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We Always Want What We Cannot Have...

Yesterday evening, having slept through most of the day I decided I needed to get some air. These days my social activities seem extremely limited. Two weekends ago I was meant to go watch a play at Terra Kulture with some of my friends from Queen's College. I'd really looked forward to it because Isi just got into town from PH where she relocated to after her wedding, Tinu's been married almost a year now and has been so busy with work and marriage and is always in and out of the country, Ada lives and works on the other side of town so we don't see too often although we're constantly in touch and Bukky... Bukky is the busiest of the lot, one of the youngest managers in one of Nigeria's premium New Generation banks, Bukky is extremely busy and usually gets called in for work at the oddest minutes, which also include whenever we're all meant to meet up. Also Bukky's boo just proposed a few days before our planned hang out, so this would have been really fun. After the play we would have had dinner or something and had one of those legendary 'Women's Round Table' moments where no topic is spared. Unfortunately that was the same period I got called to go to Abuja for a job. And that's basically the only fun thing that's (almost) happened to me in recent times. So yesterday I called a friend and blog reader who stays nearby and we decided to go out and see what was going on.

Somewhere in my mind I'd already planned to do Cold Stone so we headed there. It was while driving there that *David called me to know where I was. He was a few minutes away from Cold Stone so he came to join us there. I didn't know how much I'd missed David. I honestly had no idea. Being a very expressive person, I wanted to hug him tight and shriek "Good lord, I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!". Unfortunately he now has a girlfriend so there are now boundaries. I gave him a side hug and smiled politely at him.
     Within minutes after he sat he looked at me and said "Nwando I've missed you" and then as though I'd just seen him for the first time I blurted out "You're so cute!". Damn, he is really so cute though. "Your eyes are so beautiful...and slanted, like a Chinese baby's'" I said. "They've always been this way Nwando. YOU just didn't SEE them" he said warmly. 
      How come I never 'saw' them? How come I never noticed his slanted eyes or that he looks like a well-fed oriental baby? How come I never fell in love with those green eyes till last night? How come I never noticed the soft pink lips....ok I did, but how come they never affected me the way they did last night? How come in all the time he'd asked me out I never gave him more than a flitting thought but last night I imagined walking down the aisle with him and pictured our cherubic mixed-race babies with slanted eyes? How come How come How come?

After I dropped my friend off, I drove past my place and decided I would rather sleep over at *Nkechi's boo's place. Nkechi and her boo are two of my closest friends in Lagos, they're like family to me. I told them about that piece of the evening and Nkechi asked how long David and his babe have been dating. I told her it's been about three months and she said "Nwando you can still get him". I looked at her boyfriend and he didn't argue with her (the two of them argue for sport). Hmmm, the wise older man thought I could still get him?.... For a flitting second and for the very first time in my adult life I seriously thought about 'snatching' someone's man, I coveted another girl's boo and in that flitting second I already knew how I was going to go about it; it would be hard because David is a very principled nice guy who would think twice or thrice before hurting someone who loves him BUT he still has feelings for me so that makes the ground softer, yes?...

That flitting moment passed and I told Nkechi I wouldn't, I just can't. To which she repeated about three more times; "You can still get him Nwando". 

That's besides that point though, I'm no 'home-wrecker' (admittedly in typical girl manner I now want him, but only if he comes back on his own.). The question is why do we always want what we cannot have? Why do things suddenly begin to look so good the minute someone else has it? Why does the (newly) unavailable suddenly become extremely desirable?

Good morning guys. 


  1. Nwando, you are so real. Lemme second their opinion, you can still get him. However, before you express your feelings to him please and please pray to God and ask him to direct you if this is the right path. If after praying you still feel for him, then all will fall in place

  2. Oh dear! I know this feeling so well and YES you can still get him and i think you should, but be careful how you go about it, just don't want you getting hurt. #hugs

  3. Really Nwando? This is not good! I feel sorry for that David. I can imagine his eyes, droopy n lovely! Oh please snatch him. Snatch him. And love him.

