Yesterday I saw this comment on Stella Dimoko Korkus' blog:
Life is good
Marriage is perfect
DS is fast growing
DH is working harder to make us happy
But why does my mum love money so much
She loves money that she never gives
And always claims sick so as to claim Medical bills
Why is she so annoying
What can I do to such a mum
She's almost ripping my home apart...
Awwww,I'm ashamed I'm saying this about my mum but shld I rather claim it's well and die in silence?
Her wants/needs are unending
She's so unappreciative when you buy her gifts
She'd be like; you should have counted the money n given me instead of spending so much to buy this cos I need the money
Does she gamble or what?
And she isn't jobless o
And she doesn't pay bills cos everything is down for her
What does she do with money?????"
I've got a few friends with this problem; overly demanding mothers!
One in particular got so frustrated with her mother's demands because she doesn't earn so much and neither does her hubby who has his own parents and siblings to provide for. She does what she can but it's never good enough for her mum. Like the above commenter she buys her mum gifts but it's either she complains that she should have been given the money instead or the gift isn't good enough. Another major issue is the fact that the daughter of her mum's good friend is married to a very popular Lagos big boy who's a part owner of one of the big hotels in Victoria Island and a major contractor. From the day she married that guy in 2006 till date he has completely transformed the lives of her family members, but he can afford to, he's freaking rich! And these are the people her mum uses to compare herself with everytime; "Why are you giving me this, if you see the bag *Kate bought for her mum..." "Kate's husband just flew Kate and her mum out for her birthday. They went to Dubai, from Dubai to England, from England to Paris, From Paris to New York. They stayed at the Dorchester, they stayed at The Hiltons, they did this and that, you and your husband can't even send me to Ghana". One day my friend got frustrated and said "Your mates are leaving things for their children; land, houses, properties, shares, gold. You have not even left ordinary pencil for any of your children, all you do is take take take and continue to complain!"
Naturally this issue has lead to discord among mother and daughter.
But please what's with some mothers? When I was in the University I had a few friends that spent each night with a different aristo to be able to send money home to their mothers to take care of things at home. I always wondered; you know your daughter is a student and isn't working, don't you ever wonder where this money is coming from?
Of course most of them knew but they would rather pretend that their daughters are doing business. What kind of business is a daughter doing in school that she sends you 50k every other week? Nawa for some mothers o!
The one that upset me the most was the mother of a friend who had turned herself into the town whore in order to take care of her mother and four younger siblings. She was taking care of her own education, accommodation and everything at home, from feeding, to her siblings school fees, to NEPA and water bills, to clothing, to hospital bills, EVERYTHING! Monthly she would pay huge sums into her mother's account and whenever her mother demanded for more she would double her runs, sometimes sleeping with two different guys in one day. Then one day her mum came to town and we were all gisting and then the woman said to her "I hope you are keeping yourself for your husband. I hope you don't sleep with married men o! Yesterday in my church all the wives gathered after fasting and poured curses on the heads of any girl sleeping with their husband. They said 'for any woman sleeping with my husband, ten more will sleep with her own' and they must fall down and die!" I wanted to scream where Dafuq do you think your daughter gets all that money from?!!!
How does one cope with mothers like this?