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Dear Thelma... (What Should I Do?)

Hey thelma! My name is ******, I love your blog and have learnt a lot of things from it. Something happened to me but I didn't tell any1, can you post it on ur blog? Thank you. I just want to be free and let it out. Is this a confession? please don't judge me.
Please don't mind my writing, this world is just a sad place...can one ever need help in this world without giving out something in return. I got to a point in my life were I knew it only God who can change my life, no money! No relationship so I focus on God to intervene. Being self employed i run my business from home, but it hasn't been easy because I aimed on getting some certain client which I wasn't getting because I worked from the comfort of my home. I prayed and cried and fasted 4 a financial helper so I could get a store, i stopped a lot of things I was doing wrongly especially sex for 5month, i just felt I should live right. So 3weeks ago my mum's cousin who stays in another state came visiting, the last time I saw him was 16yrs ago.. him and my mum lost contact, but got talking again. So this man i call my uncle, promised to help me and also invited I and my mum to come visit..then 2weeks later we travelled to see him and his family. The day we arrive I noticed he touched me on my butt when his wife was taking us to our rooms and I begin to wonder why this man touched me. The following day, mum n his wife went out! He just came to my room and started touching me and kissing ...I tried to push him out but didn't want the kids or maid to notices any sound so he left. Mum got back didn't tell her because I just didn't want any drama, then on sunday in church..I watched him sing from the altar and also teach sunday school, I marvelled because I wasn't expecting him to be active in church and I wondered why me? I tot God sent  help thru my 55yrs old uncle, wasn't expecting such thing..then I remembered no one has ever helped me without wanting something from me... Why? God is partial sincerely! He said he will have mercy and compassion on whom he will have mercy and compassion on...his mercies I cried for every day. Anyway all am trying to say is my uncle molested me in his house, forcefully had sex with me because he wanted to help me when I didn't even ask for in the first place, he just offered to help willingly. Am back to my home, but honestly I feel dirty n ashamed and am finding it difficult to pray...should I have screamed when he came to my room so his good wife, amazing kids n my mum know what he was trying 2 do to me. please what should I do? 


  1. Doesn't make sense. The deed is done so which one is 'what should I do'? Next! Abeg.

    1. I swear,that is a funny?????.....i thought he hadn't gone far sef wen u said nd he now he u saying he actually did not sure there is somtin to be said here

  2. Dear Poster, 1st i'll love to say Thank U for sharing. I do hope the advices here make u feel better & do the tight thing...

    I don't know what U should do... but this what I would have done & will do...

    1) once I noticed his flimsy attitude, i'll shun him & tell my mom.
    2) since the deed has been done, i'll talk to my mom & do whatever she says.

    She'll give u closure.
    I hope this helps?

    Be safe...

  3. This is really stupid, poster, you either thought your "uncle" would eventually help you after sleeping with you ( which he didn't since you're now at home) and so you're suddenly feeling ashamed or you are very very stupid.
    As in, I'm so angry at you and I'm angrier at that loathful uncle of yours- I wish I could stab him.
    Someone touched your button first day, came by to rub and kiss you and you didn't tell your mum because you didn't want wahala? God punish you.
    Abeg get out, deed is already done, turle-paced snail.

    1. I can see we sent our comments 2 mins apart.. I mean I just dey vex! doesn't make sense to me..please I need to know how old this woman is.

    2. For goodness sake someone came here for help not to be judged! U don't know what u would've done if u where in her shoes,some people may not have that kind of relationship with their mom to talk.
      U don't know the impact of ur words she is already feeling bad and guilty so pls don't add to it. A kind word may save a life!
      Pls lets stop this holier than thou attitude and help if we can. We have all made mistakes

    3. no one is holier than thou.. trust me we all (well some of us) have gone thru shit! but some things can be avoided that's all I'm saying.. and if that demonic pig provided her the financial assistance she needed would she have written a post ? I'm just trying to be logical here..
      and what does the last commenter mean by not screaming out of respect for his wife and marriage ?? I do not get it!!
      hmm this just shows that we have to do better.. you have younger once or kids ? be open with them and they should be open with you ..teach them to know when things are not right ..

    4. What am saying is that we shouldn't judge her,if she did it for money so be it,we don't know the state of mind she is in right now and a kind word maybe what she needs. In her post she said no one has ever given her anything without wanting something, we should be our brothers keeper.
      This got to me cos I have been ready to go over the edge and what brought me back where kind words so I feel for her

  4. to be frank I felt angry while reading this post.. you are how old again ? your 55 uncle "molested" you and you could not say anything or even shout ? after he touched your butt and tried kissing you the first time, didn't you know something was up and would have left his house or tell your mum so you guys can jejely leave without causing drama ?
    abeg abeg..i don't know how I can sympathize with you for real..

