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Just.... Why? (Dear Men,)

I need to understand why men do this. Your friend's girlfriend is welcome into the fold, she cooks for you guys, she hangs out with you guys and follows you all for parties and other social gatherings, and during this time you guys call her "Our wife", "The Mrs", "Iyawo wa", when you guys know fully well that she's just a side chick and your friend is seriously involved with someone else and his family has already even met with hers' to 'make arrangements'?

Why do men do this?
If, since you 'don't know her from Adam' and it's "none of your business", and you have to be loyal to your boy, and you're not a snitch therefore you cannot tell her that she's just a side piece, then why can't you, you know, maybe just shut up? Why further convince her that she's "The Mrs" when you know fully well that in a few weeks she'll be kicked to the curb, be discarded like a used tampon?

I find this particularly painful because presently someone dear to me has just experienced this, I've also been there too and you have no idea how stupid and humiliated we feel when we find out that all along we were just being played and you idiots all knew ALL ALONG, yet you continued to convince us that we were his 'The One', the best thing to have ever happened to him. 

     When we cooked for y'all you ate and licked every last morsel off the plate and sang our praises and told us that your friend was a very lucky man to have found us. When we had issues and we came to you to try to help out, you doled out advice and told us not to worry, everything will be fine, you assured us that he loved us with all his heart, it's just that sometimes he can be a little spoilt, but we shouldn't worry about that, we were his, all the while knowing that we were just pieces of ass to him, and there was probably even four or five more of us. Just WHY?

I really need answers. Why do men do this?


  1. Nne if u discover the answer, biko let me know. Gets so bad in some cases, family members r in on it.

  2. Nah this one dem dey call $1 billion question.
    Waiting to know the answer also.

  3. i think it's loyalty.. same with family too..My bro may bring ten girls to the house and we will all make them feel at home, why ? because we love him and we are loyal to him too..
    These guys don't owe us anything really..they are bobo's friends not ours.. same with the girls too, if my bestie had a guy that was splurging on her and thinks he's the main boo or has a chance at being the main man. he will call me to try to convince my bestie and I will assure him that he has a chance when I know he doesn't. why I'm I doing that ? because I am loyal to her and she's my friend not the mister.

  4. I don't give them face o. I just greet normally and smile. Then I face my business. I don't know where we might meet in the future.
    Thelma go to church and pray for me.

  5. And am reading Memebaby's comment and am almost shouting HELL NO despite being in public transport.And then I remember,its her opinion,immediately I calm down.

    This hasn't happened to me or anyone I know and it had better not cuz then I would sure everyone involved regrets their actions.

  6. There's no easy answer to this. Even if some or all shut up as you suggest, would you not rather complain to your boo about their possible dislike for you than become suspicious of his devotion to you? Or if one of them leaks his secret to you, would you suspect your boo or insinuate that his friend might be using the "stories" to get you under the sheets?

    A couple of years ago my sis was going out with a cultist. I wasn't happy about it one bit and I tried to dissuade her but she was obviously drunk in love. Reluctantly I let her be until she discovered things for herself. So, just like memebaby said, it boils down to loyalty. They'll rather protect their friend's integrity(if any) than expose him.

    1. You guys are lucky your sister's case didn't end up in disaster.

    2. thank u memphis.

  7. Makes me recall all the covering-up I had to do for my brothers/make cousins when I was a teen. These days, I see young girls around my married eldest brother but I just mind my business. I don't relate with them; I don't allow talks.

    Why I did it then? Loyalty and naivety. I didn't realize the damages I was causing those innocent ladies until I had a taste.


    1. you did not cause them any damages because it was not your fight or your place . You cannot put your mouth where it doesn't belong..even if it itches so bad to speak up or do something.. you didn't owe those girls anything..well except if one was a dear friend.. it's sad but thats the plain truth..and thank God favorite said it's my opinion.

      When it comes to one's significant other, the friends do not owe you 100% loyalty..that is the plain sad truth. if le boo is cheating, they may warn him to stop because you do not deserve it (or warn him or her to make sure you don't find out) but that's all they can's only human for us to hate the guys thelma described but do you really blame them ? are they your friends first or your boyfriend's ?

    2. "are they your friends first or your boyfriend's ?" - spot on...a billion likes.. - O.A

  8. Well i think that is pure deceit and is very wrong, i ll be nice and accomodating to you, but will not deceive u into believing u r 'the one' if i know u are not. I have never been in that situation as well.

  9. Thelma must be vexing to have generalized this, I believe that not all men do this.

  10. Battle of the sexes. That's all

  11. With the kindda life I live & the fact that I'm the eldest of my siblings & my friends (just 3) hold me in high esteem, I DONT think i'll ever be a part of such rubbish.
    I literally punished my brother when I HEARD he cheated on his babe!
    My friends won't even introduce me to any side Nigga cos i'll curse her then tell him.
    I do unto others as I want them to do unto me.
    No misplaced loyalty pls! Life is too short & mysterious for games!!!!

  12. Let's just say birds of the same feather flocks together. Somtimes, cheating is just inherent likes its in the gene.
    Its their idea of fun


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