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My Best And Worst First Dates Ever!

I just wriggled my way out of a first date and having nothing else to do with myself this evening besides watch reruns of 2 Broke Girls I'm going to share with you guys my best and worst first dates ever. 

My Best First Date:
This was with *Nnamdi. The first time we were to go on a date he got called in for work and thus had to cancel. On the next day/date just after I'd gone to take a bath and get ready to primp he called my phone to say that he had to work again and wouldn't be able to make it. I told him I understood but made a mental note to delete his number and ignore his calls. Just as I was deleting his number my door bell rang and I heard my sister go open the door. I heard a deep baritone voice and a minute later my sister said one 'hunk' was looking for me at the door. The date started in my house. He actually brought a bouquet of red roses to apologize for the previous day. And what was more, he came with his guitar and while I sat on the sofa taking in the scent of the fresh roses, he sat on the floor at my feet and serenaded me with music for a few minutes. It was a bit too cheesy and I was a bit embarrassed as my sister walked in on us as had an *SMH* *WTF* *RME* on her face, but it was the sweetest thing ever! When that was done we did go out. First to the movies and then for dinner at Bungalow and lastly we went to the waterside on Queen's drive at Ikoyi where we spent hours drinking red wine, sharing secrets, sharing kisses, making plans, making promises and making sweet music together; he played the guitar, I sang. It was the start of many beautiful dates to come. 

My Worst First Date. 
So this Uzo guy that had been on my case for a while finally got me to agree to a date. This was in Enugu, he claimed he had just come into town from Lagos for work. BTW Uzo is his real name and if you're offended by that BITE ME. If I knew more about him like his surname and other details I would include them here too. 
      Anyways he came to pick me up and we went to City Centre (Flavour was still the in house musician then, this was before he 'blew'). Shortly after, his friend came to join us and I can't remember if we talked much but at about 10pm I told him I had to get going and finally, some minutes after 11 he agreed to leave but pleaded that his friend's car broke down somewhere and we had to get to it first. He promised it won't take time. He drove the opposite direction from Campus towards Independence Layout. We got to the car, his friend took what he wanted from it and locked it up. However, instead of turning back to drop me off in the opposite direction he kept on driving down further into Independence Layout. 
       This was years back before Sullivan brought civilization to the town so it mas mostly bushes and darkness. I pleaded with Uzo to take me back to school but he played deaf, raising the volume to the loudest and speeding like the devil was on his back. It got to a point that I didn't even know where I was anymore. He took a right turn into an untarred road with only bushes around us and drove further down and then we saw a building. He parked the car outside and asked me to get down and get inside the house. His friend also came out of the car and went in. At this point it was almost 12am. I insisted I wasn't going in and Uzo didn't argue but dragged me out of the car and left me there on the road. He went in with his friend and asked the gateman to lock the gate. I made some calls asking someone to come and get me but I had no idea where I was, so it was really no use. As I stood in this darkness I heard growling behind me and I saw about three or four dogs come out of the bush, I ran to the gate and started pounding on it and the gateman opened up and let me in. The place turned out to be something like a hostel. I went into the dimly lit building and saw his friend who was apparently married. I begged the wife to let me use their toilet and she agreed. Inside I tried explaining what had happened and begged her to help me but she immediately asked me to leave saying there was nothing she could do. Uzo came back and asked me to go into his room as I had no other choice but I refused and he left me once again. I walked round the hostel wondering what to do and for the first time in my life I saw rats as big as cats. They were like bush meat (well it's only apt considering the building was in the middle of the bush). I was scared, tired and confused. 
      The gateman, a man of over 70 years noticed what was going on. He called me and dragged a Ghana-Must-Go bag from underneath the stairs (about 15 monster rats jumped out of it) and pulled out some smelly old clothes that had been abandoned by tenants. With this he made me a makeshift bed beside him on the corridor where we both slept. At some point I felt something tickle my nose and woke up to see that a rat was trying to kiss me and it was it's whiskers that had brushed my nose. He scampered away the minute I jumped in a start. I started crying. Papa told me I had to use the clothes to cover my body and I thought I would die! The clothes were covered in rat dropping, however it turned out I had no choice. I was wearing shorts and a tank top. 
       At some point in the night (I didn't sleep after the near make-out session with the rat), I heard footsteps and on seeing Uzo, I immediately shut my eyes pretending to be asleep. He stood before me flashing his torchlight directly on my face. I kept my eyes closed and tried to stay calm, papa lay a few inches away from me. After Uzo hovered over me, obviously trying to take in the fact that I would rather sleep on the cold floor on the corridor, beside the stairs, with bush rats and rodents and a crippled old man, he took some steps back and walked away. 
       Morning came and I had planned to deflate his tires and smash his windscreen before leaving but unfortunately his neighbours were already up and about. Papa took me into a bush and showed me how to get to the main road. I had to follow a path and walk for over 10 minutes before I saw a road and took a bike back to school. Till date I never knew how to get back to that place. I never heard from Uzo again. 

