Good evening good people. I'm so sorry, the weekend has been insane. I'm all over the place trying to find buyers for some properties (the last post and a few others), had a couple of meetings set up, only for my mum to call me last minute to say that she was paid to cook for 200 people and I know she's not as "young as she used to be" so I had to rush over and get to work. Got home a few minutes ago, long story short; Sorry.
So I just got off the phone with one the most amazing individuals God created. My friend *Ezinne is such a wonderful person and I'm so blessed to have crossed paths with her in this life. The basic gist of our phone call was her wedding plans and her fiancé.
Basically these two young people aren't privileged to have families assist them financially so the wedding ceremonies and their new home are more or less on their shoulders alone. They're looking for a new place, neither is based in Lagos at the moment but they will move to Lagos after the wedding. I was telling her what rent is like in different parts of town and I could hear her wonder just how things will work out, every few minutes she muttered "I'm not worried, God is in control".
They've both got jobs, the pay isn't fantastic and in an unguarded moment my friend let something slip, something I doubt she would have easily admitted to anyone else; "Sometimes I just wish I'm marrying a guy who's already very comfortable. One that all I have to do is just pack my things and move in... Let me shut up sha". She hurriedly said. I could perfectly understand how she felt, but I reminded her of women we both know who got married to rich husbands several years ago, but are today wallowing in poverty and struggling to feed.
After I told her that and she said that was why she actually asked herself to shut up, I added "At least now that you guys are starting from the bottom, there's no where else to go but up. And knowing this, you guys would do everything within your power to make sure that you move up". This seemed to really inspire and console her, then on a lighter note she laughed and said;
"But Nwando so you know that life is just very funny? Ever since I got engaged if you see the kind of suitors I've been having ehn! Correct guys, clean well-monied guys, the types that I won't even have to worry about a thing. Suddenly they're just all over me. Kai!" We laughed and I told her she should just 'remove' her mind from there. Her response is the reason behind this post:
"Hmmm, babe my mind is not there, not even one tiny bit. I have no doubt about *Goke, I've never been more sure about anything else in my life, this one, I am sure of. This is my husband, there is no question about it my sister. I'm just amused at the way all these rich men suddenly sprang up. But I don't care o! I have no doubt about Goke, he is my husband". She said this with very strong conviction and confidence.
Her response brought to mind something I've always been curious about. I remember the first time I asked one of our popular blog readers to mail me; it was solely to ask him "Why did you marry your wife? What were those characteristics you saw in her that made you decide that out of all other women she was the one?".
I'm asking the married ones among us today and I'm hoping you'll indulge me and satiate my curiousity:
Did you marry your spouse out of love, or were there other reasons?
Why did you marry your spouse? Were they the only option you had or were there other reasons?
What were these reasons?
What characteristic(s) did your spouse possess that made them the ones you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
And for us single ones; what are those characteristics that once present in a suitor or a prospect, seal the deal for you, What are your deal-makers?