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The Curse of Being a Single Female Over 30.






I have found most unmarried women in their 30s to be very problematic, in the office they are prima donas, in relationships, they are manipulative, tag me whatever you can but if you are in your 30s and unmarried, a red flag goes up in my head and working together or knowing them for a period of time actually reveals they usually have ISSUES.


Someone said this in the comment section of a post on RML last year. I'm curious to know if you guys agree with this. I mean, it's a comment I would easily disregard but after an encounter I had earlier today I realized that several people feel this way about women over 30 who are yet to be married. 

Another indicator is that single men are discouraged from dating women over 30 because apparently they come with serious ISSUES and are very difficult to deal with. Moreover why not just go for someone younger and greener, someone less 'jaded'

Some weeks back on Aunt Landa's show on Inspiration fm some male callers actually expressed their reservation when the topic of dating a lady over 30 was raised. General consensus is that they come with a whole lot of baggage, would be difficult to get along with, would be a lot of 'work' and basically just have too many ISSUES. 

There's also the issue of her being very desperate, so therefore she'll be full of pretenses to ensure that she snags the ring. But the minute she does she begins to show her true colours after the wedding and turns the man's life into a living hell. Gone is the gentle, polite, sweet and soft-spoken domesticated girlfriend of yesterday..., say Hello to Mrs-you-can-go-F-yourself-now-that-we're-married!

I'm curious to know what you guys think about this... Probably because I'm likely to still be single at 30 and I would want to know what I'm up against or how I'll be perceived, probably because I think it's unfair to write someone off because things haven't happened for them at the time society presupposes or dictates that it should, probably because I'm wondering if those things said about single women over 30 are actually true..... and if that's the case will I also be just another bitter, cranky, bitchy statistic, probably because I've met some over-30 terribly unpleasant single women and I would like to know if they're just naturally that way or being single has turned them into sour lemons, or probably because I am just curious and I think this topic would be enlightening!

Is there a stigma attached to being a single woman over the age of 30?
Like the commenter above, does a red flag go up in your head when you meet an unmarried lady in her 30s?

Let's talk!

Sorry for my long silence today, it's been a weird day...unfortunately I can't promise that tomorrow would be any better. I hope your day was better than mine...

Comments


  1. Unfortunately the society is the major cause of this issue being experienced by the 30 years old and ( 30+)woman . Some do come with issues, while some dont, it all boils down to individuals.
    I got married at 30, and my hubby wasn't looking for a 25yr old to marry cos these small girls of now adays don't know wat it means to be married, it's just a competition for most of them simply bcos chioma is married at 22, Ngozi wants to beat that and get married at 20.
    At 30, most women begin to act desperate and will stop @ nothing to hook a guy, even someone below their class/level, Just Because of the baggage that goes with being unmarried.
    I really sympathize with this group. Cos at 30, my ears were full about the issue of marriage, and funny Enuf, I had so many suitors, that can't be said for most ladies though,
    I think 30 is the new 20, so ladies enjoy and hope for the best. Marriage is just an icing on the cake, if you find the right man. Clare

    ReplyDelete
  2. Honestly T, I have no opinion on this matter.
    Experience will speak with more knowledge.... (just like Clare above).
    I simply know that some women have very unpleasant character *married or single, below or above 30*

    But i'll love to learn from the next comments...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like this comment. Some people have issues, it has nothing to do with thr age.

      Delete
    2. God bless you Ruthy for. This comment. Being over 30 has absolutely nothing to do with age. I have met a lot of young girls between 22 to 27 with serious issues.

      Delete
  3. mehn..I would have thought my 31 year old friend typed this.. he said the same thing to me.. not word to word but the description is very accurate.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tee the truth is that being in your 30s, especially mid to late 30s and unmarried is not easy. Most of your mates have married and had two, three kids or more meanwhile you're probably not even in a serious relationship. It is very painful and frustrating and the frustration is what makes some women cranky and difficult. Even when they dont want to be they just cant control it. I try to understand and not to judge. Even single women in their late 20s are getting bitter, talk less of 30s.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But if ur boss is a single female that is in mid 30s and beyond then prepare yourself for misery and constant shouting and complaining. Nothing you do will never be good enough. But to be fair there are exceptions.

      Delete
  5. There are two sides to this but the truth is as ruthy said,most times age has nothing to do with issues,while some looked depressed and lonely,others are just as u said,rude and saucy with issues

    ReplyDelete
  6. A man who needed a business connection from me once told me that he thought I was in my mid forties with no marriage, no kids and embittered. Reason? He asked for my colleague's opinions of me and they said same thing: she can be very tough. Since when has being tough on the job been synonymous with being single and embittered? When he finally met me, he apologized but his belief is sadly a general thing in this society. Some people have not even had first-hand experiences with ladies in the age bracket, still they jump into the same conclusion. Sad!
    -F

    ReplyDelete
  7. A colleague is forty seven and single. He has never been married, no issues and yet no relationship presently. He had his eyes on another lady who is thirty four and we all knew, we sometimes tease them in the canteen or when we attend official outings. The lady never obliged him, she just used to smile. Until March when she brought her aso-ebi and I.V. It wasn't funny! First thing my older male colleague did was to apply for leave around the wedding period. And his mood swings has been of the highest level ever since. He even transferred his aggressions at me once, to which I responded squarely and made him apologize. Now he has been on my own case. ROTFL. Making his sudden likeness for me known to my other colleagues, I just smile and not respond too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think this is just a harsh generalisation. U am 32, my husband is 32. We married in the registry on my 32nd birthday. Was I unpleasant to him? Not intentionally, like any other human being can u be unpleasant? Of course. It reminds me of one silly girl at my old office. We are the same age but she has been married 5 years. She said something silly about no one wants to marry a 30 yr old woman I told her to shut up. Lol. I stick my tongue out when I see her bcos she laments about how her 37 year old husband is fat and has clubbed feet. Meanwhile I just say my husband is young and hot. And he is even over responsible.
    Age has nothing to do with attitude. Nobody should ever settle for garbage in the name of a husband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I meant I am 32 my husband is 31

      Delete
  9. I gave up on getting married in the US because most women over 30 were miserable and desperate. I knew after a while that dating 20-something women was the only thing to do. In the US, we don't teach children the truth about life anymore, because someone might be upset or offended. Thus, women don't take their fleeting fertility and beauty seriously--and are shocked when both start to fade and take them out of the game. It is not anti-woman to talk about the truth--in fact, it is a sign of respect. Just as a man who is blessed with athletic gifts must take advantage of this talent in his teens or forever lose his chance to become a professional athlete, women must honestly evaluate their chances for relationship success in their teens, by looking at their mothers, doing research, and talking to knowledgeable / honest adults, to take the best advantage of their 20s and early 30s. One very big truth that women seem determined to forget is that many good, marriageable guys who can’t get a date in their 20s gain confidence and resources in their 30s, and then want to ‘go back’ and prove to themselves that they too can get the young and attractive women who ignored them a decade before. So why would any 30-something man who takes care of himself and who is in his right mind want to deal with fading, unhappy, and desperate 30-something women when he can hang out with young, pretty, and pleasant 20-somethings? It may be unfair that all of us can't have the flower and beauty of youth for a longer period of time, but facts are facts--and ignoring them will continue to leave many Western women at the end of the road with few good choices--no matter what feminism preaches. All that said, feminism has created a sexual bonanza for boys and men, as girls and young women are increasingly determined to prove their sexual capabilities as early as elementary school. You go girl!

    ReplyDelete

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