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The Problem With Us...






I just read an extremely long story on a blog about a guy who's been married for several years to a frigid, unconcerned, disinterested woman and is looking for some sort of solution. 

I ran through the comment section hoping that someone would offer sensible, meaningful advice but all I saw was spirit, spirit husband, spirit wife, ogbanje, deliverance, prayer, spirit, marine, spirit, spirit, MFM on and on they went. I just couldn't deal so I shut down the page. For the umpteenth time I find myself asking; what is wrong with Nigerians?!


Last night like I told you guys I watched Da Vinci's demons and there was this episode where nuns in a convent were all running mad, having hallucinations, mumbling gibberish and tearing their own flesh or gorging their own eyes out. In true religious fashion the convent called a priest for an exorcism. Everyone believed the problem to be spiritual (even though the priest knew it wasn't, but I digress), during the first exorcism he ended up killing the nun saying something about seeing her eyes light up the minute before she died just like she had seen God; she had been freed of her demons. Da Vinci however refused to believe that everything could be attributed to demons and asked for one more day to investigate, and it was discovered that someone had poured poison on the feet of a statue that the nuns occasionally kissed when they prayed. And that's how they got treated for their diseases and got cured. 

Nigerians, we tend to believe everything is spiritual. Is it any wonder that we're one of the most backward nations in the world with all our country's wealth and natural resources. Sit back and look at the most successful countries in the world, the richest nations, the biggest economies; look at Saudi Arabia, China, United Arab Emirates, USA etc and then check just how "religious" or how Christian they are. If success and progress was by how religious one is then Nigeria would be a god among nations!

Someone's wife is obviously in dire need of psychological help. She obviously needs serious therapy and mental evaluation and all the confused husband gets told is that his wife has a spirit husband? 

I have said and will always say the religion will be one of our greatest undoings in this country. But hey, let me not go into a rant of how poor our people are in spite of how religious and prayerful we are, in spite of the number of churches you can find on one street, let alone a city. 
      Or should I go into a rant on how our spiritual leaders get fatter and more robust on the offerings of their impoverished congregation? How do you drive your hummer jeep with your 30 MOPOL and ask a lowly civil servant who's praying for help to feed the kids to continue to sow, sow and sow even more. They say; sow till you BLEED. That's when God feels it. WTF? How about you Mr Pastor sowing into the life of this impoverished person from the several millions in the church's coffers? I attended a church service recently and saw this happen (for the 100th time) and I wanted to pull my hair out! Ok, I've digressed. Topic for another day...

Of course the spirit world exists, and the physical is controlled by the physical, but God gave us minds and brains for a reason; the free gift of thought. We need to begin to THINK and not chuck everything down to real or imagined ogbanje spirits, otherwise as people and as a nation we will never grow.  

I couldn't go through all those comments but I pray that even just one person could convince that guy to successfully persuade his wife to get some much needed medical help. Yes sir, do pray for your wife and your marriage but please get madam to see a seasoned medical professional. If that story is true then that woman really needs all the help she can get. They shouldn't just see a counsellor, his wife must get help; they must get to the roots of her problem and begin to deal with it from there. 

Meanwhile we as a people need to begin to key into this free gift of thought. 


Good morning. 





Comments

  1. Hmmm, Thelma i just cant deal with people that think dt way, anytime my ex hubby had any issues, his mum would say my spirit husband is attacking her son, oh Chimooo, nothing i didnt hear.

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  2. Ifunanya we're still begging you to share part of your story. Thelma I saw the post too and I just smh. Religion is really the opium of the people. Overly religious yet extremely poor Nigerians. Tufiakwa.

