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...The Things We Hear When The Conversation Isn't Ours.

Hey guys!
What's the funniest/weirdest/strangest thing you've heard while eavesdropping on someone else's conversation? Not necessarily the amebo type, but the type you involuntarily overhear. 

I overheard a conversation today. And I was almost dying to say something! My body was itching, my tongue was almost swelling up. I was almost foaming at the mouth! I really wanted to speak. But what could I say to someone I'd never met before, about something I shouldn't have heard in the first place? Here's what happened:

So like I said, I'm not feeling too well and I ran some tests yesterday. I went to pick up the results today and while I waited there was this lady also waiting for her result. She got a call and went outside to answer the call as she obviously needed some privacy. The call went somewhat like this; 

"No aunty I cannot do it anymore. I can't. Is it when I die that I will leave? We are not even married yet and it is already like this. I have tried to manage but I'm getting tired. His temper is too high. Hia! Somebody that beat his younger sister till she started bleeding just because she came home late..... his sister that he loves very much, that means he can kill me nau! Everytime he will be beating me, everytime he will come and beg and I will forgive him. I've made up my mind o! After I ran away last week I am not going back. (Now this was the shocking part). I just don't know what to do. I have been sleeping anywhere I can see. That first night I slept in a hotel, but you know how expensive hotels in this island is. The next day I managed and slept in another hotel, that one was cheaper but it finished my money. Since then I've been sleeping in my car. For two nights I slept in front of that Catholic Church in phase 1, the third time they came and drove me away. After that I started sleeping in front of the Redeemed church. In fact anywhere I see I sleep. I need to leave Lagos, I just need somebody to go and pack my things from the house. And somebody that can give me small money.... Aunty I cannot go back! Hmmm, how many times will I forgive him? Ok. I just came to check my test result, let me know first, if I'm pregnant then I will try and decide what to do.. .."

I paraphrased. She ended the phone call with her aunty and that last sentence brought even more complications. She came back inside, smiled and sat down. This time I smiled more brightly at her. But I wanted to do more than smile, she looked like she's around the same age as me. She looked terribly tired too. I wanted to tell her not to go back to him, whether she's pregnant or not. I wanted to tell her she didn't deserve to be his punching bag. I wanted to tell her life was too short. I wanted to know why her aunty couldn't help (but the woman probably has bigger problems of her own). 
       But what solution did I have to offer? Was I going to get her a place to stay if she decides not to go back to him? Was I going to see her through pregnancy and help with the child's welfare? Should I have said "I'm sorry about what you're going through. It is well." ?  Your guess is as good as mine.
      I said nothing. After all it was a private conversation I should not have heard in the first place. 

*What's the weirdest thing you've overheard in a conversation?
*What do you do when you have a strong opinion on something you overheard? 
*Do you just voice it out even though you don't know the person, or you know the person but the thing discussed in no way concerns or involves you?
*In my shoes, would you have said anything to the lady I met today?


  1. back in uni when I heard one of my male friends telling someone on his cell that he doesn't want people knowing he's gay.. I knew he had gay tendencies though.. he thought I was sleeping. I just told him flat out that there was nothing to be ashamed of. He then started crying and I tried to console him. it's harder for him because he's the first child, only son and muslim. Thank God he does not plan on returning to back to nigeria anytime soon to tell his folks..but I think he should tell them soon in order to be free and be at peace you know.

    I wouldn't say anything if I were in your shoes because it's not my business. I would feel uncomfortable if you (a stranger) started giving me advice on how to handle my situation.

  2. I can't really remember anyone for now. Well done Thelma, hope you feel better now?

  3. Oh Dear T, in your shoes I would have said A LOT. "I can like to buy people's problem ni". Esp women going through emotional trauma.
    Am the girl that threatens her bff's, cousins & roommates boyfriends behind their backs, so Yes, I would have said something & given her a Hug... but u weren't feeling well too so it's alright.

    Now to the weirdest thing I have heard...

    I attended my female Cousins engagement party with a female friend. Le Cousin lodged I & My friend in same hotel. My friend liked one of Le cousin's friend & gave him our hotel room number *without my knowledge*.
    I was sleeping & started hearing someone "Moaning", Brethren of TTB, I woke up, rubbed my eyes, turned to my side & saw my friend having oral from the nigger she just met *what a sight*. I ran out to my cousin's room *it was 1am* & Never spoke to my friend again. (Height of disrespect).

    What could I have said to what I heard?

