This evening I had a chat with Sasha Bone and another blog reader and over drinks we discussed a few things. What set this particular line of conversation in full force was today's Aso Ebi Bella on Bella Naija, I guess it also had something to do with the last topic; dress code at weddings.
So we looked at some of the styles and some of the (unnecessary) baring of one's flesh and mammaries. At some point I blurted out "Why wear that to someone's wedding?", to which Sasha Bone immediately replied "Why not? The bride is getting hooked. Single chics have to find their own too.".
Have you attended a wedding and be hit hard with the stench of Struggle in the air, the single lady's struggle? You walk in and you feel like you're about to be submerged in a sea of women. The ladies are a sight to behold that it becomes very easy to forget there's a wedding going on; the reason you're all there in the first place. The ladies are all over the place, in all colours, shapes and sizes; tall, short, average height, skinny, fat, obese, curvy, voluptuous, dark skinned, light skinned, the unnaturally light skinned, high maintenance, low maintenance, average maintenance. All sorts!
And the worst part about this sometimes is that you look around and you DO NOT SEE ANY SINGLE MEN. I mean you see a few men but they're all married..... And how do you know they're married? I'll tell you: before your gaze wonders down to his fingers to further investigate the prospects you feel someone's stare burn right into you, you look to his side and you see this lady with a no-nonsense 'don't even think about it' look on her face, she holds your gaze and stares you down, till you look away shamefaced and uncomfortably chew on your finger nails in humiliation.
But we didn't really focus on single ladies at weddings, today we talked about the chics on Aso Ebi Bella. The other blog reader is of the opinion that this is just another, smarter way for single ladies to advertise themselves. To her it so obviously goes beyond showing off one's dress and gele; these girls sew these provocative styles, wear the most expensive shoes and even pay professional makeup artists to give them a makeover just for the occasion (#IsItYourWedding?). Then they take pictures, use the most flattering filters, tag Bella Naija and voila, their pictures are put up on one of the biggest blogs in the country. And oh, not just their pictures, more importantly; their handles! That way a "hunter" can peruse Aso Ebi Bella like a catalogue and immediately follow an interesting-looking prospect, nay, future wifey on Instagram and the man-woman ritual begins.
It was a very interesting conversation and I'm not saying this is in fact the reason behind the Aso Ebi Bella craze. But even if it is, I shan't knock anybody's hustle.
Or as a single lady, have you never "advertised" your wares to a potential Significant Other? Me I have o! In fact I remember this particular occasion I went out for dinner with a friend and there was this really cute tall drink of brown chocolate checking me out. That day I unwittingly wore a ring on the fourth finger of my left hand. The minute I saw this guy glance at me I immediately put my hands under the table and switched the ring to my index finger. Hia! Biko kwa the struggle is indeed real. I cannot be sleeping on a bicycle.
Where do you guys think a single lady should draw the line in the search for that life partner? Should no measures be spared provided no one is getting hurt and she doesn't appear too desperate. What's your general opinion of single ladies' struggle? What has your own experience been?
Photo source: www.deviantart.com