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  3. Morning Thelma. A neighbor who after having still birth confessed to my elder sister that she thinks it might be as a result of some medications she mistook and that she drank liquor a couple of times as hidden under her mother-in-law's shadow who has been telling everyone who cares to listen that it's her late husband's family that ate up the baby.
    Though some of these things are very real. I have someone close whose pastor told her that the reason she hadn't been attracting suitors despite her fine features was that, men used to see the face of an old woman whenever they looked her. And after the deliverance section, the pastor told her that the person who has been behind her predicament would soon be involved in an accident that would cause him/her to be either blind or crippled. Which happened weeks after, the said woman is crippled now and the lady is married with kids. So one can't really blame Nigerians generally. We are just ignorant of too many things, such that we tag some ailments ''oyinbo sickness'' You'd hear people say, ''na oyinbo people that kain thing dey do''.

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  4. I believe in prayers and believing God for better opportunities but I will not sit down on my couch and believe these opportunities will fall from heaven like manna. The one that really pains me is when these church people pray all day and all week I begin to wonder if they do not have things to do or errands to run . God does not bless lazy ppl its the works of ur hands that He blesses.

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  5. @ Thelma the emotional abuse and manipulation that goes on in the church today is a serious source of concern and is the topic of discussion for another day however the physical world is indeed ruled by the spiritual and as such one cannot over estimate its importance.

    In spite of that the problem with us nigerians however is that we forget that faith without works is dead.Yes, It is good to go to church, but not enough that you sleep there 24/7 even the bible acknowledges that he who doesn't work MUST not eat i.e.. works going hand in hand with faith.
    Per the post you mentioned, sadly, I read it too and i just had to ramble through the comments so that I won't get infected by the "foolishness" in the generalized nigerian psyché.
    Only a handful of people mentioned her frigidity could be caused by logical issues: some health problems, past sexual experience, rape etc while 99% of the 300 comments went on and on about spirituality, the thing tire me.


    Im a christian, and proud to be so but I am not foolish enough to be manipulated into not using my God-given brain to think.
    my mantra still remains, Do your BEST(doing) and leave the rest to God (Faith)


    I call it spirituality versus religion.A lot of christians are religious and that is why they are not living a life that mirrors christianity.at the end of the day, we all need to know God for ourselves and not the dogmas dictated by authority/pastor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HSF you couldn't have said it better.
      But I would like to discuss another thing Thelma touched on. Wealthy pastors feeding off starving church members. I think it's not fair at all. Some people cannot afford three square meals or even bus fare to get to church but the pastors will come to church in flashy cars and still be tasking these hungry members. That is injustice of the highest orders. Nigerians need to begin to think for themselves.

      Delete
  6. @HSF God bless U kwa. People won't read the Bible and discover God for themselves, all they know is pastor said, pastor said. There is a typical saying that goes, if you want to hide stuff from a Nigerian, put it (write it) in a book. Cos we Do Not read.

    At some point I had to stop attending church and just study the bible on my own with a group of friends, cos all u hear is sow seed, pay tithes, give, give. God doesn't compel us to give, but our greedy men of the cloth will blackmail U into giving even what u do not have.

    It's even worse for this our generation T, we no like book @ all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GOD bless you Clare, HSF and Thelma for the comments and post. It's really a problem of spirituality (i.e. true Godliness) vs dogmatic religion and it's worse because people have refused to educate themselves (in the Bible and other things) and establish a direct relationship with GOD. Sadly, most of the youth aren't interested in learning / reading anything - a type of intellectual laziness. It makes me wonder what type of country we'll have in the next 20 years if there's still a country called Nigeria then.
      K.O.H.

      Delete
  7. Religion has taken the place of medicine and research in Nigeria, sometimes i wonder if these pastors know more than Christ who mixed spittle and sand ( i like to believe it signified medicine) to heal the blind man or God who deposited the knowledge in man and created herbs. I believe in faith and miracles but these days some pastors play God and its annoying.

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  8. True these things happens, but d way Nigerians give everythg a spiritual undertone is so alarming. Y won't pastors capitalise on dt and enslave their followers like we R seeing 2day?





    *lips sealed and watching*

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  9. It is truly the problem with us, some of us have foolishly used religion to justify our muguness.

