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Checking Off All The Boxes (a Him&Her Situation).





On Sunday I accompanied my friend to House on The Rock and it turned out to be pretty amazing. I haven't been to HOTR since I left Enugu. Service was fantastic and while I maintain my Catholicism I really enjoyed the sermon. 
     Today I woke up and knew without a doubt that I would go for midweek service at HOTR in the evening, the Pastor was going to conclude his Sunday message and I'm not one to miss a sermon on Vision and Dimensions. I went alone and this time around I chose to sit downstairs with the rest of the congregation and not isolate myself on the terrace as my friend does at Sunday services (and I was therefore forced to do on Sunday). I mean, if you go and sit alone in one corner, how are you going to meet people? You could be passing up on so many opportunities, great people and potential relationships (professional, financial, emotional and otherwise) without even knowing it! So I decided to sit downstairs right in the thick of things and I'm sure glad I did. 
     Right beside me was the most gorgeous mixed race lady I've ever met and she was a delight to sit with and just as we were really beginning to hit it off, this young man comes and sits at my other side. His heady Tom Ford cologne filled my nostrils and I instantly fell in want. Service was awesome, it was interactive and exciting and with all the high-fiving and 'turn to your neighbour and say...' going on I wasn't surprised when Mr Tom Ford said in a whisper; "Is it ok if we get to talk after service?". 
      Of course it was; you're not only (seemingly) in the spirit, you also know your cologne, your footwear, your wristwatch, your diction and you also know how not to scream like a frightened horse when the pastor says "Make a loud noise for Jesus", so that wins you about 5 minutes of my time. 

Service ended and he walked me to my car, we chatted for a bit and exchanged numbers. I left and headed for The Place to get some dinner, it was past 9pm and I just wanted to get something light. 

My new friend calls and asks what I'm up to. Getting dinner, says I. "You went to buy food? Why? Can't you cook?", I tried to explain that it was too late to cook and I'd had a long day. He empathized with me and said he understood, then his voice suddenly took a very serious tone; "But Nwando can you cook? Seriously?". Immediately I remembered an article I read on men and how they meet someone they might like and begin to see if she checks off all or most of their boxes, I could hear the eagerness in my new friend's voice as he waited impatiently to check that box. I toyed with a few ideas; 
*tell him NO and see his reaction, 
*lie; raise your selling points and say "Oh yes, cooking is second nature to me, I've been cooking from the womb, in fact maggi just made me an ambassador as a result of my great culinary skills", 
*eventually I settled for the truth "of course I cook. I don't have a problem with cooking, it's no great hobby of mine but I must eat so I must cook". 

I could hear him struggle to figure out if he should check that box or leave it empty, I think I heard him check the box; her response could have been better but it was good enough, I heard him think. 

Before the call ended I was already getting pissed off. Who does he think he is, and why is he asking if I can cook? What is wrong with men? Next thing I know he'll be asking me to cook for him. He better not try it. Nansense

But then after I'd calmed down I realized that I'd been checking off my own boxes too from the moment he asked if we could talk afterwards. I'd checked the cologne box, the good hygiene/personal grooming box, the good vocabulary/diction box, (and then after we got talking) the job/career box, the good sense of humour box and even boxes I didn't know I was checking. So hey, who was I to get upset?


So guys, what happens next when someone checks off most of your boxes? 
What happens when someone checks off all or most of your boxes and you don't check any of theirs?
Most importantly; HOW MANY of your boxes does your significant other check off, ALL, MOST, FEW, NONE?


Have a good night beautiful people! 

Comments

  1. Well, I was talking to this guy, he's cute, older, educated, nice job but he's short! I'm 5ft5 and he's 5ft7 😔. After he told me how tall he was I just lost interest. There's only space for one short person and I've take that space lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you for real? You gonna let a good guy go because he is 5 inches short of being a 6 footer? Try it and see how God blesses you with extra 5 years before meeting another "short" guy!

      Delete
    2. Lol so much this morning, una no go keee me o, Wale i dey feel you jare...anon please get to know him and see if he checks most of your boxes and if you check his too, but then again it's your choice..
      L.

