Skip to main content

How Do They Do It? (Random Musings...)

After years of wondering and getting no satisfactory answers, tonight I wonder aloud.

A while back there was this guy on my case who used to drive to my place in the evenings, he'll take me to the gym with him and then we would have drinks afterwards. We never went anywhere else but the day we made plans for dinner was the day I found him out. I decided to go to a different church, it was only my second time there but it was a small 'family' church and that's what I craved then. I was shocked to see that my date also attended that church but even more shocking was the sash across his body, more shocking still was that he's the head usher of the church, much more shocking was the three kids that ran to hug him after mass and the mousy-looking woman who happens to be his wife. Needless to say I never heard from him again. 

I've often wondered how some people can live so carefreely and yet have such a close relationship with God. What I find even more baffling are those ones who are so so wrong yet just don't let that get it the way of their "spirituality". I honestly don't know whether to admire them or douse them with holy water!

Many years ago my friend was dating a married man, not exactly dating per se; occasionally sleeping with (for financial gains). It was baffling to my friend and I how after a night of dirrrty sex, the minute he wakes up in the morning, he would wake her up for morning prayers. Prayers could last anywhere between 30 minutes to 1 hour and this guy would seriously kabash, summon down all the angels and saints and would occasionally speak in tongues... It was the most absurd thing ever. 

I thought he was a one-off, but then I saw something very similar on an episode of An African City so it seems his kind are many... And oh, a former colleague of mine was dating a married guy whose family lived outside town. They used to go for Night Vigils, deliverance services, anointing services and the usual Sunday services together. Just WHY?

Its always baffled me; I mean I just think about sex and it becomes almost impossible for me to pray or even look up at the sky, nay, ceiling, for the fear that I would see nostrils flaring, eyes emitting fire and God's hand threatening to slap me, yet someone else engages in it, in the most immoral forms possible, with persons order than his or her spouse and comes with that same person before God. 

How do they do it...?

Since some people like to assume and presume, I always feel the need to clarify; I'm not judging anyone or the choices they make. My major concern right now is how someone is able to have such a strong Christian life regardless of how unholy or sexually immoral they are. I've Personnally asked a few and the answer I often get is "We are all sinners, no one is perfect before God", but...


  1. Its funny how some of ur posts mirror my random thoughts lately.
    Well,maybe if whatever they are doing (or not) isn't having any direct consequence,why stop? In other words,if their immorality is "working for them",why give it up?

  2. According to that COZA pastor, they just maybe "operating" on a higher "level of grace"- #tongueincheek and #smh.

    1. Lmao @ "operating on a higher level of grace'!!! I still can't wrap my head around that one... meanwhile I strongly believe it's a lie from the pit of hell... that gives people a false sense of hope that they can continue to live and dwell in sin because there's a "special" kind of grace that abounds when the bible is so clear in Rom 6 v 1 - 2. It specifically says in verse 2 "God forbid!" "how shall we that are dead to sin, live longer therein'

      It's one thing to admit that you have sinned(and ask for mercy)... it's another one to deceive yourself that you're "operating on a higher level of grace" the latter is even more disastrous!

  3. Mehn. I can't sleep. I honestly don't have an answer to this question.... I only comment based on my experiences or knowledge! This one pass me!
    I'll read other people's comments.

    1. What did he do to you that you can't sleep! It is too early oh..Ruthylicious Ruth!

    2. LOL. Wale biko leave me oh.
      It's not a He. It's other personal stuffs.

  4. Lol e pass me too oh. If I mistakenly see naked pictures of Kim k I begin to fear God and feel very guilty yet a pastor was bold to tell me that we see pastors as saints and not human. Oh get this, this pastor was passing himself off as a very much single guy and would not take anything alcoholic as per holy man yet would want to only go to dark spots to chill so he could get me to make out with him. He even gave me a deadline, threatening to walk if the make out didn't happen unfortunately for him, my sister-in-law ran into him and he was wearing a wedding band and when I asked him, his response was that he only wears it to look responsible when he wants to go for a meeting in government house. That was the last time I heard from our pastor unmarried/married.

