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Praying My Fat Away!





This isn't a poem, it's just that after what just happened my brain seems to have shifted sideways...

I tried
The insanity workout
Last night 
After looking at me
In the mirror
I said I had to do
Something. 
2 minutes in and
I said
god punish Shaun T. 
What kind of
Punishment is 
This
?
But I tried one more time
Sweat pouring 
Down my face. 
Then I stopped. 
What to do?
*sigh*
And dieting is no 
Longer as easy as
It used to 
Be. 
Insanity is obviously for
The insane. 
I'm sane. 
Then a lightbulb went up
In my head. 
Eureka!
Is there anything too difficult for The Lord?
Hahaha!
I'm going to pray my fat away.
I'll eat white bread with peanut butter 
and jelly, chocolates and 
cookies for breakfast
I'll have ice cream for brunch.
I'll have pounded yam and egusi 
For lunch. 
I'll have brownies for desert 
And wash it down with a bottle 
Of coke. 
I'll take a nap afterwards
For dinner at 9 I'll
Have fried yams and omelet 
And and toast spread with
Nutella to gauge it, then
Wash it down
With Horlicks and milk
just to ensure
That I sleep sweet and sound. 
And when I wake in the morning
I'll do it all over again. 
And I'll have nothing
To worry about,
I'll simply 
Pray my fat away!
.....
Ok, I'm done dreaming
Tomorrow I'll repeat 
Insanity workout 
Day 1 
Again
I'll do it for as long as
I need to
Till I can do it without 
Falling flat on my
Face and refusing 
to get up. 
But even while
I do that,
Maybe.... just in case 
You know,
Because I do believe 
In miracles,
There's one thing 
Won't give up on,
I'll still
Pray my fat away. 
Just in case...


Seriously guys this isn't a bad idea, is it?
My fellow orobos what say you? Let's join hands and agree together that our fat mysteriously and miraculously melt away. Amen. 

Comments

  1. Lol. Biko while you are at it, pray some fat into my life. And don't kill yourself working out ooo. We still need you on the blog. Take it easy, dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes o! @pray some fat into my life. Some of us want a little of it

      Delete
    2. Yes o! @pray some fat into my life. Some of us want a little of it

      Delete
    3. Yes o! @pray some fat into my life. Some of us want a little of it

      Delete
    4. Kai see life! While we try 2 pray em away others r begging 4 it! Wish we cld do fat VTU. I for dash u as much as u want!

      Delete
  2. If wishes were horses.......
    Please do not relent. The results are worth the sacrifices.
    More strength and perseverance to you....
    -F

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol, this had me laughing, keep on going at it and in no time it will no longer feel like a struggle. All the best Thelma I know you will achieve your ideal weight.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are joking right?
    May God Give u d strength to continue the exercise so that you will be sepesepe figure 8

    ReplyDelete
  5. Am not fat. Actually my BMI says I am healthy. I weigh 70kg and I am 5"11 . But I am not as slim as I want to be. It's a mental thing I guess. I want to be thin so badly that I do extreme things. It's me that needs to pray away my mental sickness. Something in my head keeps telling me I am fat, yet I am not. Is there any1 who has the problem? Is this a symptom of anorexia?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's actually a mental thing and what it is you do because of it is the disorder.
      I've been like that since I was 16.
      Like you, at the time, I weighed 70 kg and wanted to be thin so badly.
      I am 5'7.
      I began to eat and throw up and occasionally starve.
      People'd see me and scream, asking if I was sick.
      When I started weighing 50kg and people had to start talking to my mum about me, in my head, I felt I had been my prettiest at the time #smh.
      I have been bulimic till this day- I'm actually embarrassed to admit it- I'm even pregnant yet when I feel I've over- eaten, sort of, I go and induce it.
      I've read tons about every type of eating disorder, I have an indept knowledge of all the hazards of constantly inducing throwing up but, it's kinda like a habit.
      I've been known to indulge in self destructive tendencies tho but...... I really think I can stop at any point sha......
      I weigh about 79 kg now, I no longer fret with my weight as much tho- I think I'm at a place where I'm quite comfortable in my skin even tho I'm not skinny.
      So, there, it may just well be mental.....
      Anorexia is when you aren't eating at all and having that constant nudge that you are fat is actually one of the symptoms.
      I had to go anonymous for this, lol, I won't be surprised if someone decodes me.....

      Delete
  6. LOL... T if I enter lagos for U ehn, na 40kg u go weigh oh. Na cane I go use flog ur mouth *no more food* & ur leg *u must work out*
    Thanks for making me laugh biko!

    But hey, Pray for strength. I know u can do it but don't over force please, like Enjay said, we still need u plenty!

    ReplyDelete
  7. That insanity workout is really for the insane. I tried it once but unfortunately I tried it when I was in my first trimester, after d ordeal it felt like der was a war going on inside my stomach I dumped the cd fast I'm still scared of doing it again. My exercise of preference is jogging cos it works d whole body and it also gives me some alone time to think and make important decisions.

    Thelma if this prayer works pls do not hesitate to let us know, who wants to sweat and have aches just to fit into hot dresses when we can pray d flabs away?

    ReplyDelete
  8. it's really not about working out..80%-90% is what you eat than working out..sometimes all you need is 1 hr power walk or 2 hours stroll. if you can, have just lots of water and green tea..cut white carbs, eat little whole wheat and lots of protein (not fried, low sodium) and vegetable with fibre.. you will see major difference in 2 weeks..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lots of water does help

    ReplyDelete

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