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Dirty Laundry Anyone?





It seems everybody has got dirty laundry. Last night I heard a really tricky one on the Love Lounge. A lady sent in a mail, she's married with kids, she and hubby both work but it's hubby that pays the house rent. And unknown to hubby the house belongs to her. 

As I tried to process this several thoughts raced through my head. Thoughts like how did it happen that the house you and hubby rented happened to be yours, why did you never say anything or was it your plan from the onset, how would you now open your mouth after all these years and say "Errr, hunny... I'm your landlord and all the rent you've been paying has been entering my pocket" ?

In my mind it was a bit confusing and amusing till I took a closer look at Dr Lanre Olusola and Mr Soriyan and from the expression on their faces I knew that this was no minor issue. Just by looking at him, I could see that Dr Lanre put himself in the husband's shoes and struggled with so many emotions; hurt, pain, disappointment, humiliation, anger and betrayal. And then he kept mumbling that the woman needs redemption. She needs redemption.... And then a thought occurred to him; if the husband is not very bouyant and has had to struggle or borrow to pay the rent.... ah! This is not a small issue o! When he finally got over the initial shock he advised that the woman find ways to redeem herself. She must come before him and say "yes, it's my house and I've been collecting rent from you, but this and this is what I've used the rent to do", basically the woman must have been investing all the rent and must have evidence that she has saved or invested all the rent for the family, she should say "here, these are the documents for the (shares) I bought, I invested the money for us". 

The show ended there, in fact this wasn't part of the show as during this time the credits were already rolling and the voices had become whispers, I had to go closer to the TV to see and hear everything. 

It finally ended where he said the woman should have evidence that she invested the money for the family. So I was wondered, failing that, how does such a woman proceed? What do you think should happen in this kind of circumstance? Is there any justification or rationality behind a wife secretly owning the house her family lives in and collecting the rent and putting it into her own pocket?

Do I have any dirty laundry to share?....

When your life is as boring as mine you practically have none, the only thing that comes to mind is when I was in a serious relationship with some guy some years back and he said he was ready to settle down. He took me home to meet his siblings (he's the last child) and one of his much older cousins was there. I'd also dated his cousin too and well, it was a messy situation, because I was still sort of involved with this his older cousin. I was confused and didn't know if I should just come clean. Some friends said come clean, most others said Don't! He was tall (6.4"), dark, handsome, successful and born into wealth and I remember a friend asking where I intended to find another guy like that. I was scared because I knew his cousin whom I'd dated will blab about us but my friends (the ones that were aware of this) said "Nwando it's your word against he's. if he should talk DENY IT!". I desperately wanted to come clean but ended up not talking, not because I wanted to deceive him but because he's a very conservative person and I didn't know how he would take the fact that I dated that particular man, and had not completely disengaged myself from him although we were now dating. Eventually the relationship ended for other reasons so I never had to talk, thankfully! 

That's the only dirty laundry I think I've ever had. What's your dirty laundry?

Comments

  1. It would be better if she had secret property she was collecting the rent from, but not from her own husband. Some women can be so deep.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ghen Ghen...
    Singing "T is a badt gurl, e ya e ya o"!
    Glad ur outta that Mess! Phewwww

    Mine? It's Rated 21 oh... Graphic Images!!!

    I dated this super CUTE guy in year 3 when I & Le boo broke up then. This boy was the cutest thing after Morris Chestnut. And after 3wks of dating, we were making out one day & it was Heavenly! It was time & the guy brought out his D, (abi na "i" I go call am), it was the size of 1/4 of my pinky finger. *sobbing* I kid U not. I had seen only one live D prior to then so I thought the guy still had more hidden somewhere! I was wrong, *now crying*
    What was particularly sad was that he came with just a lil hand job even before taking off my trousers. *Now wailing uncontrollably*
    The END of that fling! He still had Girls crawling at his feet oh!!! (Baggage ni)

    2days later Le boo came begging & I told him to spill his dirty laundry, he mentioned all his conquest during our break. Super man tinz!
    I mentioned this guy & told Le boo the guy had the Hugest biggest D ever, & we had countless sex! Le boo was furious! I didn't know if I should be sad or happy.
    Lies! Lies!! Lies!!! ROTFL

    Thank God for Jesus!!!

    Enjoy ur Tuesday Everyone. Hugs & kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, oh dear Ruth! I'm sure Thelma didn't know they were related.

      Delete
  3. The only salvation for that woman, especially if her hubby struggled to pay the rent, is to have bought the house in their names or that of their child. Investments in their name, constant and willing contribution to home expenses/children education.

    But then you wonder what her motive was and what type of man her hubby was for her to keep it a secret?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Exactly oh Enjay. It's amazing the hubby didn't know or suspect after how many years of marriage...

    But the woman should tell the Truth. It's a marriage NOT a relationship. It's forever or maybe not to her!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh...wow...meehn.. Liver, where art thou?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Many women these days like to have properties in their own name that their husbands don't know about, because some men are unpredictable. I've heard of a similar story and it almost ended the marriage, the couple had to go for counseling.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wish we knew the full story. In as much as the woman's action seems inexcusable, we do not know what informed her decision. Is the husband a polygamist? What prior experience had the woman gone through to make her decide as such? etc.....