Sorry for the Epistle jare. 
Share your best and worst first date stories with me. I'm waiting!


  1. Thelma ur eyes don see best date was with a friend of mine Philips damilola ....he is sweet and handsome at the same time....every moment was worth spent....worst date was with tolu ode##########...went to visit him then and guess what while we were busy making out,he dnt even last 3mins before he just added u to my prayer point oh...good hubby to wash away all the pains u went through...that naughty house wife

    1. My dear my eyes don see. Tori never finish o! I have plenty to write but close friends say I shouldn't, or I should write them as someone else's stories because somethings are not what someone should open their mouth and say this and this happened to me. Oh well, for now I'll just write the ones that aren't too shocking.
      Thanks for the prayers TNHW.

    2. Thelma that means this isn't actually ur worst....mayb u should list ur 5 worst den

    3. I'm not saying Tolu did right in cumming within 3mins(wch to me isn't bad 4 a 1st-round), but to think dat how long Tolu went in bed was wat U're using to judge a date? And on a first date u're already in bed? Haba... Lol! Anonymous T.

  2. Lol @ near make-out session with the rat. The last time I saw rats that fit your description was at Ibadan. *yummy then, yurk now*. Thank goodness you came out of that experience in one piece. Some guys are just...satanic

  3. hmm...u do know u wld be a great entertainer in future? u have enough tales to fill up idle/bored times with kids/grand kids.
    I can truly imagine ur experience back then...but whatever happened to *Nnamdi?

  4. That Uzo is a big fool o. T u were just lucky, imagine. It's bad bad to spend late hours with pple u don't knw o. Date or no date. If it's a first date, 7pm or. At most 8pm u waka. Till u get to knw d person, even now that one is a full grown adult. Some human beings are evil.

  5. My best date was with a guy who though some circumstances wnt let us be is one of my solid friends.. we enjoy each others company so much n we just recently started doing biz together,, Worst date ever, i visited dis guy in his house dat was d 2nd time i was going there. It was his family house n his parents were arnd... I was quite young bt a lil wise then had just entered uni n all... he offered me drinks which i rejected *he ddnt open them in front of me* he got angry n then told me dat he had dreamt dat i was cheatn on him n his dreams r usually true n my nt taking d drink was an indication. I argued wit him dat his dreams werent true n i wasnt thirsty, he started scolding me loudly n then asked me to strip... i was like what? He knew i was a virgin n he had agreed to keep things dat way.... Well omo guy wasnt kidding, he started struggln wit my clothes n before i knew it my top was off, i ran to his kitchen n grabbed a knife threatening to stab myself n all, the guy just laughed n told me dat he had stabbed his ex cos she annoyed him n paid for her treatment so my case was 'beans'... i became terrified. All ds while we were screaming n i even louder so his parents cld intervene bt mehn i was so on my own... i started prayn while tryn to ward him off then d spirt of God ministered something to me... he once told me abt his late elder bro who was his model n all, the day he told me abt d way d guy died, he cried all thru.... So i just asked him 'if ur brother was here, wld he support wat u want to do?' Dats was it oo, d guy broke down n started cryn. Tears don finish for my own eyes by then, i just jejely wore back my top, begged him to open d door n jetted off. Pple of God do u knw dat his mom was outside n had d nerve to ask if i was going? Dnt knw wat to think of her sef. Well dat experience taught me all d lessons i need to learn. I registered wit a Karate club, m a brown belter now. Dis yr, was stunned to see d guy on my street, d once we had a lil chat.. he kept stalkn.. after he said all he had to, he said i looked prettier n dat if he had knwn then he wnt v let me go, i just smiled @ him n kept silent... wat he doesnt knw is dat he has bn my training focal point for all ds 10yrs... I rest my case here

    1. The guy must be an animal.

    2. lolz...u do know know that u need to test out ur brown belt on him?

