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Midnight Blues. (Dear Blog Reader; F...)





It's 2am and I'm in bed wide eyed. I need to get away, Lord I need to get away. I need a break, I need a friend, I need a vacation, I need a break Lord! I'm tired. And I need a friend. Damn somebody please pull me out before I'm completely submerged in a flood of my own thoughts. One minute I'm happy and hopeful, I'm full of enthusiasm and optimism, the next I'm sitting still watching the hope shatter right before me, trying hard to grasp even a wisp of a the fabric of the hope of a few minutes ago. I reach for it but like air it slides through my fingers and then it all accumulates right in the centre of my throat forming a big tight knot, threatening to thrust me into a deluge of my tears. But alas this girl is not going to cry

The next minute I smiled again, and not only because I promised not to cry but because once again I was happy and hopeful. Yes people it's a freak show in my head, think what you may; my mind's a roller coaster of feelings and emotions and I don't even care to fight it or know why. So once again it was happiness and hope.... up until the moment I read F's comment in the heartbreak  post. And then like a pack of cards the bricks of hope I'd so stealthily built came crashing down to the floor. F! Dear me. Is it ok to cry? F my sister it was only a few minutes ago I said the devil will not have the pleasure of seeing my tears anymore but I read your comment and.... 
       I pray for you F. I pray that some day, soon, hopefully, you will find happiness. Happiness true, pure and complete, happiness so overwhelming that it would erase the sour memories of the past and compensate for all the pain. Happiness that would make all that pain worth it. I pray for you that all the moments of joy and laughter that were stolen from you will find you and envelope you in joy a thousand times more. And I pray that someday when the time is right, not a minute before, not a minute after, when the time is right; you will find love and love will find you. 
      My fingers have been itching to say "sorry about all you went through", but I don't think that will suffice. I cannot begin to imagine it, I just can't. But I find comfort in believing that one day you will know love, joy and peace so divine. The kind that no man or woman can tamper with or take away from you. 
       And your broken heart... I pray it heals, mends, becomes strong and whole again. 


Somehow in spite of everything you've been through you are still such an incredibly strong person. F, God will heal your broken heart. 




*and also the hearts of all who are hurting. 
Amen. 



Comments

  1. God bless your kind words to Lady F, wanted to drop a comment on the heabreak post before I read this. LadyF, words cant express how I feel this morning, but my prayers are for you. Hold thy faith, you don't have to worry, He(God) will help you get through. If indeed you love that man,make him see that you are on the Process of getting a divorce, don't blink for a second if he doesn't see things your way either(it can't get any worse,it will only get better) You deserve to be loved. I wish I could link you to my relative with same experience, today she is happy again and her kids are spoilt silly by her cute wealthy husband. God will fix you.......good morning y'all

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was speechless after reading her comment. There were no right words to convey my feelings. F dear, I could only pray that God should fill your heart with overflowing joy and your mouth with unending laughter. May God who sees the end from the beginning make your life beautiful and give to you far beyond your expectations in Jesus name.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear F,I salute ur courage ans how strong you are.may God answer your silent prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Questions for F if she would answer.
    - Are the children taken care of?
    - Is she working or getting support from the children's father?
    - Is she abroad or in Nigeria?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. -Yes, the children are well taken care.
      - Yes, I work (I have lamented a couple of times about my job here....lol). Support from the children's father? Practically non-existent (a case of 'she was the one who left with her children, let her bear the burden alone')
      - I am in Nigeria.
      -F

      Delete
    2. ****well taken care of
      -F

      Delete
    3. Glad to know the children are well taken care of. Please get your brother or a friend to play the father figure till you get hooked again.
      I really feel for you, may God give you strength beyond your imagination. Your children will do well by the grace of God and they will add to your joy as you move along.

      Delete
  5. Dear F, I read your story and I was at a loss for words. That you went through that and you are still standing shows a depth of strength that can only be divine. Today and always, I pray that the Good Lord in His infinite mercies would bless you beyond measure.

    ReplyDelete
  6. To F, I pray God directs your path, continues to strengthen you and give you peace and happiness. God will be with you and kid(s) in all ways and at all times, Amen.
    And all others going through trying times in different situations, I pray each one finds peace, fulfillment and joy, Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  7. To F, I pray God directs your path, continues to strengthen you and give you peace and happiness. God will be with you and kid(s) in all ways and at all times, Amen.
    And all others going through trying times in different situations, I pray each one finds peace, fulfillment and joy, Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Awwwwww......Thelma and the family.........I am sorry I have no words for how you make me feel; just tears. All I can say is I am grateful to you all.

    A couple of times, I'd wanted to write about it but each time, I would erase what I'd typed thinking that I didn't want to spoil somebody's mood or destroy someone's hope of having a happy marriage. Also, I had the issue of writing without giving away too much details (the man involved is not so private).

    Honestly, I do not know where the strength comes from. For a girl who lost her father at age 2 and who grew up struggling and living at the lowest rung of societal ladder, I consider myself a fighter, a survivor and as I always say, this too shall pass and joy shall come in the morning.

    Thank you everyone, God bless you.
    -F

    ReplyDelete
  9. Come here F, #hugsyou. Like you said, this too shall pass dear and you will have a sweet tale to tell in the future. May God be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. F oh, My newest Strength Role Model after T...
    I Love babe & I mean it...

    ReplyDelete
  11. It is well F, don't worry be happy, God is dere for you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. To F my prayer for u; in all misfortune may it be as u said "this too shall pass" and may the passing herald a joy beyond measure.

    ReplyDelete

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