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Blog Reader Asks...







Please blog readers i have a question and i'd appreciate your answer. whats your opinion on marrying a guy that is like two years younger than d lady? am 29 and he's 27, we're very much in love with each other. families and friends are aware of the r/ship(met both parties) though no formal engagement yet. we both have very good jobs n talking future, we spend hols n every possible time together. 
    He's asking for time, say 2 more years to get certain things in place though we have been dating for over 3years. What's your honest take on this? Is it okay to wait, not that i have a plan B infact i dont give other men attention. What if something happens along the line n we break up or after 2years he asks for further time cos stories i hear these days scares me before I'd come here and write an epistle of stories that touch.... thank you 

Comments

  1. Hmm...kourtney is older than Scot and if u ask me,I'll say they are made for each other. (the realest in the show). Kate Middleton is older than Prince William,Victoria is older than Beckham,etc.
    Age is nothing as long as its not affecting u two and the respect is mutual.
    Now have u asked him why he wants to wait/delay? Now if u can't wait,take in for him and wwhenever he's ready,he wld come Wife u.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is a different game in the Nigerian society, age does matter especially when arguments come up in the future. Most Nigerian men find the age thing hard to handle when the passion slows down.

      She shouldn't take in so the guy doesn't claim she trapped him with the pregnancy and so she doesn't end up dealing with the pregnancy alone. The guy seem to be running away without having the courage to say it out, he was 24 when the relationship started and probably never thought it would last this long.

      She should sit down with the guy and talk it out, a 3 year relationship is no joke and they should have gotten to a point where they can be brutally honest with each other. They both need to discuss what the 2 years will do for both of them, this is the beginning of the planning for the future, if they are both going to have one together.

      Anything beyond 9 months wait time is not good, she may have to consider leaving the guy ASAP.

      Delete
    2. I was jes feeling u until u said take in 4 him. Does popping a baby 4 him guarantees dt he's gonna marry her whn he's ready? Bet u'd wanna scratch that...

      Delete
    3. Na,kids are a gift from God. What's wrong in taking in for someone u love if u guys aren't celibate in the relationship? From what she said,she's financially comfortable.

      Delete
    4. Lemme get this straight,so it's ok for a man to flush his sperm in a CD down the toilet or kill it with postinor 2? From the other post,everyone said a child is a gift(whether in or outside marriage) yet Wale and Easea are now against this same gift? Hmm...

      Delete
    5. Sasha I don't think they r against it but they've saying it's not advisable when the guy isn't ready to commit. I think it's a terrible idea to get pregnant for him now.


      Wale ur comments are always indepth and enlightening. I always look forward to them.

      Delete
    6. Has it occurred to us that some women might want a child not solely for marriage but to have another entity to love if a husband isn't forth coming?

      Delete
    7. @Sasha u kno u are jes playing devil's advocate right?


      *smiles*

      Delete
    8. There are cats and dogs for the purpose of having another entity to love, children are different and IMO should not be used for such.

      Delete
  2. The age difference isn't bad at all. Your main worry should be wasting your time. Please sit him down and let him know that you cannot afford to waste two years of your life for no reason. I think maybe you guys should do an engagement or something, just a form of guarantee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. U said u both ve good jobs and r very much in love, please what does he need the 2 yrs for?? Poster the decision is yours but if it wr me, i wont give him another 2 years cos in 2yrs time u ll be in ur 30s n he ll still be in his 20s and a lot can happen in 2 years.

    ReplyDelete
  4. yaaaayyy i type epistle and e vanish kai i don faint

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stay put if you love him, Guys please what is your take on on and off relationships, im literary going mad, My bf switches on and off like a bulb, theres no doubt that we love each other but once hes got issues he just wants space, breaks up and then comes back begging. Today i just told him i have had enough. Sighs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The guy is headed for yaba left and wants to take you along, you have to decide if you want to go with him and whether as his gf or just his friend.
      Please stick to your guns and let him go sort himself out, there are too many people going about but should not be in relationship for any reason.

      Delete
    2. @4:53 "once u guys have issues, he breaks up and comes back"
      Is that ur definition of love? If that is ur definition of love, I think u shld ask T 2 give u a lecture on what love is!

      Too many qualified yaba left candidates in relationships these days mehn...

      Delete
    3. Ah wale, you cracked me up with the yaba left part

      Delete
  6. I dated my ex for a year before he came clean that he was a year younger than I was. That changed our relationship immidiately because I started seeing him like my younger brother then anytime he has a fit I look at it as tantrums. Anyway I had to break it off because I realised I could not deal .

    ReplyDelete
  7. I didn't want to comment, but on a 2nd thought, Babe, U need to bounce! As in fly away like a launched satellite. Why?

