Yes I'm razz like that...in case you didn't know.
Last week Friday I called V, (I've told you guys about V before in the post Here ,but in that post I used the name *David) I guess I just really needed to talk and seeing as it was late Friday night everyone I knew was either at home with their SOs or about to hit the club. On Friday nights V usually has drinks with his 'mates' at Piccolo Mondo before going to the club or heading back home, but that didn't deter me, wherever V was he would excuse himself and answer the call, provided it was me calling. That night however I'd seriously hoped he'd be home because I really needed to talk to him. I called and he answered after the second ring but before I could say anything he said "I can't talk now Wando, I'm on another call with my girlfriend". "What?" I asked him, certain I had heard him wrong. "I'm on a call with my girlfriend, I'll call you tomorrow".
He hung up and so many questions ran through my mind. When did V get a girlfriend? Why did he have to tell me he was talking to his girlfriend, couldn't he have just said "I'm on another call, I'll call you later" ? Who is she? Was he just taking the piss? Trying to get me jealous? When someone says they're in love with you can they love someone else? Would it be the usual 'I have a girlfriend' but one week later he'll call and say "it was complete bollocks"? I tried to act indifferent but I couldn't. Besides I felt worse. First was the fact that I still had my issues and still needed to talk to someone (I've come to accept that le bestie has completely moved on), and then now to compound these issues V says he's talking to his 'girlfriend'? Hia! Not funny at all.
I waited for his call (actually I didn't wait) but on Tuesday it occurred to me that V hadn't returned my call yet, since Friday! What fuckery? I didn't call him either, didn't want to hear any rubbish. Rubbish, because V asked me out for over a year and after that when he'd have flings he would tell me about it in an attempt to make me jealous and I never really minded but this time around I did. Not because I suddenly decided that I want to date him now, but because I want him to just be here, at my beck and calling. Leaving everything to attend to my needs when I call. And that has always been this way things were, till now. (Selfish, I know).
Yesterday he finally called. I was tempted not to take that call because I was still not quite out of the zone yet but I took it anyway. He said he wanted to meet up for drinks this evening, and maybe watch a match too. At *Beehive. I thought, oh nice. Of course. Then he said he'll be coming with her. I honestly didn't know how to respond, but then I thought, if this was another bait to make me jealous I won't fall for it. So I said "no problem, I'll like to meet her". All along I thought it had to be a joke. Beehive is OUR spot, our place. He cannot tamper with that by bringing some girl to OUR spot.
Anyways this evening I went there, he got there before me. I was so excited because I was finally going to sit down with a close friend, and one who always puts my needs before his so no doubt he would listen to me till I talked his ears off. And I didn't only want to talk, I also wanted to know what he's been up to, hear him out, listen to him laugh, listen to his jokes, hug him tight. I do love V, God in heaven knows I love Vinny. Curse whatever brought on this feeling of no-attraction. it's ruining me!
Guys in my excitement I had almost forgotten that he said he'll come with her, ok I didn't forget but I thought he was joking. When I walked in, I turned to the left where we usually sit when it isn't too crowded. V was already there. With her!!!
I didn't even know when I took a few steps backwards and turned around. I went back to the car and sat down for a few minutes, trying to process everything and decide what to do. I decided I couldn't go back inside. I couldn't pretend to be nice to some chic that I honestly do not care to know. So I came back home. (Ok I'm not home, I'm in G's boyfriend's house because I cannot go home just yet. I think I might cry if I do).
I called him to tell him I can't make it, the car won't start. Then he says that silly "aaawww" and tells her. I'm not sure what he said because he said it in French. Aha! I made the right choice to leave.
So V wants to rub his girlfriend in my face, and subject me to watching them all loved up all night (he's very lovey-dovey, touchy-feely) while they speak French (V is biracial but the chic is as black as me, ....and on the big side too, and pretty) and giggle like teenage girls! I'm happy I left biko. Whatever. I'm upset and I'm not sure why. Whatever jare. I think she saw me but as she doesn't know me she won't have known it's me.
Ok... So this is my rant, journal, confessional, whatever. I wasn't going to write today but I really needed to let off steam. G's boo won't stop laughing because both he and G have been telling me for months to date V, G in particular cannot understand what I mean when I say I'm not attracted to him, or anyone else. It's been over two years and I can't seem to feel attracted to anyone who expresses interest in me. Le bestie often says "Nwando it won't be well for the person that is doing this thing to you". Oh well...
Still singing I know one day one day, one day e go beta. E go beta e go beta... e go beta for me ooo
I miss Vinny.
*forgive any typos.