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This Lagos Sef...

Last night I went out with a few friends, nothing serious really. We were just to have something light somewhere around and return home. We got there and true to form, I became agitated and restless after a couple of hours and wanted to leave. *Ese noticed my restlessness and said "Is everything ok? I noticed you've been restless. We're talking and you keep playing with you ipad and your phone. I mean, who does that?". I decided to ignore the biting tone of the 'Who does that?' as Ese is a friend of a friend and we've not gotten to the point where we can be rude to each other without being offended and offensive. I gave a little 'it's not you, it's me' speech and excused myself from the table. I went outside and basically walked along the road for a few minutes. Went back upstairs feeling even more agitated, which Ese noticed once again. She then suggested that since I was so restless we could go somewhere else. I wanted to tell her that the place I wanted to go was home, but so as not to come off as difficult and a spoil sport, I agreed.

This was around 9.30pm. We went to Switch and had their platter (a tray of grilled chicken, peppered snails, diced goat meat and peppered gizzard). As soon as the meal was over it was decided that we go back home. This was after 11.30pm. 

Ese took the bridge home to Ikoyi. *Bola and I went in the other direction, I'd promised to drop Bola at home. Unfortunately at 11:45 along Lekki expressway we encountered traffic. My first thought was that it's only in Lagos that you'll see traffic at 12midnight. It was a Friday night though, so I wasn't surprised. I thought we'll be there for a few minutes. A few minutes turned into over 3 hours. 

This guy in black has the cutest face and the sexiest sideburns... Shame I couldn't get a picture of his face. 

12.13am. Our ordeal had only just begun. 

This last picture was taken at about 2.30am. It's only in Lagos that you'll see somebody hawking soft drinks and gala at that time of the night, or morning... (hashtag-CityOfHustlers. LOL)

Now I'll tell you the amazing thing about this traffic. While some became so exhausted and fell asleep with their engines running, some others switched off their engines, reclined their seats and slept off peacefully, some others however decided to network. Lagos I hail thee! People came out of their cars, socialized, greeted each other, exchanged complimentary cards, shared drinks etc. Oh boy, there were some hotties in that traffic! A few of them flirted with Bola and I, some glared at us as if the traffic was our fault and then one man wearing a white Agbada, a cap and a white vest came to our window. He tapped on the glass and began to chat us up, then he asked for my complimentary card. I told him I wasn't with any. As I was taking down his number at his insistence, the cars in front of mine moved and I had to move. I lost him then.

But I told Bola I wasn't happy. Of all the mennnnnn on that road it was my grandfather's agemate that came to toast me. That sucks.

At 3am my fuel went into reserve and it was then we knew that sh*t just got real. Eventually at about 3.30am the traffic began to ease up a bit and cars started moving at snail's pace. I dropped Bola off and got home after 4am. 
I was meant to return to the site at Edo state today but I was too exhausted to make it. Will go tomorrow or next. 

*News just in. 
Bola just called. Ese wants us to go out again tonight. 
I bid them farewell, my bones are too old and too weak for marathon Girls Night Out. 

...But I told her to call me in two hours; I may just be up for it. 


  1. Can't live in Lagos. Even if I'm paid. Never.

  2. Hmmmm wit if u r hooked in traffic Qagain like yesterday nd dat same man comes to u again......what ll u do

  3. Lagos traffic is not for the faint hearted

  4. Hmmmm wit if u r hooked in traffic Qagain like yesterday nd dat same man comes to u again......what ll u do

  5. Thelma the night crawler. Flex jare.

  6. no be small thing! I left warri for Lagos by road ( big big mistake) yesterday and got into my house by 10:30pm. My kids refused to hug me until I had showered and sanitised my hands.

    1. Lol. Smart kids.

    2. Eazee E is married. Are all the men on this blog married? Nawa o.

    3. Hmmmmmm.......I have never hidden it that I am, dear Anon. Wonder not for we shall give u expo if and when u need!

  7. Ese didnt experience the traffic,so i wldnt blame her.
    As for Bola,she must have some reserve batteries stored

  8. Lagos truly nawa o,I have come down 4rm a bus and trekked 4rm ojota till almost mile 12 cos of traffic. I have bin tryin to win dis credit for 2days nau :( on a side note

  9. Thelma I was in the traffic too. It was an accident.

  10. Safe journey thelma. 480

  11. Tee stay at home, get some rest ok. 848.

  12. Do all the girls night out now that you can. The time is coming when too much of domestic responsibilities will not allow you. However, not at the detriment of your health.


  13. Used to love those kinds of traffic, anything to allow the boys shutdown and start a different kind of fun. Vehicle loaded with booze with nice jams to go with it! Wouldn't have gone home alone, things we did when we were young and silly!

  14. Heard a tanker was on fire

  15. Lagos n can't love or hate that city mhen!

  16. I was in Lagos for my vacation and the moment I got out of the airport, I made up my mind that my next vacation won't be in Lagos by God's grace.

  17. Kpele! Good you stayed indoors to rest.

  18. Chai! That one bad gan o, traffic at that time of the night. Lagos tins, heheh nawa


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