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    3. Anon I'm with Wale on this one. Please if the guy checks most of your boxes and is a decent guy who you know would be good to and for you, don't disregard him because of his height. I know how most of us ladies think the idle man should be tall, towering over us and all, but besides the physical, there's not much difference between a short and a tall guy. It's not like tall men have some special abilities that short men don't. I'm "pleading" for this guy because he is even taller than you, so you see it's not so bad.

      Delete
    4. Lemme get dz straight, I am 5'7 as well, so dt makes me short abi? So u can't date pple like me bcoz of our height abi? Story!

      Last time I checked 5'7 isn't tall but far from short and definatelly taller than 80% of Naija babes. BTW no woman has ever seen me as "short" b4, and even if she is thinking that in her mind, the story changes once we meet coz I gv them d benefit of the doubt. It's not always abt height. Stop sleeping on third mainland bridge!!






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    5. Sleeping in 3rd mainland bridge. Lolsss

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    6. Lol, what I find most interesting here is the fact that he had to tell you how tall he was for you to realise that he's short, meanwhile, it turns out he's just 2 inches taller than you, yet u never noticed he was short. Lol, babe, u sure say na height be the problem?

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    7. heyyy people oo..its 10am here and you all are just too much ! I like tall guys..its my choice.. just the way some guy wont date a fat girl, skinny girl, a girl that's too tall and other 'excuses" na my preference oo..people chill abeg. and miss N, my cousin is trying to hook me up. so he searched me up on linkedin, then we took it to whatsapp / voice call.. I've seen his pictures but wasn't sure how tall oga was...
      I'm 23 currently in grad school so I'm not looking to marry the next minute or "heavy" relationship (or is that my excuse now :/).. we are still in the get to know each other phase so who knows..maybe I don't check off all his boxes .. and babes..once I put on my heels..Il have to look downwards o lol.. y'all have a nice day.

      Delete
    8. Of course you're 23. I knew you would be that's why I did not bother to reply you. There are things nobody can teach us, only time and experience.

      Delete
    9. Oh okay. Was wondering.

      Delete
  2. Yeeee,finally I got my airtime.Thks to T n wale.God bless u both LOADS

    ReplyDelete
  3. I once had a very short relationship with a guy I felt checked some major boxes of mine from my first meeting with him. After a yes I will go out with you it turns out his up to no good but just speaks i wanna gonna etc. After him I met someone in church whom I felt shouldnt have walked up to me because he didnt check my boxes in the first place! i felt is there no other guy in this Church? Others no see me? But eventually when I gave him some attenmtion he turned out to check all MY BOXES! He is a great man and we are engaged now...dats my story. .....#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joy was "I gonna wanna" one of the boxes with the first guy? LMAO. You people won't kill somebody on this blog. Haha

      Delete
    2. My sistaaaaa! hmmm...I think say becos he sabi speak englih well and e b like say he go school say na reasonable person. As I dey here any guy wey wan come wit I wanna gonna....na gona! Kukuma God don replace am wit an ABLE person....HA-LLE-LU-YAH!!.....lolzzzz......#JoyDaNuGirl

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. Hahahaa! Wale u dey vex O! Buh babe 5.7 aint short jhooor! #udonfkup

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hmmm. Not many boxes to check. He should just be dark,cos fair guys turn me off. @ least 5'6 cos I'm just 5'2 and he shouldn't be more than 6ft. That's too tall. I don't need anyone looking down on me.lol# he must be good looking, posses good spoken and written english skills, good dress sense, neat/organized cos I'm one hell of a disorganized person, and he should be financially stable. Days of e go better are over biko. While @ it he should remember not to be stingy else il leave his presence like Usain Bolt. I'm not stingy so I can't stand a stingy man. And he shouldn't be a possessive man/ wife beater o. Btw iv changed my blog crush from Memphis to Wale... toothy grin# Wale wee u be my fwend? I stay in calabar and that is far.. #tears#. Have a blessed day TTRs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam I hope you know that Wale is married oh.

      Delete
    2. Yes oh and I command troops too! But no worries la effizy, we are friends already and we know where the line is.

      Delete
    3. @ La effizy, abeg take your friends to go and patronize us at k's pizza place, 33a Nsefik Eyo layout. Thanks a million in advance

      Delete
    4. la effizy i know i'm not Wale but i'm in Calabar o, #shines teeth
      Steele are you in Calabar too or you're advertizing?
      L.

