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Dear Thelma... (Should I Say Yes, Should I Say No?)

Thelma my best friend has a crush on a guy that works close to her office, they don't really talk, just hello and hi. This is not an ordinary crush, it has lasted for more than a year and she is convinced that he is her husband even though they don't talk yet. Some weeks ago her car developed some problems so since we both work in the same area i went to pick her up from work. When I was waiting for her to come out I went to buy credit opposite her office, a guy came to talk to me and he seemed nice so I gave him my phone number. To cut the story short when my friend came out she was almost hyperventilating, that I should see the man she's going to marry. He is the same guy I just gave my number to but I didn't tell her because I didn't know he will call.
The problem is he called and we talk everyday now, I'm single myself and he's single too. He wants us to go on a date and has started asking me out and I want to say yes Thelma, I really like this guy. Please how can I explain it to my friend? She still talks about it and everytime she sees him and they say hello she pings me to tell me she just saw her husband. Before I used to tell her ways to make him notice her but now I always change the topic. I know it sounds funny but my friend is in love with him. Am I doing something wrong? Should I just stop answering his calls , or I should just come clean and pray she understands? Please I really like this guy and I know he likes me too. 


  1. my dear do what makes u happy...he has noticed u n wants u and on the other hand your dearest friend is living in her own should understand or rather would dear its your happiness that what makes u happy ok

  2. awwwww i know how this feels...been in your shoes before..I eventually told my friend and it caused a big gap between us but I was happy while it lasted,she came around at the end of the day and we laughed about it and we still laugh about it.. my dear do what your heart tells u as long as the guy in question and ur friend haven't had anything yet u free to go ahead...

  3. Telemundo
    I think after ur first date,u shld tell her whatsupp. It'll hurt her but she need to hear it from u and not an outsider.
    Goodluck girl...

  4. I'm tempted to say do what makes you happy but, on the other hand it would be wise u tell her that her fantasy hubby is on your case and you like him too. Better for her to know now than later

  5. I don't know but you really aren't her friend, why? Bcos you had all the time to tell her you it was the same guy you gave your number to but no you had to be entertaining his calls knowing it would lead to a date. Now you are here acting like you don't know what you did. You wanna know what I'd advice? Tell her he asked for your number and also tell him your friend has an insane crush on him. I will not tel you to do what makes you happy because I know you will not be happy if the same was your case. Whatever though, I know I would tell you there and then, "oh that's the same guy that asked for my number". Yes he has never spoken to her but it would have gone a long way to uncomplicate this not so complicated situation. So don't act like you care how she feels bcos you have made up your mind to go for him.
    Once I was in a situation like that, guess what? I left him for her because I didn't think a guy should come between my friend and I and I would do it over again.
    Ppl run around using the friend word loosely yet not being a friend to their so called friend.

    1. 1000 likes for ur comment @ujubeibe. That's exactly what I would ve done from the onset if I were the poster. It's not that hard na. Now it would seem to ur friend that u are the one who even went after the guy and not the other way round.goodluck

    2. My dear u are on point,tru talk, y did she tell her friend @ dt spot dt d guy in question just gave her his number. Sm pple can pretend as if dey care mtchew

    3. U took words from my heart. Saw the post earlier, but no strength to type.
      But @this point poster, I suggest you tell her about the guy. Personally I would hook them both up.

    4. Spoke my thoughts! A zillion likes.

    5. luvvvvvvv u ujubeibe best comment so far! dear poster, I would advise u tell her straight up, its bad enough u left it till now.

  6. Please if she is really ur friend speak to her it's not worth loosing ur friend over a relationship that might not last. Tell her u didnt know before u gave him ur number, he obviously doesn't fancy her Cus he has had all the chances in the world to speak to her. With her permission I think tell him why u can't date him. If he is for u he will find a way back to u. But as always the ball is in your court.

  7. Sweetie.... while I agree U should have told her from the word go, I certainly don't think not telling her makes U less of a friend. You've done nothing wrong Abeg. Crushing over a guy a whole year long and expecting a miracle to make him ur "husband" is just plain pathetic to me!.
    Biko do the needful and tell her, whatever the outcome, don't go hard on urself. She definitely needs d reality check! Yes... d relationship may not last, yet it just might lead to something beautiful
    Some girls can just create bubbles around themselves and expect their friends to superhumanly help them maintain it.

  8. There is something called NOT MY TYPE....definitely your friend is not his type because they say hello to each other and he has never for once ask for her dear tell her about it and you guys should move on....if she takes it bitter,don't worry..she might or might not come around.......tanks again to everyone who wished me a happy birthday...and to rock gurl......that naughty house wife

    1. Exactly. If the crush feeling isn't mutual,give someone else a chance. (And be happy for her so that cupid wld smile on u too)

    2. I honestly think it would be insane for the friend with the crush to refuse her friend from having anything with the guy simply bcos she has a crush on someone who hasn't noticed us but at the same time I have a problem with her friend not telling her outrightly that her crush asked for her number. I just think it is not fair that you will entertain your friend fantasizing over a certain dude you are dating. I think if she told her then, she probably would have come to terms with what the reality is and probably be happy for her friend.

    3. Gbam for u sasha....uju if I were in her shoes...It would take time for me to tell her...maybe the mind...that naughty house wife

  9. If i were you i would have opened up to her in the first place that day. That is if truly this lady is your friend o cos these days ladies fake all manner of things in the name of friendship. My advice to you is that you tell your friend everything and at the same time you tell the guy. The bulk of the talk/ decision is in your hand sha. Best of Luck

  10. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com2:47 pm, September 11, 2014

    I would have told her right there and then too, but well you didn't. Tell her now and be prepared to loose one of them. Good luck to u dear poster.

  11. Not sure she is your friend cos if she were, you would have told her on the spot. Am thinking you knew the guy before then and you were just happy he noticed you first before ur gurlfrnd. We ladies Though!

  12. been der done dat,know ow hard it is dear,bt stl tel her now nd explain ow u lyk him too,afterall he saw u nd lykd u as his type,if u guys are close enuf ur frndship wud survive it,if not...just do u nd wt makes u happy.its sounds selfish bt u cant force d guy to lyk her now after he has seen her 4 a yr nd wasnt.long epistle cut short,tell her now nd be happy

  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  14. D situation wouldn't av bin complicated if u hd told her wat hapund from d onset. But its still nt too late, I think u shuld let her knw wats goin on n also ao u feel abt d guy, she might undastnd n be cool with it n if nt she will definitely still come around later. Wen she thinks abt it well, she will realise d guy doesn't like her as much as she thinks dts y e hsnt approached her all this while....a year is too much 4 him 2 still b building up d courage to come n ask her out n he ws able to talk wid u n even ask 4 ur number all within a day.

  15. Just come out clean n tell ur friend exactly how it all'll cause a rift between you two..but at d end u've cleared ur conscience.

  16. My take, you'd have told her immediately she came out of the office, that should have cleared you and your friend stance. Yeah, you are single and need the happiness you deserve but you still should have let in your friend on it just so to clear the air. Now there might be a friction between you two but all same, still let it out before emotions runs high.


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