    U both have good jobs. U have dated for 3yrs so nothing pending again. He knows u are 29 & ur folks will be pressuring u for marriage esp ur biological clock & he's not asking for 6months but freaking 2 years? As in 365days times 2?
    He simply wants to delay u until u are frustrated enough to leave!
    Beat him to his game Hon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Am currently in the same boat,i have this dude on my case and he is three years younger than me(I am 31 and he is 28),I like him alot but I keep thinking of the age difference and its driving me nuts,he checks almost all my boxes,what do you guys suggest?

    ReplyDelete
  9. this is nigeria and age will always be an issue, that said exceptions can always exist but with regards to the 2yr-wait ..... (try this) tell him u guys wil hv to abstain frm sexual activities of any sort till then, relax and observe him and guage subsequent reactions for some
    weeks nd knw how true the acclaimed love is

    merçi

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tnx guyz, am d blogvisitor n wld ans your questions so far. as per d get pregnant advice. early dis yr I got pregnant, it wasnt intentional nor to trap him. He said he wld take responsibility n ownership but not marraige yet. That it was too early n wants us to marry d right way. Somehow I lost d pregnancy, not abortion for clarity purpose n he was with me all through as in tru all d emotional n physical pain. He wants the 2years to do his msc abroad n doesnt want family to slow him down. Did i say he has professional certificates hes intelligent like that. Hes the kindest of all the guys have ever met n theres nothing he wouldnt do for me. Though have never had big request bt its liltle things that count. With him i feel complete. Its just this marraige I cant wrap my fingers around sometimes I wonder if its bacause of his age or that he has 2 older ones that are yet to marry hes 3rd in his family. We understand each other so well our arguements are quickly reconciled. He is some1 I wont have issues settling down and growing old with. we r both selfless wen it comes to both parties. I dont know how id survive a break up. 6months into d r/ship we attempted a break up cos of age diff. But it dint last a week. Wt we share is uncommon its like its made in heaven

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As per d pregnancy I was a bit glad it happened cos a larger part of me didnt want a child out of wedlock. Am open to harsh critics n please tell me how to hurt n heal if you are an advocate of breakup. #Bleeding heart

      Delete
    2. Wait for the dude and if u can,retake in for him but let him know ur intent isn't to trap him or speed up any marriage plans. For those who wanna eat me raw over my opinion,enjoy the meal...

      Delete
    3. Ok now i understand, get married but no babies yet, this is wat my friend n her hubby did cos they didnt want to loose each other. At least this way, your relationship ll be secure n thr wont be family slowing him down.

      Delete
  11. To me the age difference doesn't matter. My mom was 2 years older than my dad and I didn't know till I turned 21. It depends on the maturity of both parties especially you. If you can just get it out of your head.
    As for the 2years wait, that's a bit complicated for me. He is a guy, having a family doesn't stop him from achieving all he wants academically. It won't even slow him down one bit. My dad was an OND holder when he married my mom and with 5kids he got his BSc, MSc and various other certifications. At a point we all go to the library to read together. So that isn't an excuse for slowing the wedding plans.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @ poster forget whn they say dz is Nigeria and age matters. This same Nigeria, we have lots of couples dt dr wives are older (my uncle and his wife inclusive) and are happily married. Yours is even better, that the age gap is jes 2 years. In reality, AGE IS JES A NUMBER. But b4 going in2 dt union, u need 2 sit urself down and ask urself these questions:
    1.Can u respect him (this is where the problem mostly comes 4rm in dz typa relationship. Becoz he is younger, he might start reading meanings in2 little things and be thinking, it's bcoz u are older, that's Y u are doing dz and dt)
    2. is he some1 dt can lead while u follow?
    3. Is he mature (obviously with d description u've given about him, he seems like a very mature guy)
    4.Is his love strong enuff 2 stand d test of time? This question is bcoz as u can see pple are saying dz is Naija, the truth of the matter is that most Nigerians have been conditioned in certain ways by our upbringing, environment and culture. Generally, women marry men older than them. When a different situation presents itself, it is normally fraught with it's own peculiar challenges. So his love therefore should be strong enuff 2 handle these challenges and with d best manners in which they can be handled bcoz they'd always come (like every other marriages)

    The real problem here 2 me shldnt even be abt age, but the 2 years wait. U guys really need 2 talk that out. He's gotta reassure u, and also show u dt he means his word every inch of d way, if u are ever gonna consider it.

    The ball is in ur court

    *good luck*

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am 14 months older than my husband. Age is a number, we both give each other respect. So long as the man can lead the house, the marriage will be fine. You guys can get married in the registry and delay the ceremony for later if he wants to further his education.s you can also wait to have kids, nothing worse than having kids when u arent ready for them.

    Sit ur partner down and explain to him. If he cant find middle ground then he is running from the relationship.

    ReplyDelete

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