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Magnet The Magnate.

Yesterday was Sasha Bone's birthday and although there were no major plans, she decided to do something just to mark the day. After toying with a number of options we settled for the waterfront at the Lagoon restaurant in VI for dinner and drinks. It was just Sasha, a friend of hers and I. And you know how those round-table-moments always go; nothing is ever off topic!

I marveled at a thought that hit me; no matter how many times we ladies sit like this and talk, we just must talk about men; men present and men past. And no matter how many times we talk about this, we just never get tired. Everytime it's different, everytime it's fresh, everytime it's new. 

Last night however was indeed different, thankfully our conversation had other dimensions. I'm always up for a good relationship chat, I'm always willing and open to talk about relationships and sex, present and past, mine and others'. I always learn something new and I always seem to teach something new too. Yet I made a few observations about drinks last night. 

Yes we talked about men and all of that but this time, all the men/love/heartbreak/sex/marriage took a major backburner. We seemed more keen on other topics. This was rather unprecedented. It wasn't something that was deliberately raised; it was something we just evolved into. We were three young women enjoying our drinks and strategizing on how to get ahead in life. Each one of us have very different careers and we all each talked about our plans, long term and short term and how we each plan to achieve them. We discussed the goals that had already been achieved and the factors that are already being put in place to achieve the long term goals. 

We discussed our strengths and weaknesses and we each explored different ideas of how to strengthen these strengths to ensure that our goals are reached. We discussed passions and talents and analyzed ways to monetize these said passions and talents. There were uncertainties, there were blurred lines, there were definitely unanswered questions, yet one thing was certain; we all know who we are, what we want and where we are going. And more importantly, more awesomely, we all have an idea (irrespective of how vague or how vivid) of how to get there. 

At some point I looked at the table close to us, it was one of the tables that sit a dozen of people or more. There were about eight guys and three chics. The ladies seemed to be in their early 20s. I watched one drag at the Shisha pipe, puff, drag and exhale, I watched her laugh and prance around with reckless abandon and I was instantly transported back to several years ago. This used to be me. I longed to remember what it felt like not to have a care in the world, when my greatest worries were what to wear to the party next weekend or when Dayo/Francis/James/Oliver/Ubong/Micheal/Man (LOL) will call me. I smiled at the thought and contrary to what I'd thought I didn't envy the chica. I've lived those years and I'm here now. I probably do miss the reckless abandon, I obviously miss not having any worries or fears, I do miss thinking I'm 'forever young', invincible, immortal, and that life was all about 'today', when tomorrow comes we'll worry about it. Yes it's hard not to miss those days, but I find that I'm loving the 'now' much more than I loved the 'then'; I love knowing who I am, what I'm capable of, what I want and generally just what I'm all about. 

I brought my mind back to the table and we were discussing some price properties in Lagos. Sasha's friend M gave us a mild lessons in marketing and as we listened we all imagined ways we could apply this to our current situations and lives. We talked some more about random stuff but then I think about it now and I realize that one of those things wasn't how to get a man to put a ring on it. Ha! Now that's a first. 

Don't get me wrong, we would all like to get hitched to those lucky men; our future husbands, but as of last night we were more worried and concerned about getting ahead and building the lives we want for ourselves and our futures. 

As our glasses got empty and conversation trickled down we looked around and took in the other diners; some quite well-to-do lot I must say. My last memory of that moment is of someone saying "I just seriously wish I could magnet a magnate. Azzzzzzzin seriously. But wait, nah, I think I'd rather just be a magnate". True talk. 

Yes people, it was a night of great revelation. Girls have become women, we have all come into our own and our eyes are on the prize. 


  1. Hmmmm, Another Hmmmmmm....
    Cool line of conversation! It must have seem quite refreshing compared to the regular men/marriage talks.

    Many more fulfilling years to U Sasha.

    I DONT miss anything about my past. Maybe cos am still in my middle twenties or whatever. But I really miss nothing about the past cos my Present has always been better. So much better.
    May God keep Blessing us & granting us trails to our heart desires.

  2. Preach! Bless your heart dear. I wonder why girls just can't concentrate on being the magnate themselves. Last Saturday I was with a friend for over two hours and all she whined about was strategies on how to get a certain guy to pay some of her bills. She had a list of about seven, ranging from mechanical faults on her car to fueling her gen. I tried severally to talk about other things like how she can make more sales at her shop, if she wouldn't mind bring a few items to my office, but hian, we would be back to ''you know that my LV bag, it was that Oceanic guy that paid for it''. Lunch dates with her is usually annoying as she would keep whining about, one guy she could call to come and clear the bills, and she won't stop fiddling with her phone until we are done with the food. Each time we see, I give myself a mental note not to hang with her again, but I just find myself with her somehow. I need more independent minded girlfriends in my circle jare.

  3. Magnet the Magnate..... I'll rather just be the magnate. #Word. What I like about this post is that it wasn't just dreams, there was also strategizing and plans to achieve those dreams. Now that's what I'm talking about.

  4. Hahaahhaa...Thelma. You just pulled the Miranda on us. I guess anything we say or do cld and wld be used againt us in ur blog. Lol.

    1. Lol. I think you mean Carrie. Carrie Bradshaw was the columnist. Miranda was a lawyer (which coincidentally happens to be my actual profession. lol). Yeah well, if it's blog material then why not? What are friends for? LOL.

  5. I am the Magnate, Getting there. Amen!!!

  6. Its funny how life glad u girls had a great time. I also pray that God ll grant us all our heart desires.

    1. Hey Ifunanya. Please mail me if you can, thanks.

  7. It's hightime women stopped whinning about men and how they treat us. Financial independence is a way to go.


  8. This right here...I would rather be the Magnate! Word, Word, Word. Flesh and blood did not reveal that to you ladies. You certainly spoke to me

  9. Word. Marriage is not the beginning and the end. T this is just your starting point, you sure have a bright future ahead. Hbd Sasha bone.

  10. I wud rather be d magnate o jare..
    Y didn't you people snap and upload for us to see na.

    1. My darling we took pictures but Sasha and co are too shy.

  11. I like Thelma Yes but alot of commenters here love to kiss Thelmaz Big Ass.she can neva do any wrong in their eyes.just comment on the topic and leave Thelma alone. arrrrrghhh.


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