1. Talk about staying inconspicuous…
Two and a half years ago I was in dire financial straights, so I sold my home to keep my struggling business afloat. I neglected to tell the owners that they have an 800 sq. ft. bunker on the property that I built about seven years ago. The bunker that I’ve called home since I sold it. The entrance to it is well-hidden, but I still come and go very early/very late in the day.
I’m a single man who keeps to himself. I’m now in a situation where I could move somewhere else, but I love this hidden paradise so much.
2. Right then.
I cut off all contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya, I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific. No I am not joking. I am dead in the United States.
3. Is it strange that this feels romantic?
I once helped out a female friend’s family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. I found my friend’s diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife.
4. Not sure how one can even keep up such a front…
Everyone thinks I have a good job and roommates but I’ve been homeless and a prostitute for over year.
5. That’s certainly one way of nabbing a girl…
There was a girl who I had a crush on the moment I saw her on my college campus. She ended up dating a douchebag dude a few weeks later. I happened to end up sitting in a study room with him and a few mutual friends. He talked about how he didn’t think she was that attractive and how he liked other girls. I wrote the girl an anonymous email using one of those websites telling her about the things I heard and how the guy was a dick. She ended up breaking up with him after she found out he was cheating.
The girl is now my girlfriend of 6 months. She has no idea (and is sitting across from me in the library). I’ve never told anyone this before.
6. Guy’s got a good life if this is his biggest secret.
I once took a shit in the bathtub and then realizing what a horrible mistake I’d made, I flung poo into a hole In the wall.
My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.
7. This would scar anyone for life.
I accidentally killed seven people.
I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental.
I get a call a week later, there’s been an accident. I show up and there’s a ton of EMS and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.
Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants were DEAD.
I drink all day now and sleep. It’s killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined; we have a bunch of rental properties and we’d be shut down.
The story I tell is that my first kiss was 9 years ago, when I was 14, with my now fiancée. False.
When I was 13, I babysat an 8-year-old boy. His parents were very open, and he was very sexually aware (I caught him watching porn a couple of times). From the start, he was very aggressive, always grabbing me and trying to kiss me. After a while, oddly impressed with this new sort of attention, and very curious about kissing, one night we started making out. This became routine, and went on for probably almost a year, before I realized how horrific and wrong my actions were. I continued to babysit him for a while, but soon his parents stopped calling me. I’ve always wondered why. I’m terrified that I’ll one day be exposed as a child molester.
9. This feels unnecessary, no?
I have been pretending to be colorblind to everyone I have ever known, including my own parents since I was in 3rd grade. I am now 28 years old. I even convinced an optometrist of it.
10. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE.
When I was 13 I caught my father in bed with my 15-year-old brother’s girlfriend (also 15). I haven’t seen her since, but I’ve been blackmailing my father with it for the last 6 years.
11. Somehow this guy managed to fake getting hit by a truck.
Mine is pretty big, I was hit by a truck a few years back and was diagnosed with retrograde amnesia and awarded a 2.5 million dollar settlement.
I have used this money to move into Florida and I currently live in Boca Raton.
I faked the whole thing because I hated by life and wanted an excuse to leave. I haven’t seen my family since and have made a new life.
12. Why, dude? Why would you do that?
After graduating from high school, I went to a small out-of-state college where no one from high school knew me. I was told many times how impressive my false Australian accent was, so I decided it would be great fun to go through college pretending to be from Australia. All of my friends and even my girlfriend of two years think I’m Australian. I have a completely fake Australian identity, family, and past. I will soon be graduating, and I plan on asking the girl to marry me. Everything she knows about me is Australian I don’t know how to tell her she doesn’t really know me. Guess I’m forever a bloke.
13. Not all men are guilty, apparently…
I was falsely accused of raping a girl in high school. The resulting ostracizing was very scarring, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. I outran the stigma when I left the state for college. If it ever catches up to me like it was in high school, I’d probably become suicidal. How many times can you endure people telling you that you’re a monster before you believe them?
14. I don’t want to know this.
I’m a 25-year-old female high school teacher. I’ve gotten myself off on multiple occasions while fantasizing about fucking one of my 16-year-old male students on top of the desk in my classroom.
15. Is putting a loved one out of misery the same as murder?
My mother has multiple sclerosis and her health has deteriorated fast since I have been born. She was gone from being able to walk, to needing a cane, to needing a walker, to complete wheelchair usage, and now completely bedridden. She has a urinary tract infection that is untreatable and is constantly in physical and emotional pain. She takes prescribed medication for depression and bipolar disorder, as well as sleeping pills. Throughout my childhood she has tried to kill herself three times because she wants the pain to stop.
In the middle of the night, I bought something from a dealer and snuck into my house to give it to my mother.
She passed away within 2 hours.
My dad, sisters and brother have no clue.
Source: Ask Reddit.
Everyone has a secret. What's yours?