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Blog Reader Asks... (On Lovers & Friends).





Thelma I have a colleague who I'm very close to. She's in a relationship but I'm single right now. I'm very close to this colleague of mine, we're so close that we talk about everything, we play, we gist, we have pet names for each other, we tease each other and can even be rude without anyone taking offense. We've worked together for about one year and in all this time even when things aren't going too good either of us or someone is facing one challenge or the other we've never quarelled or fought. What I want to ask is, why can't relationships be like this?
Why can't they be as effortless and stressfree like normal friendships? My colleague even wonders the same thing too. She said there are things that she can do to me or tell me and we laugh about it but if she tries it with her boyfriend he will take offense and then it turns into a quarel. Why is it that two people of the opposite sex can be friends and be very close and everything goes smoothly and everybody is happy but if they start dating things become completely different? 


........
I would love love love to answer this in detail but im'ma shattap. Please who can demystify this for our dear blog reader?

Comments

  1. If you're not in a relationship with a friend, you're NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. Stay blessed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. simply put Memphis. Different dynamics. j

      Delete
    2. I think it is deeper than that, many started out well as friends and then go on to the battles and the wars! Somebody is taking more than he/she is putting in and the more the emotional bank account is in red, the vicious the war!

      Probably more of personality and beliefs, because after all is said and done, the way and manner each party processes information determines the conclusion and their reaction.
      Give me a woman with head properly screwed down, one with confidence in herself but with the knowledge that we both need and must respect each other, a woman that knows God and not religious and I can show you how successful and fun relationship can be.

      Friendship, like the example given in Thelma's post, is different when there are no commitments. Knowing you can walk away from the friendship makes you very relaxed and brings out the best in you (no pretense, no game).
      In a relationship, a friend can turn on you when boundaries are crossed and they will be crossed at some point.

      Delete
    3. Nice replies, I will say that most times the moment you put a name to it, put a ring on it etc things become complicated.
      You could have been awesome friends prior but as soon as things get official, shit goes down from there.Im with you on this Wale.
      HSF

      Delete
  2. We naturally do not place much demands on (platonic) friends like we do on our significant others. For the former, the expectations are lower, the sense of entitlement is rather non-existent or very low if it does exist at all.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  3. U no, sometimes I look out for @wale's comment. Dey always make a lot of sense. And yes, am with u on dis one two.
    Ozavize

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yh,I'll go with Wale too. Personalities matter. I have 4 brothers and I'm closest to one (ari). We goof,laugh,argue,I scold (cos I'm older),we advice,help each other financially,but majorly we laugh a lot. To a point when a police man cautioned cos he tot we were dating as we were holding hands (this was 7 yrs ago). My point is, just like I have 4 bro's,none of my other bro and I clicked like ari and I and the same goes for relationships. True friendship is very necessary for r/ships. Ari is not just my bro but my friend and r/ships shld be that way too (more than the r/ship)
    Now shld I add the zodiac angle? I read and hear and notice that people of certain zodiac signs fair better than some...

    ReplyDelete
  5. All ill say is when love dies, friendship may remain! Marry your best friend.

    ReplyDelete
  6. In all I'd still say, marry ur best friend. Coz @ most times whn 5hit is going down, dt's d only thing dt'd keep u guys going like in a platonic relationship like that of the poster's friend. And yeah, 5hit is definitely gonna go down @ some point. So marry ur best fiend! Same reason Y I choose friendship over relationship, coz relationship can always die, but real friendship never dies




    *lips sealed and watching*

    ReplyDelete
  7. For me I guess the scenarios are kinda diffrent ......as my friend...we chat and laff etc...once his position shifts ...there are certain expectations from both parties...its more like a 'Higher calling'...lolzzz...its now up to both parties to preserve the sincerity, love, trust and bond that they have had. Una go quarrell small sha o before everything go settle but its possible...*smiles*....JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
  8. As my bf says there are things he can take from friends but not from me because there are emotions involved

    ReplyDelete

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