  5. It's a scary world out there, to the point where I fear for our children's generation. People have become so complacent that sin is no longer a big deal, it's really really scary.

    1. you fear for OUR children's generation? heck! i fear for MY children, it's not that far off anymore you know.
      Can we continue in sin so that grace may abound? The answer is "God forbid...", I'm really involved in church activities and i see a lot of brethren who are like the examples you mentioned above, it is really a terrible thing when one's conscience is totally dead because by then the Holy Spirit is very far from you, if you like somersault or sing with the tongues of angels, it is empty period.

  6. Hmmmm,Its funny though but like d other commenter said,we all operate n HAVE different level of Grace and various gifts and d way God deals with us is different,I av a neighbour who sleeps with at least not less dan four girls every day but if he tells you he saw anything about you in his dream,JUST take it cos he prays alot,preaches and also sees things(Joseph things). I just leave such pple to God,cos only him knows d mystery behind all these.

    1. Lol... that does not mean anything. Rom 11 v 29: For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.
      So even if he continues in fornication and all what not... the gift would still remain. It has nothing to do with "special" grace. It's a gift that God has given him. He won't take it back.

  7. Chai chai,I forgot to comment anonymously ohhhhh cos I introduced him to TTB already.*HEAD SCRATCHING**

  8. My dear thelma... you know for a long time... I could not understand how "they" do it. I saw that episode of An African city on Eltv when the married man knelt down to pray after adultery... and the girl was like really?! And he was like... yeah(like durh!) don't you pray before you sleep! Lmaoo! I laughed so hard ehn! Lol!

    Yeah... back to the matter at hand. so I used to really get as confused as you. I probably judged/condemned them in my heart at some point. But then... one day as i was meditating(or thinking deeply) lol... I looked inward.. and I was like... i'm a sinner o. that small lie there... that wrong word here, being rude here... refusing to call dad(malice)... and so many other things I do. And yet, i'm an usher in church(like ur example) lol!... I pray to God, after asking for mercy(tho I still continue) and am like... what's the difference between me and them. Sin is sin. Whether big or small. What makes me so comfortable praying to God whilst I continue in my sins... is what also gives them the assurance that it's not so bad. God'll understand and hear our prayers.

    Some have also successfully psyched themselves with some terrible lies... and I begin to wonder... some say:
    "well... God loves me and wants me to be happy... and if cheating on my wife(adultery) or sleeping with my girlfriend(fornication) would make me happy... why not?! the Lord understands!

    "I'm operating on a "higher", "mind-blowing" level of grace that you mere mortals can never comprehend(understand)"

    Well that's what I think. :)

    1. In my own case I don't even judge them, I'm just genuinely baffled. I mean there were times in the past that I wouldn't go to church for a whole year just because I was in a relationship and we were sexually active. Imagine not stepping into church or being able to pray for one year on end just because I fornicated. So those ones who have the 'mind' to pray just after the act (especially) the adulterous ones, they really fascinate me.
      That said while all sin is sin, some are more 'sinful' than others. The Bible lays emphasis on sexual immorality. Corinthians says that all other sins committed by a man are committed outside his body but sexual immorality is against his own body. It further says that the body is the temple of God and the Holy Spirit lives within us. Another part of the Bible says all sins can be forgiven except sins against the Holy Spirit... Go figure! So while I agree that all sin is sin I also think that each degree of sin might have different consequences.
      That's not to say that you're better than the next person because you're only guilty of one or two lies here and there.

    2. It always beats me whn christians say that all sins are sins whn the bible in mathew 23:14 speaks about worst sinners. It says:
      "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you devour widows' houses, and for a pretense you make long prayers; therefore you will receive greater condemnation.

      God was reffering 2 d pharisees and scribes and says greater damnation awaits them 4 being hypocrites and devouring d house of widows, which means sins are of different degrees and have different consequencies in the side of the Lord!

      NB- if yall think sin is sin, would u compare someone dt murdered a soul to some1 dt jes told a lie since both of them are sins? U think they don't have different consequencies in d side of d Lord? Pple think and seek knowledge!!

      *lips sealed and watching*

    3. *side eye* @ people think and seek knowledge.

