I once worked somewhere. This really nice, constantly smily cheerful lady worked in the same building where I worked. Most times from afar I'd watch her cheerful demeanor, I noticed how she smiled at everyone, how when she exchanged pleasantries she always laughed and her jolly round cheeks would wriggle like jelly. She knew most people and was on first name basis with almost everyone. She was so sweet and kind to everyone. Everyone minus me.
I'd try to smile harder, be more cheerful, more upbeat, friendlier. Yet everything I did received a stern nod from her. I heard some things she liked and I made sure I got her tiny little gifts; a book, a small bottle of perfume, a scarf, a piece of cake. Yet nothing seemed to be working, the most this elicited was a tight smiled followed by a curt nod.
I'd try to strike conversation with her; something she was eager to do with everyone else. Yet when it came to me she was suddenly dumb, deaf and mute all at once.
One morning I came into work and I saw her. I nodded politely and walked on by. I admit it, it wasn't easy accepting the fact that she didn't like me, that someone did not like me for no reason at all. But from the minute I realized that fact and accepted it, it made my life easier.
This has certainly helped me in dealing with other things in my life. The truth is this; you could be the sweetest, juciest, ripest peach in the world, but there's still going to be someone who hates peaches. It's just the reality of life. At different times I've tried to be kind or nice to people and I only hit a brick wall. There have been guys that I would have loved to be romantically involved with who just could not be bothered with me; but it's ok, not everyone can or will like me. There have been people who visited my blog just once and never returned, it's ok, not everyone can or will like my blog. There have been people who have looked upon my greatest efforts and turned their noses in disdain, or worse still, indifference. That's ok too because not everyone will like what you do or stand for, no matter how just and noble your intentions are.
And guess what; they don't owe it to you either. Nobody owes you likeness. Of course we all want to be liked but when you come across someone who doesn't like you for no reason at all, just take it in stride.
People will see you and make snap judgements about you without even knowing you. They will hate you from the first moment they see you and nothing can change their minds (except them). Just take it in stride. In fairness you have also made snap judgements about others; you've seen that skinny yet curvy chic with the designer bag and the perfect manicure and you instantly hated her for being a bitch (although you've never said a word to her). You saw the short overweight chic with a muffin top and 'Christian mother' arms and you instantly wrote her off for being a fat, lazy slob who's not worth a minute of your time. And then there are those that you've heard stuff about and you hate them as a result of what you heard when you've never confirmed if the rumours are true or false. There are also those that your friends hate, so naturally by default you hate them too.
So you see, nobody is without guilt really.
No matter how true to yourself, beautiful and amazing you are, you will always be someone's 'allergy' so hey, deal with it. Don't let it get to you. Continue to be you and stay true to yourself. Remember that you cannot please everyone (but don't let that be an excuse not to make an effort to please/be kind to people).
I wrote this for my friend who just cannot deal with the fact that someone doesn't like her. Are you like my friend? Do you get upset or worried over not being liked? How have you dealt with it so far?