  5. Na wah o... I wish I could say sorry, but babe U no try! first time he came visiting your house, surely U must have seen d signs! Then from d post, it seems d molestation was done wt ur mum and his wife at home! yet U try to pass that off as a helpless situation!!! What else did you need to save you? The American army???!!
    Seriously I can't even say U'r naive, and i'd hate to call U dumb! But U NO TRY O!!!
    I care not to know ur age, the fact that you have a business U'r trying to establish says U'r no green baby and from the part where U mentioned remembering how no one had ever help U without a price, implying resignation and acceptance of ur 'fate',( even before d deed was done), am tempted to go with the anon that said U were probably hoping to gain from the mess and nw crying wolf cos it was all for nothing.
    This isn't being judgemental by the way, and like everyone else has said... d deed is done. Learn from it and MOVE ON!!! B

    1. Btw... a 55 years 'old' man U say!!! and U young and vibrant!!! He must have drugged U up enough to overpower U babe!!! B

  6. You were raped. How it happened, whether you screamed or not shouldn't be people's focus. The way people treat rape in Nigeria is funny. This is a serious crime. That fellow should do time for what he did.
    It's sad dat people are concluding that she wanted to gain something from it. If she wasn't actually raped, why do you think she is writing this?
    Dear poster, I don't blame you one bit, and I understand your reluctance to tell anyone, seeing the reaction of people on this blog, who know nothing about you.
    Don't blame yourself hon. You saw his advances but am sure you didn't know he will actually go as far as raping you.
    Just go for medical check up. Depending on your relatnshp with your mum, you should tell her and hear what she thinks. You deserve a big "I am Sorry" and hug.

    1. YEA she was raped BUT! IT COULD have been avoidable!! I mean, you have a wild dog at home and he tried to bite you once, tell me will you go near it again ??? will you be in the same area with the dog ?? i feel sorry for her BUTTT! it could have been avoidable ..just saying

    2. For goodness sake we don't know all the details,she was raped. Do u know some people live with guilt for unavoidable circumstances what she needs is just kind words for goodness sake. We all make mistakes instead of running her down help her out u might need a kind word from someone. I have been there wirh the guilt so don't think I don't know what am saying. Is it when she does something dreadful that we will blame her even more? She has opened up for advice not to be humiliated if u don't have a kind word pls move on. She maybe going thru depression! Haven't we all been in situations we wished we had acted differently?

  7. Please help me understand, what exactly is a "financial helper"?

  8. dis is just nt ryt,wen did we start passing judgemnt I.n dis holier dan thou attitude.dear poster,sori u went thru wt u wnt thru,rape is just an evil thing.go 4 check up,talk to u mum no mata wat.dat man needs to be castrated.*big hug*

    1. You're so right Steffi. People can be so judgemental. If you have not walked in someone's shoes then please don't judge. Besides I understand why she didn't scream out of respect for his wife and marriage. Poster sorry you had to go through this. Don't give up on God just yet. All these things are trials and temptations, just stay strong and continue to do the right thing. Help will come your way soon.

  9. To those who are judging me, you will never know how it feels because your not in my shoes. And if u asked me why I didn't shout, I saw something in that family have never seen easy where even in my home. I couldn't just break anyone hurt even if what he did to me was total wrong. He actually helped me more than i expected! But is that prize I get from all that happen? Am depressed, confused, sad, can't sleep at nite. What a world. Poster

    1. Dear poster, its a pity u had to go thru what u did,but pls do not give up hope it gets betta,I am not a spiritual person but in my depression I was adviced to turn to God and believe me it was and is still the best advice I got, he is the only one that can help u in your endeavor put ur trust in him,a few yrs ago I wont have said this put I got to the point where I considered s lot of things, I learnt neva to let anyone decide if ur going to be happy or not that's giving too much power to the person

    2. Humans are judgmental. That's the way we are wired. What happened is quite common actually. Most people don't give anything for free. Even men sleep with other men to get something in return. Learn from it. You didn't expect it from that person. It will teach you how not to treat people. And to help others because you can not because you expect something in return. God has shown you his character and he shouldn't be trusted. Don't despair. There are some good people in the world. Who will light your path on the darkest of days. Chin up babe. We've been there and we survived it. Keep him at arms length. Most men are like that though. Brace yourself.

  10. most men?? hmm what sort of men do you surround yourself with miss ?

  11. Don't mind madam "most men". And to think she doesn't condone judging.


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