    3. The guy didn't surprise me, it's the mum that did. Except his room was sound-proof

    4. @sasha- I wont provoke him, i will only react if he provokes me. he now lives on my street so we often run into each other. So far so good, he has bn respecting himself... if u see us chattn, u wont blive such a thing ever happened. It left a scar in my heart n i hv forgiven him bt i dnt buy his good/responsible man shit m still wary arnd him @memphis- Yeah d mother surprised me too... i never believed such a thing will happen wen a parent is arnd na n no d room wasnt sound-proof.

  6. worst first date... Was actually a double date wif dis guy Uduak nd he ordered #500 suya with malt... Meehn i fitn't shout. HOPE

  7. The Anons on this blog are so funny. Lol. Nwando sorry for that incident o! Painful shit. That boy's karma is chilling for him.
    My Best Date: None, really, none. I haven't been on an extraordinary date before. It's always the same, go out and have dinner or lunch, or go out and drink Baileys.
    My worst date: Ha! With this guy that I loved so much. He told me that our relationship is casted on stone. Casted on stone, his exact words. And I melted like butter. Only for him to tell me he couldn't be serious with me because he doesn't think am a good girl after 2wks of that date.
    Whenever I think of that date, I shudder, my heart breaks again and again. Because I so wanted him to love me, I wanted it to be true. I wish I never went on that date, and never heard doz words.

  8. Your best date was so beautiful, I've actually never received flowers my entire life. As for your worst date thank God you came out of that experience alive and well. I have never had a good date, I am yet to go for one.

    1. If you're ready for one, I'm totally interested in one! Anonymous T.

    2. Lol, but you are anonymous, show yourself

  9. Wow Wow Wow! that was some worst date you had there o! Thank God you survived it. Some guys are really callous!!! Reminds me of some experience I had in Enugu as well. SMH!!! It is well. As for best dates, can't think of any exceptional ones atm. worst? same thing, I have had bad dates but don't think any comes close to your experiences Thelma, so ama just shut it up.

  10. Well my best date was with a girl named Cynthia, I met her at a party and we chatted a bit and exchanged numbers. After that I called but she was very cold and distant so I decided to bone. That's how one Sunday she tweeted that she was bored and I replied her tweet asking if she wanted to see a movie, she said yes and I asked what time would be convenient for her, she said "now!!". O laughed and went to pick her up
    So we went to the palms and saw a movie, can't remember which one but it was a very good comedy and we laughed hard, after that I asked if she wanted to do karaoke and she said ok, so we went to see bar. We had so much fun, talked a lot, sang a few songs and had a few drinks. Then I took her home and we stayed inside the car talking for over and hour, then she kissed me and told me how much fun she had and thats how we saw each other every day for the next few months . My worst date is anyone with a girl that doesn't have a sense of humor or isn't smart.

  11. Hmmm my worst first date, don't even know if to call it a date,this guy we were in d same uni though we hadn't seen,we used to chat on bbm. The day before he invited me to the cinema for a movie to start by 1,the next morning by 8 he called to say the movie was now by 11.Mind u I was going to yaba 4rm ikorodu a journey of at least 2hrs. I got to the cinema by past 11 the guy now sed he couldn't wait for me,that the movie had started and that he wud see me afterwards,he couldn't even come out to lead me to the hall,wanted to go home at that point bt my journey cannot waste so I watched anoda movie,afterwards I saw him,he didn't even apologize,spent lyk 10mins with him and told him I wanted to go home,he was now asking me wot was d rush *clueless much* just wanted to satisfy my curiousity by seeing him,he wasn't hot stuff anyway and after that day let's just say that was the end.
    My best first date is my current love interest *lool*. We had been talking on bbm for a while,so wen he called me that he was in lagos wasn't expecting much but it was awesome,we just talked and had lunch after wich he paid for my cab home.I just fell for his personality and he is such a great conversationist,we talked for hours and I almost didn't want it to end :D,sorry for d epistle.

  12. wow!! u sure do have stories thelma.. no best dates no first dates..

