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From Average-Joe To Idris Elba (Let His Love Be Enough).

"Is there something about marriage?"

Can you be less ambiguous?" I asked. 

"Its just that I've noticed that men, after they get married, they just become very handsome. They fill out in on the right places. Their appearance is neater. Their shoulders are higher, they somehow now have a new swag, a new confidence... There's just something about men after they get married. What is it about marriage?"


"It's just that I saw *Yele and ....."

Oh. Now I knew what she was talking about. Yele was one of those guys that you'd never give the time of day as a single hot chic. Really? Why would you? After all you're a smoking hot chic, a size 10 with all the right curves and flawless skin that cost more than his then monthly salary to maintain. You couldn't understand the nerve of him to look at you with admiration and hope. Did he have any idea how much it cost to look that good? Please face your front... Look right ahead, look past me. There's nothing to see here, at least, nothing for you to see here. 

Yeah, that was the kind of guy that Yele was. For some reason he couldn't stop loving my friend *Chioma. We couldn't comprehend why his eyes were up-up, why he won't just toast someone more his speed, someone that was in his level. It really wasn't that there was anything wrong with him per sé, it's just that... There were other guys a chic like Chioma would consider before him. Many other guys...

He wasn't all bad and if one looked closer, and really squinted, they might have seen some potential. But really who had that kind of time? Why go to the farm and dig out the yam tuber when there was a hot plate of iyan and egusi right in front of you? And that's kind of how it was with Yele. Why take the time, why waste the time trying to decipher that ray of potential you think you saw, then begin to work on him, polish him up and all of that, when there were some suave polished young bachelors yet around all for the taking? Well Chioma became a brick wall where Yele was concerned. 

That was some 2 years ago.

Chioma saw Yele and his Mrs a while back at Terra Kulture and she didn't even recognize him till he came over to say hello and introduce her to wifey as "An old acquaintance". Ouch! But that wasn't the part that pained Chioma sef. It was Yele himself that had Chioma smarting. She couldn't stop thinking about their meeting even days after seeing him. 

So now she says she cannot believe how he became so mysteriously transformed. He had a confidence that was never there before. The H factor that's synonymous with some Yorubas and his general poor diction were conspicuously absent. His lips were no longer dry and chapped but now full and supple, his skin with its dull pallor was now healthy and shiny. And was that a Patek Phillipe wristwatch? After the Hellos and Goodbye he walked away, hand in hand with wifey and Chioma noticed that his gait was proud and graceful. 

"Bia Nwando, is this what marriage does to men?" 

Ju ba m. Ask me o!!! As if I've been married before. *RME* But I knew just what she meant. I don't know if that's what marriage does to men but I know that some women can take Boy Alinco and turn him into (their own) Idris Elba. 

I saw the comment below on Bella Naija and I sent it to Chioma. Let his love be enough. 

"My now husband used to dress poorly back in the days, had a difficulty expressing himself in public and had BO. The good thing was that he was very smart and ambitious and that was enough for me.. The song ‘Let me upgrade you’ is not just a song ladies….let it be your anthem. I fixed his dressing, suggested outfits for him. Now this boy even cares about fashion more than me. Regarding his BO, I buy his deodorant and perfume for him and always tell him how sexy he smells after he puts it on. Now this man uses his perfume every time and can't go a day without his deodorant. THERE IS NOTHING THAT CANNOT BE FIXED. LET HIS LOVE BE ENOUGH."

I guess this is the point I was making in the Little Miss Silly post. 

All well and good. But, I won't end without sharing the words of that nagging voice in my head that's crying to be let out; Shrek did not transform into the Prince Charming we'd expected, instead Princess Fiona transformed into an Ogre, likewise not every Boy Alinco will be an Idris Elba. 

Seek discernment and foresight. Look carefully, choose wisely.


  1. Hahahaha...Princess Fiona is the reality checker!!!

  2. hmmmmmmmmmmm that B.O aspect though, im currently experiencing the same thing, I just don't think Im ready to change any man mehnnn abeg I will go with the Princess Fiona state of mind p.....

  3. Loooooool. Thelma you're so on point with this analogy. Seriously not every frog will turn into Prince Charming, you might just turn into a frog. Dang!

  4. Yes oo! Some men seek to improve themselves, and will impress you with the right amount of coaching. Others are too proud, and would rather bring you down to their level. Choose wisely!

  5. ......, I ain't no Princess Fiona, I certainly can't turn my self from Cinderella to a frog now. maka.. why. Please while we are looking for the dream guy, we have to be open to the option that you cannot have it all. So go to the one that has over 50 percent of all the traits you want in a man or woman, The thing about marriage in my (short but very long two years that I have been married), looks will not be the deal breaker in the long run, its the intrinsic values that will make the difference in marriage.
    This is my story. I was torn btw choosing from my hubby with another hunk of a guy. lets call my hubby Mr. Boo and the hunk Mr. lust. financially, Mr. lust had it all, ex-footballer, cute body , tall dark and handsome, solid dick, average brains, average diction and IQ, great in bed, caring and loves me about 80%, cos the remaining 20% he dey use am touch light some side chics and he has sexy legs. Physically and financially he was my spec, but brain- wise he was just an average Joe. ) and finally he is Very possessive
    Mr. Boo on the other hand is financially stable (and going places), loves me 101%, caring, IQ is very high, good face (but not like Mr. lust) we are the same height (and I love me some tall dude), good dick (hammers well), skinny legs (the part that nearly made me not marry), and all the very good things that come with husband material and I mean correct husband material. (he can be very jealous)
    The thing I noticed is that both men liked fair babes a lot but I am a dark chic, (not too dark) but they both wanted me for keeps. I really prayed about It cos, they were both okay ,but one was more a husband than the other, the only flaw was d skinny legs. Which I cant do anything about. I went for Hubby cos, I knew he was the best for me with great potential, so I just manage the legs like that, and I buy his materials that add some weight to the legs, while on my own part, I toned my skin a bit to get a slightly lighter look. We both met half way. CEO

    1. I wish "blogger" would just include the like "option," that's how much I like your comment...It got me laughing out like a banshee especially the reference to the skinny legs. Truth is something has to give all the time, it's left to you to decide what you trading off. Best wishes in your marriage CEO but please don't get overly light, creamy does it.

  6. Lol, your comment is funny.. L

  7. Honestly,I thought this post was about le boo sans the BO et al. Most men are a diamond in the ruff and we women are the polishers, that is why once man has ambition, ok to look at and not lazy,please take the plunge if he adores you every other thing could be 2 cents

  8. Hmmm, what about those Boy Alincos U upgrade & they end up abandoning ur ass for a fiona?
    No time again biko


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