We all want what we want. When it comes to prospective (life) partners we have certain standards that we've set (if you don't then.... your case may be likened to the saying 'if you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything'). We've seen and applauded women and men who know what they want and who refused to settle for anything less till they got their desires. But sometimes one wonders; how much good does sticking to these standards do?
For instance so many ladies want to marry a guy that's very involved and grounded in church. They luckily find one and are so consumed with joy that they forget to pay attention to other details of his personality and character. A religious church goer does not a good husband make. So he may have that one basic thing you seek in a husband but the things he lacks may far outweigh it. Moreover people need to remember that there's a difference between being an active church goer and being Christ-like.
You may want the guy who's in a certain industry. My friend *Jola insists that he must be an executive in an oil company. She's already climbing to the top of the ladder in one of the 'juicy' oil companies in the country. When I did the post Gold digger or Go-getter most of us thought it was a great idea. Women shouldn't have to settle! But sometimes I see this kind of thinking as putting yourself in a box. It's so very limiting. Mr Handsome Top Oil Executive may could also be Mr Physically Abusive, he could be Mr Stingy, he could be Mr Playa of The Year.
That lady who's a Tyra Banks lookalike, whose cooking and cleaning can put Mary Poppins to shame may also be Mrs I Can't Keep My Legs Closed, or Mrs I'm So Emotionally Abusive I'll Eat Away At Your Self-Confidence And Make You Hate Yourself. Men have lost good women all in the name of marrying 'wifey material'. I know men want a wife that's grounded, that can take care of the affairs of the home and naturally, is reserved. But I've seen men dump their party-going girlfriends from Miss 'Take Home To Mama' only to start running from pillar to post in a year's time because "that woman is a bitch.".
On one of his TV shows last year, Steve Harvey once spoke about (the problem with) having set views of what you want. He said that when something comes in a beautiful package (the kind of package you want), it's a good thing. But the problem with good looking packages is that they make up want something before you know what is inside, before you should want it. So you may unravel the beautiful package and find things that you just cannot begin to deal with; things you never anticipated or imagined.
I guess what I'm trying to say that sometimes it's necessary to step outside that box you've built for yourself and look a little farther. That person may not be the exact model you ordered; the one you want, but you never can tell; they might just be the exact model you need. They may be the model that's perfectly suited to you.
We shouldn't be so set in our views that we become blind to so many beautiful things and a world of possibilities.
Yet, I started by saying that if you have no standards and will accept whatever comes your way you may just be digging your own grave or setting yourself up for a lifetime of unending discontent. You SHOULD have standards. And I'm not asking that you part with those standards, I'm asking that if something comes in a package you hadn't expected or requested, you peek in a little further before discarding it. Even the most valuable gifts sometimes come in unattractive packages.
But I must repeat. Have standards. And for those you refuse to compromise on, knowing fully well that they are essential to your happiness and mental/emotional/psychological/spiritual well-being then under no circumstances should you compromise (settle).