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Doing The Wrong Thing For The Right Reason

Hey guys, let me start by apologizing for my absence all day. I had things I needed to do for my family and I'm presently at the airport awaiting an arrival. Seeing as I might be here for an hour or so I thought to check in, and I was alarmed by the comments on Last Man Standing, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to monitor and delete comments but I hope you had fun. 

Also pleeeeeeeeeeeeease I will get to my mails soon... Lord! I'm so scattered at the moment, forgive me. 

Following a comment someone made here earlier in the week I remembered something that happened a while back which everyone seemed to have opposing views on. 

Imagine you're not from a well to do home, things are very difficult at the moment, you and your immediate elder sibling are unemployed and your younger ones are still in school. Your parents are both retired and have little or no benefits. Then you family faces being evicted and your older sibling fearing for the outcome goes to a former colleague and begs for a loan. The colleague lends your sibling the sum on the condition that he can guarantee that he will pay on a specific date. Your brother agrees because he actually thinks he can; he is expecting a small contract and some money before the appointed time. Unfortunately time passes and the contract is yet to come, business is yet to bloom, in fact things continue to go from bad to worse. Time for payment reaches and after a couple of weeks the lender asks for his money. Your brother begs for a little more time. In the weeks that follow the lender has asked again, begged for his money, threatened and has just finally got the police involved. The lender has even employed the use of a lawyer who calls your brother to inform him that if that money isn't paid in the next 72 hours, the police will pay him a visit and he would be locked up. 

In all this time your family has been looking for ways to pay this lender, even neglecting to pay the fees of your three youngers ones, who face the possibility of being thrown out of school. You know someone who can help, he is very well off and would not feel a pinch if he gives you this money. He has promised to give you the entire sum your brother owes, however you must first have sex with him. 

This goes against your moral values but it's the only option you have to keep your brother out of the cell and to save your family from the embarrassment. What will you do?

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you had to do the wrong thing for the right reason?


  1. I would comment anonymously,T,I would do it if I have rallied round and no ONE seems to help.I know someone will say where is my faith,I have faith but Faith without works is dead like the bible says,am an usher,prayer warrior and theology student in my church but I would do it like I said in a comment I once posted when u talked about grudge,I had to sleep with my aunt's hussy to save my mum from embarrassment and death. Mum was on sick bed n she had people she waa owing,those people didn't even look at her situation,they kept on threatening to lock me up if mum didn't pay,step dad was jobless,three siblings for me to take care of,no one was ready to help,at a tender age I was already looking old and haggard. T I PAINFULLY slept with my aunt's husband for a sum of 500,000.I can never forget this. Frustration can push people to do unthinkable things. I choose my aunt's husband option over stealing or prostituting,as the devil bad reach,during those times someone brought a cocaine carrying deal to me,I almost accepted but thank God I didn't. I bless God am better off now n a different being.

    1. I hope ur aunt finds a way of forgiving u. She may have, but of course, it won't be a good idea for u to be in her home since she's still wt dat wicked(in my opinion) man. How come ur aunt couldn't help u then sef? Too many questions, Bt please don't do it again, very painful to learn ones husband slept with anyone else, talk less her own relative.

    2. Oh well, people have slept with the wrong person(s) for much less so don't beat yourself up too much. Just try to get your aunty to forgive you, you might need to get someone involved to act as a go-between. Sometimes when someone is hurting the last person they want to see or hear from is the person who put them in that position.
      I hope you've forgiven yourself too.

  2. See my LIFE,chai I wanted to comment anonymously,but Nothing spoil. Am a good gal ohhh people.winks

    1. It doesn't matter love.
      Most people would do worse.

    2. It's okay dearie. None of us is a saint.

    3. It's okay dearie. None of us is a saint.

    4. Lol. It's well, dear. I had to laugh, biko. Remember your neighbour story too. This anonymous thing just no favour you. Back to the issue, let him who hath no sin in him cast the first stone. I hope you've forgiven yourself and move on. *hugs*

  3. T,I would gladly do's why; if I have a bf and have sex with him (without benefits),why can't I have sex with the man for benefits? I'd rather date a man who can cater for me considering how things are in the family than date one who all he's got to offer is his undying love..which love please?? heck! I wouldn't even date anyone who I can't benefit from considering how things are with my(the poster's) parents till God decides to smile on me and my honest and sincere opinion

  4. God bless you anon,I LOVE your sincerity

  5. Been there done that. I have no regrets.

  6. Why can't men (esp Christian men) help without asking for sex in return?

    1. One of life's greatest mysteries. Dunno about Christian men but men in general, some of them.

    2. Not a valid question in the world we live in. It's a shark tank, build yourself an armor!

      God forbid that I seek to benefit from the misery of others.

    3. And what "amor" might that be judging from the post and my Q?

    4. The armor in the second part of my comment is a follow up from the first that answered your question. What should a "would be" victim do since some men wont help without asking for sex?
      There are many possibilities to solving the seemingly hopeless situations we face but I wouldn't want to go into some sermon on this at this point.

  7. I need one right now sef..

  8. I can't really give an answer since I have not been in that situation before. God forgive as all.

  9. I'll do it man, God forgive me but in that situation men hmm

  10. T, I asked my hubby a similar question, that if he was dying and we had no cash to save him except a big man that wants me to hv sex for money. He told me I shldnt hv sex with anyone to save his life. And he really meant it. He gave his reasons and made it clear.

    When we are faced with life's challenges, it takes more than faith to do the right thing.

    May God just take away any burden that's to biig for us. I don't want to be faced with such temptations o.