      Of course some have greater consequences than the others... but it doesn't make the supposed "lesser" sin better(or can I say accepted/normal). it just helps me put things into perspective...

      Meanwhile thelma... I forgot to add conscience. I like to call it the spirit of God in every man. Some are dead to it... so that allows them do some things without thinking about it twice.

  9. We all have the same grace given by God. Only dat some pple have found ways to skew things to their favor. These pple have a false sense of 'higher grace' and they choose to dwell in sin 'cos of this. I often wonder, too, how some pple will swear and curse for africa and open dat same mouth to pray or speak in tounges. E pass me o.

  10. How do they do it?? How about the corrupt people, fake drug importers and sellers, backstabbers/ haters, etc I would say Ignorance, and nothing more.

    If we all knew the consequences, beyond what is preached, we will be truly afraid. I am no better than the next person and would rather focus on fortifying myself. The good thing is that God forgives when we ask, so it end up as a cycle. Sin, beg, then sin again.

    My prayer this morning is that God will continue to strengthen each and everyone of us to withstand the temptations that will come our way.

  11. Thelma that is a part of Christianity i always wonder about, we preach forgiveness and not punishment, so the answer to ur question is simple, no matter what you do, God ll always forgive you. Like the bible quote that says no matter how dirty your sins are..... I dnt like discussing religion sha, its a sensitive issue.

  12. Strong Christian Life? What is our definition of that? That someone attends Church regularly and punctually, is a diligent worker, prompt tithe payer, regular seed-sower, holy-ghost-fire-spitting prayer warrior, sees visions, etc does not make him/her live a 'strong christian life' because the requirements as laid down in the Bible-our standard are deeper than these things. God checks the hearts, humans check the acts.

    Now to our question: how did David do it? How did Solomon do it? Just like Wale said, it is a cycle. The wisdom as most of us would love to take it, is in not dying in our sin. Sin, seek forgiveness and move on. However, this is not a ticket to being sinful forever. We need our conscience to be alive always. The highest form of deceit is not seeking forgiveness and being better than the person we were yesterday thinking there is a level of grace which ignores our sins completely without punishment either here or in the hereafter.


    1. Thanks F, you just put some things in perspective for me.

  13. All I have to say is that God isn't man and only He alone know how to handle each and every of His creature..... On judgement day sha, the Man get plenty matter to judge and If am allowed to say, I suggest He starts as soon as a person dies cause if He waits to gather us together, no be small thing oh!

  14. @kimora I totally disagree with you,we do not have same grace as u put. U might do some things and get away with it but IF I try it my life might just end my LIFE.The bible described it that our grace abounds differently,take for example David,who else in the bible did all d amorous things he did and got away with it?but David committed terrible sins and d grace and mercy of God over his is life which was extraordinary exonerated him

  15. God will forgive but there will be consequences for every action, whether good or bad. Even though David was a man after God's heart and very repentant after every sin, he paid the price for them. Heavily.

    The law of Karma applies to everyone, no one is excluded. Yes, God will show mercy but remember that the gentle lamb is still the roaring lion.

  16. If you are a bornagain Christian, God is not waiting for you to sin so He can punish u, neither is He interested in ur sins. Infact d moment we ask for forgiveness he forgives us. What he actually wants each believer to accomplish is to come to a point where we come into the fullness of Christ. Where we know all we have in Christ and walk in it. As for people that sin and still have their gifts it happens, that's y Apostle Paul was so angry with the corinthians church fr living dere lifes as babes but in as much as we still av our gifts dere would be an extent wc we would go dat dere would not be much communication with the Holyspirit and using the gifts becomes difficult. Hibek.

  17. Hello Thelma, I mistakenly stumbled on your blog and I'm just amazed. I love the way you write about your personal life/views/opinions/thoughts, etc because I can identify with some of them.
    Thumbs up!!! Continue the good work.

    P.S. I'm from Cameroon and I love the fact that you always write in plain English rather than using Nigerian slangs.

    1. You're very welcome Anon. I hope you'll stay a member of this family. And.... I think I occasionally use slangs or write a few words in vernacular but not excessively. But I'll bear it in mind to keep it at the barest minimum.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa