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10 Things I'd Smack You For.





Well, here goes!


1. Always complying everytime I say "come and eat". Dude, seriously, I'm just being polite!

2. Always having an opinion on everything, especially everything about me. Just DON'T!

3. Tactlessly seeing me out and about and screaming "Waaawu (wow) you have added weight oooo!". Seriously?

4. Unashamedly copying from my exam sheet, word for word, without asking for my permission and without having the decency to look guilty or embarassed. The nerves!

5. Watching me eat and saying nothing at all and just as I'm about to lift the last (and often juciest) piece of chicken into my mouth you quickly say "Please can I have that?". NO. 

6. Refusing to get your own food because you're "not hungry" or you "have no appetite" but when mine comes you want to share it with me. Hell NO

7. Starting a sentence with "no offense meant, but..." when you have every intention of being offensive. *SMH*

8. Saying "with all due respect" when you know fully well you're about to be disrespectful. *RME*

9. Running your fingers through my scalp to check if I'm wearing a weave or not and we're not even friends. Boundaries people. Boundaries!

10. You're over 25 and you still write words like serzly, iono, idk, k, etc. Nna beht why?



I can imagine a million things I'd smack someone for but im'ma just share a few and leave room for you guys. What would you (metaphorically) smack someone for? Let's have fun!



Comments

  1. Ur #3 & #8... applies to me too.

    Well, here goes:
    #1: starting a conversation with 'sup' or 'wasup'. We AINT ever chatting. Like go to school 1st.

    #2: A guy meeting me for the 1st time & "collecting a hug" by force. Dude, ur a step away from a slap!

    #3: Esp in the bus, turning my wrist to check the time. No boundaries with some souls.

    #4: Calling & Saying "ah Ruth u just forget me oh". Because na only me get network. *long hiss*

    #5: Entering my house with ur footwear! I don't care if it's Nick Cannons 380 million naira shoes, U are leaving my house that instant.

    Enough biko, lemme go & keep chatting with Le Prospective Boo.

    Thelma I Really MISS U! #Kisses

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruthylicious this is the kind of post you like. See how you quickly typed. Lol

      Delete
    2. LOL. I wish my friends are all on this blog so they'll catch their sub.

      Delete
    3. Ruthylicious should I be worried? How can you miss me when I didn't go anywhere? When it's you who's been drifting away. LOL. BTW we need status update on the new love interest.

      Delete
    4. Awww *batting eyelashes*
      I'll be sure to drop comments.
      Thanks. :)

      Delete
  2. Lmao. Thelma ur list is hilarious. I can relate to 5 and 6. So annoying. As for copy copy people cover ur work ni.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Changing the channel when I'm engrossed in something. Ruthylicious give us gist

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lol T..here goes mine:
    1. Someone asking me "where are you?" especially when I don't really know you.
    2. Sweeping/mopping and someone's walking about..lord knows I'd hit you so hard. Are you blind?
    3. Comfortably using up my airtime,talking to your generation when all you asked for was only a minute ooo.
    4. Coming to my house unannounced.
    5. Using my things and not keeping them just the way you saw it/handling them with care.
    When I think of more,I'd add them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Biko what's RME?anyways,make I add my own 1.BEING younger dan I am n I take u as a frnd but u refuse to recognize or keep dat little room for respect.2.using my things without my permission even if u are my sis,I would really get mad.3.meeting a guy for d first time and after few days of conversation,he den ask"when are u gonna come cook for me"chai u dey look for nanny before?. 4.dipping ur hands into my food without my permission,yukk it pisses me off no matter d closeness 5. Practically condemning my hairstyle without caution like sey na you give me d money.gudnite all

    ReplyDelete
  6. Okay so it's 2:55am T (I guess I can call you that) and iv been stuck on your blog for over 3 days now(i don't know if that's a good thing because I have been sleeping pretty late! Lol!) I even went as far as reading old posts and mehn! I've laughed soo hard! Reflected on some things... learned too! and i'm like where have you guys been all this while!!! Lol... I feel like I know everyone here... Wale, Ruthylicious, Sasha bone, Memphis, Ifunanya Ekene, phransea, Ujubiebe(apprently T's friend), anon -f, anon naughty housewife... lol... I guess those are the names that stuck in my head due to reading and laughing over their comments! lol!!!
    By the way Thelma, very insightful and interesting posts!