  13. One guy I was considering going out with after over one year of consistent pleas to go on a date with me. He was supposed to pick me up from the airport but he couldn't because of traffic so I took a cab to meet him up and after exchanging pleasantries and all, guy just drove me to one nice bar where five of his friends were waiting, strike one. The so-called friends looked younger than him and acted so, strike two. One of them got so drunk that he started jogging on a spot, strike three. The main guy talked most and it was mostly about school - they all attended Bowen Uni, when I asked him if some of them just graduated, he said no, the last person that graduated was over 2 years ago, that there was no time they were together that they didn't talk about school, strike four. He wouldn't stop trying to kiss my ears at intervals, strike five. Strike six, he offered to see me off to the ladies when my own plan was to go and exhale from all the mushy-mushy that they were doing.
    I don't remember any special date right now or perhaps, there has been none.
    Sorry about your worst date ordeal, Thelma.

  14. Best Date: was with a dear friend whom i couldnt date back then in University, he was a nice nice chap, but I wasn't attracted to him, he went all out to make the day very special.

    Worst date: my useless ex-boo, after a nice home made lunch, i stepped out briefly from his house to pick an item not to far off, i tot i'd be delayed by 20mins and called to inform the fool, apparently all the while i was with him, he had a side chic hiding somewhere in his house (its a big house), I returned earlier than expected and found the chimpanzee banging the HO in the kitchen, the same kitchen where he prepared a sumptuous meal of chicken breast and vegetables.

    He didnt even hear me walk in, I was just too shocked to talk, I had told him no sex in our relationship until we got to knw each other well, we had been together for 3 months.

    He later saw me when i banged the door on my way out. He pleaded that he was really pressed for sex and really wanted us to work out.
    My fellow friends, I dumped him fast.

  15. Anon 2:24, U made the right decision. Kudos!

    T, am literally swooning at ur Best date. Sorry about ur worst *though I have a feeling it ain't the Worst*

    As for me, am just thinking about it now
    NO Best dates at all. None. I need me some Nnamdi asap.

    Worst date was my 1st ever date ever. I Was 18, in Year 1. Saw this guy I liked & went out with him a week later. After movies & clubbing, we were going back to school cos he had to drop me off & go crash with his buddy. He branched by his family house to pick up weekly allowee & play station according to him.
    I followed him in, jolly good fellow, LOL. Right in the sitting room, he grabbed me. Mehn, na skirt I wear oh but I fought with my life. A whole virgin, ha! I really punched & kicked the asshole *na lekpa boy*. My top tore, I ran out. Opened his car while screaming so their neighbors heard. Grabbed my bag & HIS money for my TP of course. He was in final year in Futo.
    We never talked nor saw till date. IDIAT!!!

  16. Lol Ruthy your a sharp geh. Thelma that part about the rat kissing you was just too funny, I actually laughed out loud. I can't point out any date and say, this was the best or this was the worst, I guess none has been that memorable

  17. Lol Ruthy your a sharp geh. Thelma that part about the rat kissing you was just too funny, I actually laughed out loud. I can't point out any date and say, this was the best or this was the worst, I guess none has been that memorable

  18. Can't stop laughing ! This babe u got stories for days man!!

  19. Thelma I'm sure no one here can beat ur best and worst 1st dates. I've never bin on a date b4, never received flowers b4 maybe it's cos I'm not really a romantic. So I had this date with one Yeye guy who claimed he came frm ph. Met him up cos if I don't know u ill rather meet u up b4 ill be used 4 moni( I think that way most times) so we were @ the pool side in his hotel having drinks n talkin I wanted to pee n I'm not a big fan of public toilets so I decided to use the one in his room. We went upstairs n it was a suit with like a lot of pple in it I proceeded to go n pee n wen I was done d guy was in d room n if u see d way he grabbed me en, I couldn't was so embarrassed n d guy started pressing my boobs my luck was I was wearing jeans I fought like mad n ran out wen I was free I felt so embarrassed cos I'm sure d pple in d other room heard me screaming. Wen I got home d guy even had d guts to call n ask wat was wrong. Mrs M

    1. Lol. I'm not romantic either and I ended up throwing the flowers away because I didn't know what to do with them but for that moment it was nice. Moreover the whole flowers, guitars and music turned out to be one big Oscar-deserving act!
      You went to use the toilet in his room; he probably thought you were giving him 'green light'. Oh well...

  20. My best first date was with Sunny, started in d afternoon at the spa, he had paid for a full body massage, afterwards was dress shopping for dinner later in d evening, dinner was at a lovely Chinese restaurant where he had made arrangements earlier in the day and given them my name for some funny welcome acts which was really nice, that relationship was the best i ve had, awesome guy in every way, but dude just got married to someone else, said he could not deal with the fact that i was married before n has a kid frm the marriage, oh well, i let him go.


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