    My dear sister. You must forgive urself and hope that one day ur aunt will forgive u. CEO

  11. Thks for the advice T,I have done all I can but she remains adamant,so I av forgiven myself and moved AHEAD. I and her husband still maintain dis rapo but she doesn't like it n d man cares less. Lest I forget,I asked her for the money first before going to hussy but she claimed being broke which we all knew she wasn't,she has always been the stingy one n hussy offered without thinking twice. Hussy still offers help to d family but dis time around without benefits though.

    1. It sounds like u r justifying ur action.... Forgive urself and try as much as u can to seek peace with her but she has every right to hurt to. She was disgraced and embarrassed and cheated on with a family member! It's not easy o. I hope she opens her heart up again to u one day x

  12. A Yoruba proverb says: it is him who has not been faced with a battle that brags he is a man. I can't claim saint. I can only pray not to be faced with a situation that would make me hug the devil's option. There is a limit to human endurance/perseverance.


    1. Eni ti ijamba o kolu lo n pe ara e ni okunrin meta atabo! Lmaooo! I heard the Yoruba version from my aunt today! Hehehehhehehehee!

  13. A few months ago I was going to lose my job none of my siblings were employed, and my parents are retired, some managers where I worked offered to help me secure my job only if I had sex with them I refused. I said to myself if I get fired I'll go home and practice farming, I did get fired and I stayed at home for a whole month wondering how I would pay the bills, then one evening I got a call from one manager who had always loved how I was committed to my job plus my diligence and hard work, he was shocked that I had been sacked. This man without asking for anything in return offered me a a job in his department, a one year contract at that moment I was thankful. When I resumed work all those sleazy men who had asked me for sex were shocked they couldn't believe their eyes. We should not always take the easy way out, be patient and open your mind to other possibilities.

  14. Thelma, you made it sound like there is really no other option when a woman is confronted with such a situation than to give in to sleeping with a man. So she should use sex to keep her brother out of jail? Ha!

    We must tread carefully with issues such as these, otherwise we will end up justifying these behaviors with all sorts of reasons.

    1. Brov peeps now see dz things as d norm coz it's seems 2 be the easy way out. If they didn't get any 'sex 4 money offer', won't they look 4 another way out. It's jes like a prostitute or runsgirl saying there's no way out, that's Y she is in2 prostitution whn there are other viable options but she chose 2 turn a blind eye 2 them. This same mentality of making it seem like there is no other option, is one of d reasons the why 75% of Nigerian women are now in2 harlotery, runs and other public sex related professions.

      *lips sealed and watching*

    2. Wale I'm not telling a random story, this happened to someone and she felt that was the only option available to her at the time. So I'm not supporting or condemning anything in this post.

  15. We all come from different background,environment and all that,but I judge no one like you guys are doing,it's easier said than done. You guys thought I was happy doing dat?or u think I am bold to say it out?I pray none of you faced what I did,then if u put your self in my shoes you would understand,it took me weeks to think and accept my uncle's offer,my siblings practically were dying. I forgot to also add that I lost one of my sibling during this time@eesah I never prostituted n never used that as an excuse@Mr wale no one is justifying my action or saying what I did was right. My prayer is none of us will be faced with life challenges that would warrant you doing such

    1. Hon I jes had 2 cut in that way coz as u can see, most of d comments on dz post and even the post itself is sounding like it's no biggie, and dt's how d mindset of d general populace out there is. What is good is good, and what is bad is bad. No one is judging u coz we've all sinned one way or the other but the bitter truth needs 2 be told in such situation without trying 2 polish it with cortex and crayons.

      May the Lord 4gv us our trespasses

      #Bear hugs

    2. Baby girl I feel you, I too slept with a friend's uncle for money when my dad left me for 2months and travelled with no allowance. I know how many jobs I searched for and all they wanted was sex knowing fully well they were not gonna give me the job. So seeing that I was not gonna sleep with anyone for work I probably wouldn't get. I called up my friend's uncle that had Been on my case at that time, I had turned to bonga fish. He is married by the way, so we got talking and he gave me the option of dating him and my financial probe will be over. I was still a semi virgin (as in I had a lousy first time where I just bled without proper penetration). I met up with him thinking it wasn't gonna happen but it did but I had no intrest in dating him, I just wanted the money which took me till my selfish father came back to the country. I did wish I didn't but it solved my immediate problem which was what I needed at the time so no I didn't beat myself up.

      These experiences, only makes me wanna be a better parent than my parents were to me and my siblings. I would be a very wicked mother if I know I have the resources but choose to withhold it from my children. I was 19 at the time and that experience thought me never to depend on anyone not even my own parents. I also say this without hesitation that if I am put in the position of doing what I did that day to save myself, my siblings or my children, I would do it over again and I will never judge anyone who were faced with such decision and had to do it.

  16. @Opara you are a bold person n i envy u for that. Thelma am a visitor here bt we don't know what we are capable of doing until we are faced with difficulties. i slpt with my ex-bf for free n even do stuff for him, clean, cook etc. simply cos i love him at the end the lying cheating bastard hurt me despite my faithfulness n commitment to him(1st guy i ever myself to). no single gift nor ring to sell. brethren, i wld sleep with this man to save my very bad situation bt wld never sleep with him if he isn't my last resort. God forgive me ooo. av never cheated nor slept for money bf bt after this ex sometimes i wonder if it wouldnt av bn better to av had a partner for benefit than one who chop my body, my time, my energy, my lil family support money (i wasn't working n he's a banker ooo) this love sha. it is well.


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