    And yeah my pet peeve is you constantly doing what you know I don't like because you know you'll always say "i'm sorry' and i'll have to overlook it. (how about you not doing it at all. That works!!!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yh,Ruthie is one xter. Still trying to figure out how to dance the Sekem she said in an old post..lol
      Pls stick around and don't be a passive visitor. Try to drop a comment or two...

      Delete
    2. Anon 11:11 which kin gist biko? #CoveringYaMouth u go like amebo oh.

      Kabuoy, WELCOME to our home of awesomeness! We love u already but listen to Sasha & drop comments so we'll know U more ok?

      Sasha, don't be greedy na. I need money. U need knowledge. Pay me so i'll send u a video of the sekem tutorial. *Singing* "open ya leg, one hand for ya waist, one hand for ya head, Oya sekem"

      Delete
    3. U wc kabouy....drop comments oh...it makes the blog come alive...I don't like when people soil my toilet...especially during parties....chai,I can live with the rest....Ruth how do you sekem oh...me I yaf tried sotey my leg nearly peel for ground....abeg send Thelma video make she upload now..that naughty house wife

      Delete
    4. Welcome kabouy do not be a stranger oh ur in the right place. @ruthy I know whr and how to get this gist can't beliv uv been hoarding info #straightface. @NHW and Sasha if u watched maltina dance hall yesterday uld have seen the sekem moves nna I learnt it sharp sharp and even performed for my boys the way Sean was crying don't know if it was out of fright or due to the fact that I did it really well it brought tears to his eyes...

      Delete
    5. Hahahahaha. Phransea you did it too well that Sean burst out in tears of joy. Choi!

      Delete
    6. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  7. I hate when i meet smone newly and he already calls me 'baby'.
    I can smack u if u ask for a pic of what i look like now, dats planting a seed to ask for a nude pic in d future.
    I hate when you pick up my phone n start going through my pictures.
    When i remember others, i ll add em.

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1) Waking before me and making a hellova noise forgetting I'm still sleeping. I can stone u if I'm in a good mood.
    2) Calling at the middle of the night only to spend like 5mins. An sms wld have sufficed
    3) Finding flaws in my cooking esp when I didn't ask ur opinion bout the food.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bia nwa, I've actually never tasted your cooking, partly because I'm scared of your cooking, mainly because you make so much reference to it, could that be because people always find flaws in your cooking, which could be because your cooking might need some work???
      #JustSaying.
      But you can dispel my fears by making a pot of coconut rice with both oporo and shrimp, and dry fish and sea snails for me tomorrow, or today. You decide. You can make it at your place or mine, you decide. You can bring it over or I can come a pick it up. You decide...
      Ok I need to shut up now... but I'm serious tho.

      Delete
    2. N0 2. Calling at midnight and the question goes " Are u sleeping"? I wish i could pass my hands through the phone and smack u on the face!!

      Delete
  9. 1. start greetings or conversations with wats up/sup/zup/wassup/wad up/aw far/hey. Lord! I'll tell you to your face I don't subscribe to such greetings.
    2. abbreviating simple words when chatting or messaging e.g. kk, yea, yup, aiit, wlc. jess! I'd warn you straight off to please don't give me such things or better still remind you, you are an adult so please, fulling spellings are allowed.
    3. Wake me from my beauty sleep. Once slapped a friend back then which resulted into a serious fight. Small me then oo
    4. take or use my things without my permission. chio, siblings sha, I love them
    5. Calling me "baby" when I barely know you. Dang! my name is Sylvia please.

