's practically twice your size?! If you're lamenting about needing to lose weight then where do you want me to begin?


So yes, before you speak spare a little thought for the person who's beside you, the person you're speaking to or the person on the receiving end. Share your issues with someone who can truly empathize with you and not with someone who's listening to you while praying to have even half of those same problems you're complaining of. 

So yes, this is my rant. FEEL FREE TO RANT ABOUT WHATEVER!

BTW something I cannot explain is going on with me today. I've gbaguan'd terribly three times ;
No I didn't feeled it. 
She had three childs before him. 
Yesterday he comes here. 

.....hmmm, I hope nobody is putting something in my coffee. 

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God will heal your heart and wipe your tears, I cld feel ur pain

      Delete
    2. Oh wow Blink, I was just waiting till when I'm free to read your comment properly and reply, only to see that you've deleted it. Anyways if you want to talk you can mail me, ok?

      Delete
  2. The worst are married women rubbing it in single friends faces. So not fair and selfish.
    My rant; I just want work to close so I can go home. So fucking tired.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How about the ones who rub their gold and money in your face. I wear 'yaba clothes,' so frigging what? I choose the uncommon and quality ones and they fit, i just do a blend of everything that you can never tell which it is. Yet some people with 'oiyel' money wanna rubbish you and say it to your face..."what are you wearing, you don't deserve the award for best dressed". Sis, I got nominated for my style and carriage, not the worth of my clothes! go shove it in your throat! Too many money miss road...*takes a walk*

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL! The gbagauns are so funny!
    Though I hardly feel bad, when someone talks/complains about something I obviously wish for, I don't even waste a min to call that to their notice o. Someone 'cannot come and gimme' high BP because they feel like gisting and not being considerate. Sometimes people just want to talk about themselves harmlessly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think I did it once to my Bestie & She cautioned Me wella. I weigh 68 & she weigh 100+ (Kg) & when I lamented how I needed to loose 15kg around her she was so mad & asked "So babe if u dey complain about weight make I kill myself shey? Take time oh"! LOL. I had to zip my mouth.
    Spent 2weeks with her. Jogged for an hour everyday WITH her instead of complaining I encourage now. We learn everyday!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now I want to Rant...

    Dearest Beloved Families, STAY the hell AWAY, I Mean STAY VERY FAR AWAY as in VERY VERY VERY FAR AWAY from the Relationships & Marriages of your Siblings/Kids just because of STATUS!!!

    FACE ya own Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happiness is Personal...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Financial/Popularity status!

      Famous family can't marry from a local family.
      Rich family shouldn't marry from a poor family!!!

      Like are they superior beings?

      Delete
  7. Hahaha. Thelma your gbagauns have nothing to do with coffee. Biko wear red cap and defend yourself with palm fronds so they won't come again. :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. Some people aren't thoughtless, they do just want you to feel bad. When it comes to the weight maybe they don't know how to say you need to lose weight so they use themselves so that you'll know if someone smaller than you needs to lose weight then you need to lose weight even more. My opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol @ the gbagaun part.
    That happened to me once before in a way I don't think I'll ever forget- in camp.
    I was in the north, training under the hot sun.
    That day, for some reason, I noticed I was "vabbing" every time I spoke.
    I also noticed that when the instructors would say, "apprention" abi "right about turn", everyone would turn right- I'd have turned left.
    Before midday, I heard I actually fainted and had a two minute seizure ( I had never fainted my entire life).
    They said it was hypoglycaemia but, my sister, I can't say what actually happened really.
    I had just graduated from law school, went for camp ( I had had some kinda premonition of something bad so u had fasted for 21 days right before going for camp).
    I woke up from the faint " tabular rasa"- with a faint recollections of all the knowledge I had internalised in Lawschool.
    I leave you to imagine what that experience did to me. I spent my service year fasting, praying, studying, frustrated and slightly depressed- but God prevailed.

    Of course I'm not relating that to you at dear, it just made me think of a time not too long ago actually.....
    Only God knows what really happened really......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Infact, not "faint" recollection- I woke up barely remembering much and I really couldn't talk to anyone about what was happening- I felt deeply something spiritual was going on but my mum and sis would wave it as side and my sis would baptise it with one big medical term.
      I had to stop speaking to them about my fears and worry and start praying and studying my law books alk over.
      It alk felt too timed- I was just about to begin my career as a lawyer and had so much confidence- i suddenly found myself literally stripped if whatever skill and knowledge I felt I'd acquired.
      I won't wish that on my enemy - honestly.