    This is besides the point but I wonder if all hell would break loose as it will be in this case if the husband eventually finds out, if the table were to turn (i.e. what would happen if it was the husband that had a property and hid it from the wife while the wife contributed financially to home keeping?)

    Meanwhile, my life as well is too boring and I am too outspoken to have a dirty laundry worth 'airing' here. I've had dirty laundries which I never kept secret.
    -F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's not start the war of the sexes, no need turning the table around. I am all for people doing whatever suits their situations but having a spouse pay rent for a house built by the other spouse and without knowing about the ownership of the house is not just wicked but also dangerous.
      It is still 2014 and Nigeria is not like the US yet, so cultures and traditions plays a great role in how families are managed. Attempting to live without consideration for these cultures can only lead to disaster.

      Delete
  8. i do have dirty laundries, stuff i have kept bottled up for years. Sometimes when i think about them it's like that was a whole different person. it's quite unfortunate we do not have accessible therapists here in naija. sometimes i just want to sit and talk with someone who won't judge me.

    At age 8 or 9 thereabout, my dad's 'boyboy' would come upstairs from the BQ when no one is home, and they would press my very flat chest and insert their fingers into me, it progressed to me starting to have sex with one of them, then when he left, it was the gate man. At 12, i went off to boarding school, all girls school, then i decided to fight it, i stayed away from boys, but the urge was so much so resorted to masturbation, that kept me going till age 18, i got into uni and there were boys everywhere, i decided to stick to one, i feared i may be promiscous, i just wanted one boyfriend that would become my husband. Unfortunately, i was very naive and too scared so i ended up in the wrong hands. Mum was always shouting you will get pregnant if you let a boy touch you, and that exactly happened, i got pregnant at 18 and had an abortion, i took some pills, i'm lucky i didn't die, my mum found out i was really sick and took me to hospital. Now, 12 years later, i'm a single mum. yeah i got pregnant again for another guy about 5 years later, a guy i dated for 4years but it just didn't work out somehow. My life has been one mess after the other, just so many dirty messed up laundries. I really need Jesus

    i don't know why i'm writing this, sorry for the long epistle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're writing this because airing the dirty laundry sometimes clears out the cobwebs in our heads and makes us feel lighter. You're 30 and that's old enough to realize your mistakes and do something about them and young enough to start all over. The mistakes of our past should not define our future. And from all that mess God gave you something beautiful; your 4 year old. I actually envy you for that. In spite of all the dirty laundry just be a mother your child would be proud to have.

      Delete
    2. Listen up, your life is not a mess and your story is not the worst I have read or heard. A bend in the road is not the end of the road; what are you doing to turn things around? Are you working and can feed your child and yourself? Do you have accommodation?

      Do not give up so you don't mess up two lives..

      Delete
    3. I pray you find God. He's right there. Just speak to him and be lifted from the shackles of the past. Please, it's all in the past, look ahead. You can make it. Trust that God forgives and has better things in store for you and your child. Just be determined.

      Delete
    4. I pray you find God. He's right there. Just speak to him and be lifted from the shackles of the past. Please, it's all in the past, look ahead. You can make it. Trust that God forgives and has better things in store for you and your child. Just be determined.

      Delete
    5. I'm working now, i live with my parents, her father keeps in touch, i've healed over the years, trying to do better for myself and for her. Just a few challenges, parents want me to move on and quickly get married, there is the fear that i would go off and get pregnant again for another man, but i don't wanna rush into marriage, i don't know if i believe in it anymore. There's also the challenge of her father who keeps making cases here and there, he's one trouble maker. Aside that, i have a beautiful family and i thank God i'm doing the best i can.

      It feels good to share, thank you.

      Delete
  9. I hope my comment goes thru this time cos I've almost given up on commenting here.

    Now to the land lady story,its deep but I can truly not blame her. Some men I've heard about get intimidated by the wealth/success of a woman.what if she bought the property before her marriage? How many men today marry women who have landed properties and they have none?
    As long as the whole arrangement is working against her,then she can and shld carry on till she feels she need to 'fess up (even though it aint a sin commited)
    If the house wasn't hers,wldnt he struggle to pay the rent to another landlord/lady either ways? When a man pays bills,it makes him more focused and responsible. If he want to quit paying rent then he shld double his efforts and own his own property.

    If I'm the lady and I did some dirty runz to buy that house,omo no hubby of mine wld live in it free o...shikena!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Not sure I have any dirty laundry, my life is an open book; probably why I get into trouble a bit.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Im very very bored! I just completed university and im sitting home everday..I have nothing to do except go to d gym which is becoming very boring..I dont hav any friends to talk to so im kind of a loner..my bf is in a foreign land and is actin really strange these days..im almost sure its over..I cant wait to start my national service in October at least I wont be this bored..I need friends!!! *hmmmmmmm* long sigh
    From:lonely in accra, ghana...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooops...wrong post

      Delete

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