    Good Morning to you all and TGIF!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am generally tolerant of people but a couple actions would make me smack or wack them.

    - Do not ever call me a liar, no matter the circumstances or you will be wacked, that you find it difficult believing people does not make eveybody a liar.
    - People seeking financial assistance but using latest gadgets and wearing designer apparels, please take your stupidity elsewhere.
    - Asking if I won't invite you to join in eating, there is a reason I did not; the food wont be enough for both of us.
    - You opened my fridge and took the last portion of any of the food items in there, I will wack you!
    - Telling me I don't ask after you, worse when I was the one that called or visited last. I will cut you off.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I hate it when:
    1. Someone calls me by 1 a.m. and asks 'Are you sleeping' or 'Did i wake you up'. Nope i was picking beans!!!!
    2. A matured guy old enough to be a grandpa sagging his trousers.
    3. People comment on ma personal affairs when their input or advice wasn't asked for.

    ReplyDelete
  13. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com10:57 am, September 19, 2014

    I'd smack when:
    I find a place dirty and clean up, then you don't help maintain its clean state.
    Step on my shoes at the entrance with the sole of your own shoes.
    Ask to use a minute of my airtime and you just take my approval for that one minute to mean, you can sing to your caller on my call credit.
    You think we are close enough so you deep your hand in my food without permission.
    You go do your shopping and leave some items out because you know I have them.
    Applying my lipstick directly on your lips.

    ReplyDelete
  14. When I'm called a liar, I don't want to understand whether somethings are just too Good/Bad to be true, Well it happend to me.

    Don't accuse me falsely, STFU if u are short of words.*we fit fight oh*

    Don't use any of my property without Permission, even when u've asked, plz wait 4 permission. *we fit fight oh*
    If we have an appointment for 3pm and u come by 4pm . Bottom line I HATE DISAPPOINTMENT.

    Lastly, when My Mum lies to me (ofcourse its for the greater good). Mum, I don't care!!!!!!!
    Aaarrrgghh! It hurts me so bad! I feel like punching somthing, thankGod u're my Mum cos I can't smack you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. *Don't put your hand inside my food without my permission
    *Don't ask me where and how much i bought the food am eating(operation about to beg)
    *Don't ever Urinate and not flush( I could slice ur vagina and dice ur penis)
    *Don't try to be rude when I ask you for MY money u have been owing for months
    *Don't ever snap at me all in the name of mood swing if you are not my boss(I will pinch off ur tongue in the name of finger swing)
    *Don't ever ask me to send you a sexy pics of me(even tho I look sexy 24/7 *winks)
    *Don't always have an experience on every topic like Ruthylicious************ewooooooo,I am about to get spanked *******runzaway

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. I feel your last point

      Delete
    2. That last point sha! Hmmm......*fear no go let me talk oo*

      Delete
    3. Rotflmsao!!!! BlogIt U are a clown! Btw, that's MY opinion! #TongueOut

      But when uv lived a fun & fulfilling life like mine, u can't help but always share! Some of us do live, we don't just exist. That's why my positives are infectious.
      #PopsCollar

      Delete
  16. Alot of mine have been mentioned but I'll name few more:

    * You eat loudly, i.e. your mouth makes so much noise while eating...arrrrgghhhh
    * You snore like a moving Nigerian train, please don't sleep beside me (or at least warn me in advance so I can get an ipod with good music and ear piece)
    * You take my thing without asking first (this can make me burst a vein)
    * Don't teach me my job when I have not asked for your help (I have a colleague who is fond of offering unsolicited helps)

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  17. Please... Do not snore if we're going to be sharing a room together..
    Don't use any of my personal belongings without my permission.
    Respect my space!
    Ruthy.. Your come back made me LMSAO..
    U're a nut case and I love you #muah
    I just love this blog mehn..

    ReplyDelete

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