  4. Good morning Thelma.
    I don't think it's nice to set out to woo him because you're well aware of his relationship. But then a lot of us are "self-full" when it's about getting what we desire.
    I'd rather you keep being friends with him and basically be just yourself. If he isn't getting what he wants out of his relationship, he just might ask you out again soon. Then you'd be free in what ever way.

    1. Thank u cccc,y'all sayin she shd go get d guy even tho he's seeing sumone rite now are all ass kissers.i wonder if u wld feel d same way if some oda gal was tryn to get ur man.Do unto others......Well,u know d rest.i hate gurls who think like dat.i hate boyfriend/husband snatchers

    2. Exactly! Why should she get him now? Just be his friend (genuinely) and don't hope for anything. If it's set to happen it will.

  5. Well since u said he still have feelings 4 U, u can still get him. He might have chosen 2 date this new girl bcoz u weren't given him the greenlight 4 all I care. He might be feeling d same way U R feeling abt him. But u don't have 2 woo him tho. U R a woman, so I believe u shld know d cards 2 play in such situation. jes do ur thang and things would fall in place if u guys R meant 2 be.
    All the best.

    *lips sealed and watching*

    1. Eesah is everywhere.

    2. But frankly speaking, idk if il be comfortable with a guy chasing me when he has a gf and saying he will break up with his current boo if I agree to date him. So will he dump me after another babe says yes ? Karma pple. Karma

  6. Dating is different from engagement, David is an open game IMHO and remain one until things move into the engagement zone. However, going after him could be mean and shows desperation, just be friends and you will know if/when he becomes available.

  7. I don't remember the topic right now but Thelma you should remember that story you wrote about the girl that hooked her friend up with a guy she liked cos she thought they were in the same calibre and the guy eventually came for her the eve of his wedding. You know the rest of the story. Don't wait for that long thing process, go for him! Good luck T.

    1. Hey Eniola, your comment made me ROTFL; how is it that other people remember stuff I've written and I don't? Weird. People refer me to stuff I wrote in the past and I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about and it begins to look like I copied and pasted someone else's work on my blog. I swear it took me almost three minutes to remember the story you're talking about. Thanks for the advice sweetie.

  8. I'll second the opinion of being his genuine friend, nothing extra. If he still feels strongly about U like uv made us believed Nwando, He'll certainly come back. Just keep ur cool so u don't hurt urself, David & his girl.

    U may not really like him, u just crave him cos he's taken but time will tell. Relax Nne.

  9. Don't try it o... Karma is a female dog... If it's Gods will, he will come back to u with little effort on ur part. Xoxo..

    1. Karma is a female dog.......hahahahahahahaha.....

  10. Hmm... Thelma, u remembered i wrote u a post where i introduced my male friend that likes me to my female friend all cuz i was in some relationship then and immediately i did the introduction i knew i shouldnt have cuz i saw so many signs that he was for me. Well i left everything to God and started praying for God's intervention and I told my Pastor in church about it. I maintained my friendship with both parties and did not interfere in their matters after i did the introduction. The whole thing scattered like a month into the relationship and my male friend is very convinced also that we are meant for each other. A few weeks after my female friend called to tell me how she was praying when she was in the relationship that if they re not meant to be that God should scatter them and that she is now very happy in her new relationship and sent me pix of her and the new guy. I told her am happy for her and didnt say more. Now my male friend wants us to start dating officially but i dont know what my female friend would say, i know it would hurt her to know that the guy has deep feelings for me but then we are praying to God for perfection over this matter.

  11. *in gravelly old wise man voice* forced the bird out of the cage. since u let it go, let it be. if it's urs, it will come back. ka Chineke mezie okwu!

  12. Thelma you cant be that desperate...well i hope not..dont just go down that road. Its not a road you want to travel on....leave him to his girlfriend and if its meant to will be.

  13. Maybe you just lust after him that very moment... just try getting into his pants and let's see how the feelings will flow honey..


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