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  10. We were just talking about a colleague of ours who went to the hospital to dress his wounds and the "so-called" nurse tried to dress the wounds with her bare hands, then the guy asks her if she hasn't heard of Ebola and she started pleading the blood of Jesus and saying she is a child of God, she has dominion over all sickness..."medical personnel" oooo, I just can't with Nigerians jor

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  11. It is a problem and woe betides you if you find yourself in a church like the one my family and I attended in 2003 and left in 2011. My mum was invited by her elder sister to this 'church' and I was persuaded into attending so my siblings would also attend as I was the eldest and my dad had just died. Initially it seemed ok until the pastor started seeing all sorts and saying all sorts....false prophecies and the likes. My family and I saw hell! We were trapped! He used our helplessness and ignorance to manipulate us. I missed several admission opportunities, career opportunities and even marriage opportunities because..'daddy' said the lord said. I left in 2011 and I have not being the same for good...though I found it hard to go close to any pastor when I joined my present church because I no want 'God say' but I am glad that God has mercifully restored Life and added Value to my life again. Yes there are spiritual beings but I have learnt that as a Christian you should know God personally and the Holy Spirit will tell you what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes I feel we as Nigerians are so much interested in hearing that one big thing dey pursue us, though in some cases its true(tell me one black person who doesn't) but I have with the help of God pushed and today I am not where even those who knew me in Pastor Ifeanyi's church could imagine. Regards to you Thelma and everyone else reading this blog. ....JoyDaNuGirl

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  12. I have a friend who whenever she's sick refuses to take drugs na so so it is well, it is well!
    Religious fanatics is a disease by itself. Where a woman won't take care of her hygiene because we shouldn't use deodorant and perfumes because they contain alcohol.
    They remain virgins till their wedding night yet the church doesn't seem it appropriate to highlight sex education after marriage. A lot of Christians who waited are facing serious sex sile as after marriage, so bad that some men have had the need to go out to fulfill their sexual desires and fantasies.
    I was a member of a Christian FB group and the Qs and As literally got me dumbfounded.i had to just delete myself coz we weren't of the same thinking capacity.religion has turned some ppl to robots. You can't even have a proper discussion with these guys, their lingo no pass it is well", hell no it isn't well. They can't think by themselves jeez
    Some say the use of sex toys is evil, others oral sex .
    Babes I'm so over the fanatism in naija.know God enough for yourself and ask him those questions he wi reveal them to you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm 15th but give to the next person that comments.J

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh your last post. Ohhhh I love games like this.J

    ReplyDelete
  15. Everyone has said well.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Religion! Spirituality! I am tempted not to comment because I have advised myself to avoid sensitive posts like this..... But..... i have this pull....well, here goes:

    Religion in the hands of the arrogant, ambitious and a dictator is a lethal weapon!
    Poverty makes people to latch to anything or anybody that would give them hope and succor.
    Prosperity messages came about during the depression era, and opportunist hijacked the message to bleed believers!
    Many religious leaders are spiritually corrupt! They put their congregation under a hypnotic cocoon, that their followers can 'kill' anybody that dare say anything negative about their god of men!

    I don't believe in religion, but in GOD.
    GOD is NOT a Christian or a Muslim or a Buddhist or a Hindu, HE is simply LOVE!
    I believe in spirituality, and like every thing mankind touches, they abuse it! And the underworld always makes a counterfeit of GOD'S work and manifestation to deceive and destroy HIS creatures which they sworn to do when they were cast down from heaven onto the earth after the heavenly war.

    Regarding the post and comments, it is the wife ONLY that can truly say the reason behind her action. If he has tried every other method to overcome this problem without COMMUNICATING with her, to know the ROOT of her problem , then no TRUE solution can be proffered by readers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @New Dawn you couldn't have it any better----UG

      Delete
  17. The problem with us is..
    1.We have been brain washed in the name of religion hence misunderstanding the whople concept.
    2.We no longer worship God but our pastors;whatever they say is final even if we feel or know its wrong..
    3 we believe everything that happened is spiritually connected,that someone somewhere is responsible for our failure or success.
    4.Most of us do not believe in the interpersonal relationship with God,we feel God answers our prayers only through our pastors..
    And the list goes on.

