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Same Difference? (On Sleeping Your Way To The Top and Doing It For Love)

Last week Bella Naija put up a post about an interview Lana Del Ray did where she hinted at sleeping with several guys in the industry to get to the top. The way BN couched the words suggested that she indeed slept with a ton of guys to get to the top although in actuality what Lana Del Ray meant was that although she indeed was very 'generous' with her body it didn't necessary lift her up the ladder of success. 

An argument ensued in the comment section. Some were of the opinion that the only sure way to success is hardwork. Others begged to differ. A few were of the opinion that what constitutes 'Hardwork' varies as the word happens to be subjective. One comment however gave me pause:

"If you have an opportunity to sleep your way to the top, do it! Afterall whats the difference between that and sleeping with your boyfriend who is not your husband, and still remain at the bottom?"
Just a few weeks back, an acquaintance who had slaved away in a bank for years recently joined one of the federal government parastatals. She openly informed her former colleagues that she had to sleep with someone 'up there' to get the job. Everyone was shocked at her brash admission and were immediately about to castigate her when she asked; how many of you here are virgins? (None). So do you think you're better than me as you sleep with your boyfriends for the fun of it but I slept with someone and got a job that you people can only fantasize about?
Everyone was quiet. 

Seriously though, is there any difference? Screwing your superiors to get ahead seems very immoral and unsavory but give it some thought; you're sleeping with your boyfriend (still doing wrong in the eyes of God btw) does it not make sense to have sex and get something out of it? (Let's assume that all parties involved are unmarried).
Is there a difference between having premarital sex for love and having sex to get ahead?
Why is one acceptable and the other frowned upon? 
Let's talk guys. 


  1. Whatever happened to human dignity? Failing honorably, anyone? Nobody need sleep with anybody to move up, people should just learn to control their greed because there is nobody beyond God's blessing.
    There is nothing in life that is worth all of our troubles and worries. This particular post actually got me frowning my face!

    1. Lol...c'est la vie

  2. Thelma please they're the same thing. People should stop forming holier than thou.

  3. If u wan chop frog chop d wan wey get belle :D. By the way thelma what's ur own take?

    1. I concour lol...if u r sleeping anyway u berra sleep with benefit #povertyisadisease

  4. Truth is i cant do it but i dont judge people that can do it or people that have done it, if you ve the mind to do it, please change your life for the better, as for me i dont ve need for it neither do i ve the liver, so live n let live.

  5. On religious level, its the same thing
    But that's how 'runs' start, next thing she's doing it for a car, then for shopping in dubia. I thought women used to say they only have sex because of love

  6. I want to earn it! Not sleep my way to the top. That is the difference. When we were in school I had a friend that sorts her way thru everythn and when we became friends she was motivated by me to read and at least earn a grade without sorting.I will never forget the day she made an A on her own. In her words"....I am so proud of myself, I can do it, J I made an A all by myself". People just want easy life that's it.No one wants to work for anything.J

  7. I can't sleep my way to the top even once biko.
    I failed 2 of my final year courses cos of this same issue!!!

    Why should I sleep with a married man to get to the top? If it's a single guy, is a sex tool all I seem to him? Where's my honor & dignity?
    *Am asleep pls*

  8. Call me amoral but I have absolutely no qualms with it.

    1. Whr ve u been?, hope you are ok, been a while i saw ur comment here.

    2. Hi dear, I'm great, been really busy but I actually always read TT.
      Most times tho, my phone and lappy just doesn't connect to my internet- it can be frustrating - it happens most weekends and so I mostly have to "catch up" on previous posts.....
      Thanks for asking love....

    3. Good to know you are ok. E-hugs

  9. hope you got the job you went for an interview for at Diary of Dido. And I missed your blog

  10. hope you got the job you went for an interview for at Diary of Dido. And I missed your blog

  11. Sex is supposed to be freely given, for pleasure. Using it as currency in a transaction cheapens it IMO.

  12. So i ask, what is the difference between a prostitute who has sex for money and a lady who sleeps with her boyfriend hoping to be married to him one day? ABSOLUTELY NONE!! Only the one wearing the shoe knows where it pinches. While I'm not encouraging the use of sex as a currency for favours, I also do not condemn those who do because life can be a bitch.

  13. If this question was asked when I was still protected from the realities of the world by my parents, I would have gone religious and moral on this. But coming to understand and face the harsh realities and survival instinct in mankind, I would not cast aspersions on anybody, because until one walks in the shoes of another, you wouldn't know their stories.

    My cousin had a target to meet in her bank. Been jobless for years, she was desparate not to lose her job.
    A customer was disturbing her for sex because he has a big account. She had sleepless nights and went to confide in an elderly staff who is her mentor. She said, the lady asked her if she was a virgin? No, she replied. Does she sleep with her BF? She said yes. Then she said, whether you sleep with one man or a thousand men before marriage, you are still guilty of committing fornication! She cried to my parents, they helped in the little way they could, and she barely scaled through. 2nd year, the same thing, but my parents could not help this time around, she feared for the worst, but help came through a coworker who was moving to meet her husband in.another state, the lady gave her some of the accounts she was managing. That was how GOD helped her.
    The business or corporate world is a dog eat dog arena! Like it is always said, when you see the glory, ask for the story behind it.
    The bible says everybody should fight for his or her own salvation with tremblings and fear, because GOD knows all our thoughts HE judges the motive behind every action we take.


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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
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After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
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electrovalent bonds....

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with a packet of durex condom.
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See how you are serious dey read this story....!


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