      Delete
    5. Anon 9.49am, I also crush on Idris Elba, Sam Dede and M.I, they r also married #ntorr# Wale thanks jare, I still have my toothy grin on. Steele I will o, will I have discounts? Should I go in and ask after Steele? L drop your email and il reach you after my examinations...

      Delete
    6. Pls include me am in calabar too :D, ukejechioma@yahoo.com

      Delete
  7. Lol@ i gonna wanna...some men though
    @ruthylicious, can you leave the villa already

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lol, every time I meet or get talking with a guy, I'm checking and unchecking the boxes in my head. If he checks all my physical attributes it might land him a date, sadly that may just be it, cos after the date i'll find out that I can't check the more important boxes like values, character, principles etc. I'll just make sure we have a lovely date, and move on of cos. Much more important than all this physical attributes are the intrinsic values. And yes, u can have them both.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Is it just me, or is the fact that as you get older you feel pressured to loosen up on the check list true?? Vee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. That's where you begin to totter on the edge of "settling". It may not actually be settling but when you realize that life isn't a fairy tale and things rarely go as we'd planned and family and society begin to pressure you, you find yourself loosening up on the check list.

      Delete
    2. It is actually called maturity, when you put more value on some and less on others, when you separate needs from wants. We usually don't do this on our own until nature forces it down our throats.

      It is for the same reason many elderly people don't care about so many things in the twilight of their years.

      Delete
  10. In as much as it's great for a new crush to check all the boxes, sometimes it pays big to think 'outside the box'
    One of my boxes used to be 'guy has to be tall'. Met this amazing guy n we hit it off. Checked almost all the boxes right off bt cos of where we were, I cld'nt tell how tall he was. Turned out he was just my height (5.5") n I loved wearing heels (he loved it too). Decided to 'bone' the box n soldier on with him; Best Decision Ever! He was a great boo n even after we broke up n he's married now, we are still great friends n I got a gorgeous goddaughter from them!
    These days I say check boxes, bt always leave room outside especially on physical n superficial traits. Dat way u don't miss out on something potentially great cos of exterior "packaging".

    ReplyDelete
  11. First of all, no human can check all our boxes so it pays to be realistic. If you base too much on physical appearance then if by any mistake those looks diminish you'll fall out of love as far as you fell in. I've come to learn that the happiest people in relationships are people who went for substance and character instead of beauty. The ones that went for looks are almost dying of paranoia.
    I got older but I never refused to settle because I always knew one thing, if there are 10 boxes to check and I meet someone that checks 5 of the most important, I'll work with them to check at least 3 more. 8 out of 10 is enough to live out the rest of our lives together. Same way I expect the person to work on me and help me improve in areas that need improvement. There's no full-option when it comes to humans.

    ReplyDelete
  12. lol @thelma maggi ambassador.dnt rily av much on my list o,ryt 4rm tym.just a good diction,educated,financially stable,nice,christain nd no aka gum.I dnt rily put much on size,my feelns towards u picks dat out.females just need to be careful b4 u check ur future hubby out of ur life 4 good

    ReplyDelete
  13. @blink where av u been biko,ur pings are nt goin o

    ReplyDelete
  14. Interestingly how some checklists will be shorted becasue of age.. but trust me we should all be checking for personal hygiene. That is my major; especially mouth odour, tartars...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "but trust me we should all be checking for personal hygiene. That is my major; especially mouth odour, tartars..." lols. TTB comments wont crack my soft ribs abegi!

      Delete
    2. Mouth odour especially. Can't deal.

      Delete
  15. My husband didnt check any of my physical trait boxes. He is high yellow - mixed race and shortish at 5ft 9. He checked the one box i was unwilling to settle on - accountability. He is accountable, highly responsible and so i knew being his wife i would sleep well at night knowing my husband would do the right things to the best of his ability. This one trait had me by week 3 of dating.
    After that i was hooked. And i started seeing his handsomeness despite his red beard and freckled skin.

    ReplyDelete
  16. seriously 5 ft 9' shortish, Issokay

    ReplyDelete
  17. Most of u girls have boyfriends nd still u r having checking attributes ....when it's not as if u want to drop him

    ReplyDelete

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