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  18. A few years ago, I was sent on an assignment from Lagos to PH. I then went to visit a childhood friend of mine whose wife had just had a baby. One thing led to another and they insisted I stay with them instead of a hotel.

    Night comes and this boys starts crying. Next thing i hear are people 'cabashing' and praying for the evil spirit of crying that was tormenting their baby. When I came out, they implored me to join in. I looked at the child covered from head to toe - head, body tube, gloves - and i knew he was just crying from the heat. I took my friends car keys, and with their permission, i carriied the baby outside, went into the car and put on the air-conditioner. The poor lad slept off immediately!

    God gave us all a head to think and reason. "Go ye into the world, be FRUITFUL and multiply" was not just for population explosion. It didnt say "multiply and be fruitful". Fruitfullness will include resourcefulness and smart thinking.

    I read the same post and I must tell you that from the accounts of the man, he had tried everything within his power including trying to find out what could have caused it but the woman refused to communicate. I had so many questions buzzing around in my head but I wont let them come out for the singular reason that we have not heard her own side of the story. Till then, ka Chineke mezie okwu!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I had a friend in secondary school, she was thee head of the christian fellowship @ school (pentecostal churches). While we were preparing for our exams (Waec) she was more engrossed organizing programmes, she didn't yield our advise that Heaven help those who help themselves, the exams came and went by, she had the worst result in the entire class of '99.

    In the University, a course mate attending one of these funky new generation churches where men curl/perm their hair, a conversation ensued btw the lady and I. She complained that she needed to raise a certain amount for seed sowing ahead of the pastors bday, her cell had been mandated to raise half a million, her share/cut was abt 70k, this lady had just managed to pay her fees o. I tried to make her understand that it was morally wrong to impose such on ordinary students, you need to see the convictionwith which she spoke that it's faith, bla bla.

    What baffled me the most was that she said she would donate her liver or kidney if she were called to do so for the sake of the head of the church. I then asked, would you donate ur liver/kidney to any of your parents if they needed it, her answer was an Emphatic NO, reason!!! They man of God had a higher calling.

    That was how I stopped talking to the girl o, cos, her case was severe, bfor she donate me to her coven abi na cell. I only hope she has been liberated from thee spell. CEOH

    ReplyDelete
  20. I had a friend in secondary school, she was thee head of the christian fellowship @ school (pentecostal churches). While we were preparing for our exams (Waec) she was more engrossed organizing programmes, she didn't yield our advise that Heaven help those who help themselves, the exams came and went by, she had the worst result in the entire class of '99.

    In the University, a course mate attending one of these funky new generation churches where men curl/perm their hair, a conversation ensued btw the lady and I. She complained that she needed to raise a certain amount for seed sowing ahead of the pastors bday, her cell had been mandated to raise half a million, her share/cut was abt 70k, this lady had just managed to pay her fees o. I tried to make her understand that it was morally wrong to impose such on ordinary students, you need to see the convictionwith which she spoke that it's faith, bla bla.

    What baffled me the most was that she said she would donate her liver or kidney if she were called to do so for the sake of the head of the church. I then asked, would you donate ur liver/kidney to any of your parents if they needed it, her answer was an Emphatic NO, reason!!! They man of God had a higher calling.

    That was how I stopped talking to the girl o, cos, her case was severe, bfor she donate me to her coven abi na cell. I only hope she has been liberated from thee spell. CEOH

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sorry for the typo's, watching jack Bauer n typing ceoh

    ReplyDelete
  22. Everyone has said plenty.. make i take d recharge card na... T me i don tire for religious matter n d truth is its almost d samething everywhere in the world so i no dey talk abt am again. Last 3 digit of my phone no... 079

    ReplyDelete

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