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How Do You Sleep At Night?

Have you ever dated or been friends with that kind of person that can hold on to grudges for years on end? The type that will still talk to you and smile at your face even while they harbor so much bitterness against you in their hearts. 

I guess for me because I've always been the kind of person that will let you know when you offend me that I feel offended. I don't care if we fight, scream,nor argue about it, just as long as we talk about it and put it behind us, and I expect that when I do something that hurts or offends you, you extend the same gesture to me too. 

I was reading something last night that reminded me of someone from my past. Three weeks after we started a relationship he suddenly changed and started treating me 'anyhow' but for the next two years refused to fully break up with me. It was about two years later when I said I wanted out completely and that I was tired of all his sh*t that he exploded and told me that he had put up with more sh*t from me. 

This guy then proceeded to tell me something I did 3 weeks after we started dating that made him change towards me and then things I did subsequently after those 3 weeks and the next two years. When he listed these things I had goose bumps all over my body! How? 

So he was there when someone called me on the phone 3 weeks after we started dating and asked if I was in a relationship and I said No. So he saw me in the club (Baccus) that weekend I came to Lagos and lied I was in Enugu, about four months later. So that guy that called my phone (one year after we started dating) and said we met somewhere whom I subsequently went to visit at home was his friend and it was all a set up? And all these were over a year ago and this MONSTER was just telling me now????

I couldn't understand it. How could he have known all that and said nothing, acted like all was normal and refuse to end our so-called relationship? How does he sleep at night?

Admittedly I was young at the time, those were my carefree years and I wasn't the perfect girlfriend (partly because he wasn't the perfect boyfriend either..... which I'd just learnt was as a result of lying and humiliating him in front of all his friends 3 weeks after we started dating). But as far as I was concerned anyone who could hold onto something for that long and still kiss me and profess love to me can kill me in my sleep in the middle of the night. 

Have you ever been with someone like this? Someone so passive-aggressive that they can hold up to the hugest grudges and greatest bitterness without saying a word about it yet carrying on like everything is normal? How do you cope with people like that? 

If you're that kind of person, please what makes you act the way you do? And more importantly, how do you sleep at night?


  1. Thelma what happened to d previous post????

  2. When i was much younger,i had a friend who was like that,its always as if she keeps loading lots of things and then one day just like a vulcano waiting to erupt she'll pour it all out,on my own side,i was always afraid and i'd look as though something is eating(i dont know why since am not the one bearing the grudge),even after rendering apologies and asking others to plead with me,it wouldn't end at that.Also,i once had a friend who i really like and i was hoping it would develop into a r/shp but as we got along,i noticed that he had this habit of recounting past wrongs even those that have being apologised for and you thought they're forgiven.So just like you T,i don't holding back when someone offends me,so i told him to his face and made it stick to his head that as long as he has that character,then we can't get along.

  3. Dated someone like that for over 5yrs, almost married the nigger thank goodness I borrowed myself some brain, this guy kept tabs on me every state I went and whatever they report back to him that I did he wouldn't say a word till like a month or more later and the way he'll bring it up like u guys were discussing the weather it was sick. He was also a pathological liar, lied about his age, about what he graduated with from school, about how many degrees he had, about his job, a whole lotta lies I began to doubt if he was actually a human being could be a ghost ya know. Till today I still ask myself what I was doing with him for that long. Again thank God!

  4. Some people are just wired that way. They cannot be happy unless they are carry beef for somebody in their mind

  5. Ok am kinda guilty here, i dont like quarelling or shouting nor fighting at all, so if someone offends me, i just stay away from that person completely cos i cant jus deal. Its not like am perfect but i go out of my way to please everyone around me just to make sure i dont offend anyone, some of my friends actually think am a mumu, but the negative effect is dt i hardly forgive people nor forget, i keep praying for God to help me become good at that cos thats my weakest point. Just maybe my marriage would ve worked better if i had a more forgiving spirit, but i just cant, if i had stayed maybe i would ve poisoned him one day like Thelma said. As for sleeping at night, i sleep soundly knowing i ve not offended anyone..

    1. You hardly forgive people but you sleep soundly at night? How do you get your prayers answered or you are not worried about that?
      I apologize if you don't believe in the Bible but if you do, please do not get married yet until you resolved this issue of forgiveness first. I don't believe you can love somebody until you can forgive them of everything they do wrong.

    2. Forgiveness is something not everyone derserves. If the person hurts me knowingly and consciously,I'm sorry but I can't forgive u. If christ said forgive 40x40,that don't give u the right to hurt me 40x40. And yes,as long as I know I didn't do the offending,I can sleep soundly too! Life is too short to carry someones guilt-trip

    3. Really? So you carry a grugde the person is completely oblivious of, while they go about their business freely, you'd be reminded of the grugde, everytime you see them

    4. Wale i agree with you, am not jus working on resolving it, am praying for God's help too cos i just cant help myself. @anon

  6. I can relate with this very well, I cannot hold grudges otherwise I wont be able to sleep. On the other hand, I get served by people that cannot deal with issues once they come, get them resolved and move the heck on.
    Ignorance will lead some people to an unexpected end!

  7. I dnt get annoyed easily, n even wen I do, I keep it 2 myself n wont say a word bou it......buh wen som1 really ANNOYS me d kind dat hurts pretty bad, I jes forgive n forget u(literally).......Jenny

  8. Babe, my name is Henry, I will not give my last name, but I am exactly the type of person you described. its not beef, its just well, you have proved not to be loyal, i cant let you go because i would need regular P***Y every now and then while i look for my real queen, its then left for you to wake up and smell the coffee, I have personally never broken up with any girl, and i always have at least 3 girlfriends at a time, while some are quitting, some and enlisting,

    Its just a method of doing things, it has nothing to do with holding grudges, the first betrayal is a deal breaker for me, the girl just hangs on for me to see if i can ever truly love her again, but i will never open my mouth to tell a girl that its over, as long as there is still p***y attached to her. sorry for the insults that might follow, its just how i operate. And i don't only sleep well at night, I snore

    1. Bros u ve strength o, HIV is real o, u stay with a cheating gf cos of free p****?

  9. Another dimension is someone who holds grudges against you and lets you know it, still doesn't make peace with you. He shows he is angry but doesn't tell you what you have done wrong. I put up with this attitude for years. Meanwhile, I am a complete opposite. I guess we are just made differently.


  10. When I have partial insomnia?I enjoy my sleep whenever I get to sleep long you have refused telling me what I did after asking and still giving me attitude,I'd not only sleep soundly,I'd so sleep with my legs raised high cos I know I didn't offend's too short for me not to enjoy the few hours I get to sleep biko


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