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19yr old Girl Pregnant For Security Man. Who's To Blame?

I saw these tweets on  Laila's blog and what I find most interesting is that the girl is adamant about not being raped, which means that the sex was consensual (sounds to me like this chica has "caught feelings" for the gateman). In situations like these everyone is quick to point fingers at the parents and accuse them of poor parenting; the child wasn't given good home training, the parents didn't teach her sex education, the parents didn't bring her up the proper way etc. 

All these might actually be the case, but are the parents always at fault when a child doesn't turn out well?

In any case... what would you do if you find yourself in similar shoes?
Security man isn't guilty of rape so to have the police arrest him is not in order
The girl is above 18
They're both consenting adults...
To the prolife; would you allow your child keep this pregnancy and keep the baby?
To the prochoice; would you demand she has the baby removed, and insist if she refuses?



  1. Hmm...I am prochoice but if she insists on keeping the baby,she's gonna be soley responsible but then again,as the mother/parent it wld be hard throwing the baby away with the bath water.
    Maybe I might give her extra-streneous chores just to make her miscarry...I really donno!

  2. @Thelms what? No comment on dz one. Taking the back seat.

    *spreads mat, sits down and waiting for comments 2 roll in*

  3. But the girl is more than 18 na.... If it wasn't their gateman, it could have been someone else's gateman.
    I don't think the parents of a 19 yr old girl pregnant to the gateman are any more to blame than the parents of a 25yr old at University pregnant for her sugar daddy.
    People need to take responsibility for their actions.

  4. I am Pro-life all the way. She wasn't raped and she's not underage, so counselling her (and the security-man) would be less difficult.

  5. Am Speechless sincerely,though I as a person doesn't support abortion she would have to keep the baby and face the shame,aborting the baby would mean murder and sometimes some things are meant to happen in our LIVES for us to learn from them.

  6. With regards to the baby, it's a difficult situation.
    But first, I feel like there's a tendency for people's judgement to be slightly skewed in this scenario because he is the gateman. She knew of his profession beforehand, and obviously had no issues with it, so why should others?
    With regards to the baby, well, I am pro-life. I think children are a gift from God, and should be treasured as such.
    What I have always said is anyone who feels they are in a stage in their life when it's Ok to have sex should acknowledge that they are also at that stage in their life to deal with the aftermath of sex = baby.

  7. I believe that once you have an abortion, theres a tendency to keep having them,with that said she's keeping the baby and Ill make sure oju ee ri maaabo not necessarily because its a gate man but because is her life, her actions and she should be made to understand the consequences.
    It sucks I know but she ll be responsible for carrying the pregnancy while going to school/work like normal.The two of them will have to gather money for the babies supplies, ante natal and what not and her dad and I go just siddon dry look them, I won't help them at all except if of course the mother/child's life is at risk.Nobody go teach am.

    As for who is responsible, Im sick of people not being accountable or responsible for their actions but sadly in this case,it could be one or more of these: the lack of parental affection, zero relationship between the girl and her parents, an inability or lack thereof of a confidante, a stubborn child who just wants to do things her way or plain an oversexualized world/society etc there isn't just one factor on who is responsible.

  8. I'm Prolife all the way and my reasons are:
    - abortion is murder
    - one should take responsibility for their actions. If you decided to have sex, then u should bear the consequences (having a child)
    - who knows who that child could become in future? He could be a President
    - what if that is the only child got has given you?
    - two wrongs don't make a right. Just because you fornicated and aborted doesn't mean you are better or more virtuous than she who got a child out of wedlock
    - the guilt from committing abortion
    - where would you be if your mother had aborted you?
    The way Nigerians talk about abortion scares me. It's like it's a normal thing for unmarried woman who become pregnant to do. If you think you can't take care of the child, give it up for adoption to people who can.
    I was so disappointed when I watched an episode of Gidi-up and Eki, who faced a dilemma about her pregnancy, committed an abortion. I mean both she and her bf are not doing badly but they opted for an abortion because 'they are not ready to be parents". Even at the scene in the hospital while she was waiting, I kept hoping she would change her mind and go home.
    It's just crazy!!!

    I'm sorry for this long epistle but the issue of abortion always gets to me.

  9. U will keep that baby & I, ur mother will come for omugwo.
    But My Child, U will also work to feed U & ur Baby or tell ur hubby to handle his responsibility! NO abortion!!!

  10. Every action in life has attendant consequences n one should not partake in actions they are not ready to take on the consequences. The girl was not raped (thank God) n she is adult enough to bear the consequence of having consensual sex. In my house, she will have that baby n they are responsible for its care. I would only chip in financially to make sure her life stays on track to make something of herself n be able to take care of the child properly.

  11. The baby stays... the only fuss is who she's pregnant for, but she knew what exactly she was getting into. I'm sure if she got pregnant for a celebrity or a celebrity's child, her father won't insist on rape but would gladly start announcing that his daughter will be getting married soon.

    It's the shame of 'the gateman' that's affecting the parents. There's this Yoruba saying that if you want to eat a frog, you should eat a fat one. I hope I'm correct.


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