      Delete
    2. Jeez Praised I wish I can get a clear picture of what you mean, although I can't it just doesn't sound pleasant at all. Thankfully for the most part it seems the prayers and fasting were not in vain.

      Delete
  10. Oh thelma... I jez luv U by d day. Ur blog is fast becoming home even if I never comment. On d yakking doe... Some peeps can sha b annoying, especially d ones U share blood ties with. Am sure am not d only one wt aunts that keep 'subtly' reminding me of how their daughters were ds "Ur Age" when they graduated or got married. But av learnt to hold my own over the years, we've all got diff lanes to run in d race. Still, seeing as how av also subconsciously ranted to friends dat have it worse, I guess am in no position to play d 'victim'.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh thelma... I jez luv U by d day. Ur blog is fast becoming home even if I never comment. On d yakking doe... Some peeps can sha b annoying, especially d ones U share blood ties with. Am sure am not d only one wt aunts that keep 'subtly' reminding me of how their daughters were ds "Ur Age" when they graduated or got married. But av learnt to hold my own over the years, we've all got diff lanes to run in d race. Still, seeing as how av also subconsciously ranted to friends dat have it worse, I guess am in no position to play d 'victim'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Buby I love you too. Plenty!!! Pls try to comment more often, ok? Thanks in advance.

      Delete
  12. Personally I think the worse is rubbing your children in the face of someone who doesn't have a child. That is not fair at all.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The magic is to think before talking. And if you didn't/don't, then I'm sure you'll become aware during your speech or conversation. If you also fail at this, then you are insensitive. Everyone should try a little empathy always.

    I remember complaining about my tummy being big and always getting the same answer "are you for real? Is this the same BIG tummy I'm looking at? Please, what do you want me to say about mine?" I learnt to keep mute. Now, I only complain about how I have refused adding weight. I need to get back into my size 10 bottoms but it seems this size 8 isn't going anywhere soon. :(.

    I remember typing this sometime ago - all people talk about is how to lose weight. Nobody talks about adding weight.
    I also wonder how people are concerned with getting fairer (complexion) and not getting darker. Sometimes I wish I was dark skinned.......


    About ranting, my cooking gas just finished. I went to make tea for my daughter who was crying for some unknown reason. I lit the burner and after about 5 seconds, I noticed the fire had gone off. Gas finished in less than a month?! 28days! Normal usage is 37 - 40 days. Waiting for daylight to address the issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What cylinder size do you use? I have the 12.5 which is exhausted in max three weeks and I cook mostly once daily (+ twice weekends).
      -F

      Delete
  14. I recall a day when I was discussing with my childhood/best friend who is 2 years older than I am. I found myself complaining of earning lower than some colleagues who did not handle as much responsibilities as I did; I complained about this and that. My friend, with a lot of emotions responded '.... but at least you have 3 kids and a job'.......I felt instantly remorseful particularly as she is not married and still job hunting.

    As we aim higher, we need to look back at how far we have come and see how many people we have left behind. We need not be insensitive to people's situations because we do not even know the battles they are fighting. We need not prove to people that we are better than they are because each of us has got something we are battling, challenge we are trying to surmount or situation we are trying to manage. Each of us is flawed no matter how perfect or good we think our life is. May God give us the grace.
    -F

    ReplyDelete
  15. Funny this life. I used to whine about how i was an unmarried mother and friends would sympathize, then over the years as most of us remained single and got older, their responses became 'at least you have a child' so i learnt to stop. Friend of mine who used to flaunt her wealthy husband in my face is calm now when after 5yrs of marriage she has no child. We really are all flawed in one way or the other, life would be a bit easier if we are sensitive to each other and think before we talk. I'm very slim and always whining about my fried eggs bossom lol and how i don't have enough hips and bum, so when my big friends whine about their weight, i tell them to work on their belly and enjoy their curves biko.

    As per ranting, i want to rant, oh i so want to rant but i would say too much so i would just take a deep breath. Those gbagauns tho looool

    ReplyDelete

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