    1. ROTFL. You just took overhearing things to a whole new level!

  4. And please Get well soon Sugar...

  5. T I love the way you title your posts, true sign of creativity. I would have kept quiet too. Last week I overheard my hairdresser tell someone that her pregnancy is for a married man. She's almost 40 and single so I understand the need for a baby, but for a married man? No comment.

  6. I hope your test results came out good. Ndo, dear. I pray God heals you totally I'm Jesus name.

    Walking on my street, I heard someone say this ' I no send am ooo. What's my business with her. I gave it to her as she no sabi keep her man.I called him immediately and told him to warn his wife. Why should she call my phone? She shouldn't disturb my life ooo'
    I had to slow down to see the person talking. Two light skinned ladies walked past me. And all that crossed my mind was a reply my mouth never uttered 'one day, you just might be in her shoes.'

    About the lady, if I could help, I might write my advice on a piece of paper. But I should be ready to take her home afterwards.

  7. My neighbor's kids and their friends, under 13 o, these girls. I was sleeping in d parlor, my car was wt d mechanic, am sure they tot no one was in our hse. I heard one say, so he dint com when u gave him a blow job? That means he dint enjoy it cos he came when I did it to him. Plenty depressing sex talk, am 29 and married, and cannot talk abt sex dat way, so u can imagine how I feel. Plus Hubby says to mind my business and sat notin to d parents or the girls. I wish I had coughed or opened my Window, so that they knew I heard dem.

  8. Thelma, I would have talked if i was there. I hear alot of things i'm not meant to, and most times i talk.
    I wouldn't forgive myself, if i knew i could help her and i did nothing.


    1. Exactly. If I knew I could help her I would have said something. There's nothing I could have done besides encourage her not to go back, which she already knew she shouldn't do. And then what? What would I have said or done after that?

  9. As a much younger married couple, wifey used to 'harrass' me that her domestic allowance wasn't meeting up. This was at a time business and money took a little downswing but i always ensured I provided. One day she goes out to meet friends and her phone 'çalls''me! I picked and said hello and bcos it was wifey i didnt drop immediately. Their conversation was on how much they receive from hubby. Funny enough, she didnt give up her own figure though others did. I had a smug smile for a long time......
    And that was how the 'harrassmen't stopped!

  10. Dear Thelma, sorry you feel unwell. Hope you get fine and bubbly soon!
    I can't recall the weirdest overheard conversations now.
    If I were in your position I think I'd have encouraged her not to go back to him.
    When I overhear someone I know's conversations, I usually don't talk to then about it. For a lot of reasons.

  11. Wish you good health and sound mind Thelma.

    I walked into a video club one evening and I heard the owner - a married woman, telling another woman tales of her 'sexcapades' with another (married) man. She was 'gisting' her friend and did not even bother to stop or hush her voice when I walked in. I acted as though I heard nothing, did my business and left. Few days later, she called me (note: we were not close) to explain that her husband often traveled out of Lagos to other towns and she was always in need of sex! Now the husband never spent more than 2 weeks out of town without coming home. I gave her a piece of my mind which was obviously not what she expected because as she put it, she thought I was 'doing it too'.

    If I were in your shoes Thelma, I am unsure I would speak to the lady because I believe she knew what she was into and knew the right thing to do; she only needed the finance to support the right course of action. I would only speak if I had the means of helping otherwise, I would ignore.

  12. In camp during NYSC, one afternoon I managed to hide in the hostel as I didn't want to attend the lecture going on. When the coast was clear and I came out of my hide-out. I found out that some other girls had done the same thing and it didn't seem like it was their first time. They sat in one corner gisting generally about life, Uni and soon they were talking about relationships. One said, she was still a virgin that she gives her boyfriend blowjobs whenever he wanted sex. Another one talked about how she annoying slapped her ex and still regrets it, then how she begged him, lost weight as a result of not eating well, then how she even went to his office to seduce him and gave him a blowjob hoping that he would return to her.
    About the lady at the hospital, if there's nothing I can do about her predicament immediately I would have kept quiet too.
    Be healthy Thelma. Sorry dear.

  13. d worst tin i've heard was when i overheard my sis-in-law gossiping wit my mother-in-law over d phone dat i delibrately had an abortion and said it was a miscarriage becos it didnt belong to thier brother. Immediately she dropped d call, i confronted her and she started pleading with me not to tell her son (my husband) cos she knows he would kick her out for speaking ill about his wife.

    As for d lady, i wont say anytin to her o cos i cant help wit solutions


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
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Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

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him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
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Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
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