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To The People Who Place Too Much Trust In Friends...

I'm someone who takes friendship a bit too seriously and begin to see some friends as family. Some people advocate that one ought to be wary of friends, another thing I find hard to do, but then when I hear stories like the one in Steele's comment below I sit back and have a rethink:

"I have a friend who was dared by his gf that he couldn't sleep with her best friend, and they agreed that if he succeeded she wouldn't hold it against him. She was so sure that the best friend could be trusted and wouldn't Crack.
Long story short, he's married to the best friend now and that's how the best friendship ended

Ok first off, some ladies need to quit with these stupid dares. Regardless of how much you trust your friend it's just plain stupid and immature. Besides, why tempt fate?

Similarly, (although there were no dares here, just blind trust) my Ex's cousin was dating this guy in Port Harcourt, same town her bestie lived in. Bestie would come to Lagos and she would give her gifts or packages and ask her to help deliver them to her boo, or ask her boo to pick it up from bestie's house, and when the boo comes to Lagos she would also send things to her friend through him. She trusted her friend so much that if she or the boo complained of being bored she would tell him to go and hang out with her friend or ask her to go hang out with him. Well long story short today le boo and le bestie are married with buriful shidren while the girlfriend is still single and still quite bitter, naturally. 

What do you think about situations like these. I'm sure we've all either heard similar stories, or know people who have had these experiences, or maybe you've experienced it personally? 

It's easy to hate someone who would so horribly betray a friend that placed so much trust in them, but then again, isn't there a possibility that this person did not set out to hurt his/her friend and take their significant other. Maybe they accidentally fell in love? 'Accidental' because it wasn't planned, foreseen or premeditated? As you know, accidents aren't planned, they're things that are often beyond our control... And you know what they say; you can't help who you love, you cannot tell the heart what to do, the heart wants what the heart wants etc

.....Is it maybe unfair to a friend to place so much trust in them or have such high expectations from them? 
     I'm just trying to look at things from all angles but I'll find it extremely difficult to forgive a friend who does this to me. 

Have you ever been betrayed by a friend who ended up with your partner, or have you fallen for your friend's partner and ended up with him/her? Let's talk. 


  1. I think it's just wicked. Shikena! Someone your friend's still seeing?!
    I know a lotta people, have plenty 'friends', yet I'm wary of trusting people too much. Not even about relationships sef, just generally. There's already so much challenge & hustle in life, don't need to add betrayal to it. I avoid pain a lot.
    And I would never date nor marry a friend's bf, not even if a pastor prophesied he's my husband.
    For me, it isn't even just about being considerate but once I'm friends with your gf, my soul just X's you; you'd never appeal to me.

  2. Accidental how? Thelma you've obviously never been on the receiving end before.

  3. Trust is a very strong word. Circumstances can change the most trust worthy person. That's why I have low expectations from people and I always forgive, if not immediately, on the long run. I am a "Life is too short for any form of bitterness" person. We are humans and we make the word imperfection look perfect.

    1. I bin they already judge you since the time you talk say you be atheist, but sis I dey feel this your outlook on life,even tongue-talking, spirit-filled mega christians no fit do wetin you just type.
      Double Twale for you re:I have low expectations from people and I always forgive, if not immediately, on the long run. I am a "Life is too short for any form of bitterness" person.

  4. Friends are very good but unfortunately I have learnt to have fewer friends. I wanna be nice to everyone and show them love but I don't need a very close friend. Not with the little experience I have had with them. In fact most of my break ups far back to when I was younger was as a result of friends.

  5. yes o my darling thelma. E don do me before. La bestie slept with le boo.

    1. Seriously. What haPpened? Do did u find out? Give us gist biko.

  6. Way back in school, my bf broke up with her. Boo, to thinnk that Nana called me and I was glad to help sort things out, only for him to tell me I was his crush*eyesrolling*......hahahhhahhha see me see Local trouble!
    I told him off imediatly and kept it from my beloved. Well I didn't entirely keep my mouth Shut, I told our common friend About My worries and phone conversation with Nana, my babe snitched on me, with lies and all to my bff whom I gave my all. You know how it goes, payback- she got my man with her friend(story for another day) let me not forget to say they are married now. Yours truely is single, lol
    Story short....I got vindicated months later when the snitch apologised and said all her lies. Me reunite with them? Mbanu! My bf I housed, clothed , cooked, trusted, prayed with, payed her tuition, etc that is betrayal of my trust.

    1. Thelma your readers are Also good writers, lol. Am addicted already

    2. LoL. I am addicted too.
      Nice blog, Thelma

    3. Yes, they are. Thanks a lot Utchay.

  7. Thelma i like that you're trying to look at it from the friend's side of the story but what's wrong is wrong. I love your blog by the way. First time commenting

  8. I have seen situations like this very well and in most cases it is d lady that lost her boo 2 her friend just cos dey actually keep too much friends, and trust girls dey can like to make mouth, they ll almost em friends all wot dier boo did 4 em thereby making d friend jealous..tell me y d friend no go steal am 4m u, ladies should learn hw to protect em relationships from Devious friends

  9. In other news , i just became an aunt...again💃💃, this time to the cutest , most beeaauuurrriiifful lil girl in d world😍😍 #ngwabye *in chigurls voice* #BL

    1. Yay! Congrats BL. I Know that feeling, it's the best feeling in the world, only second to having your own baby. Ngwabyeee. Lol

  10. There has to be a balance. Learn how to trust in almost a childlike manner but alsk learn to understand that the people will make mistakes and often hurt you sometimes intentional and unintentionally. I simply say don't carry friends on your head. Dont carry anybody on your head.

  11. am a one man mopol oh...when I was in school then chei...I had a lotta friends oh,I was dating this big boi then and my friends had issues with some cultists living in their compound,me been the jolly good fellow asked my friends to move in with le boo...guess what le boo slept with one of them oh....ever since say no to friendship ni oh....any babe that tries that with me now,I cant say what I would do oh....that naughty house wife

  12. One man Mopol. am all by myself. I have female friends bt don't really have a bff. Gurls wahala 3much.

  13. Of course I do see situations like this post everywhere...
    But as for me, I do have a bff. I do Love my bff but I think even her knows my trust has boundaries.
    I always expect the worst from everyone esp my friends so I don't end up disappointed when they live up to natural expectations. LOL.
    Le heart is too fragile for such betrayal.


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