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Last Night's Dinner...





Over too strong glasses of Long Island and sea food in barter he said to me; "This could have been us". He looked at me, lovingly, tenderly, gently, like I was the frailest petal of the most exotic flower... This could have been us. 

I choked a nervous laugh and looked away, never been one to make eye contact easily, my shyness a constant bane. I forced my gaze back to him. 

"This could have been us?" I asked suggestively, sentence laden and dripping with intent. I forced my shifty eyes to hold his gaze, desperately needed to get my message across. He held it steady. 

"Yes, it could have been. If only you hadn't been so damn stubborn when I was asking you out, fifteen months, that's how long you kept me waiting. I fucking loved you Nwando! Why couldn't you just give us a chance. I would have been good to you. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, why wouldn't you just let me love you?" He asked me, baffled. 

"Why bring all of this up? Does it make any difference now?" I asked, defiantly. Yet I willed him to say yes. Please say yes. Please tell me it would make a difference. Say yes. Please... 

"No. No it doesn't make a difference. I love *Mofe. I just want to know, that's all. I never quite figured it out"

I try, try, try to think of a million and one things to say, to change the topic, so he wouldn't see the hurt I felt, the pain and regret. I tried. Think Nwando. Think woman! Think ok? Isn't that what you say you do? Damn you, traitor! Think. 

No I couldn't think. My face was drawn and my eyes were sad. I trained my eyes on the glass and played with the ice desperately trying to hold the tears in. 

"Gorgeous, you ok?" 

Stop calling me gorgeous, ok? That might help. 

"Yeah, sure... Just wondering what to blog about when I get home" I lied. 

"You sure you're ok?" 

I nodded. 

"Mofe is moving back to the country early next year. Think I might pop the question."

I'm no good at faking it but somehow I did. I listened to him go on and on about Mofe. She's sweet. She's sensitive. She's kind. She's a go getter. She's amazing. I'm not so sure, it's scary but we're not getting any younger and she's an amazing person...

"Then you're doing the right thing *David, no one is ever really sure, everything's a risk... But she sounds like a risk worth taking. Don't worry Hun, it'll all be fine". I grinned widely, trying to reassure him. 

You let out a sigh of relief and smiled back. 

Damn! I deserve an Oscar! Here I was encouraging you to marry someone else when I was at the verge of tears because for the first time I felt I might have truly finally lost you. There I was cajoling you to pop the question to her when I was about to break down, go on my knees and grovel and tell you that I love you too, words I never said before, words several months too late. But words pure and honest nonetheless. 



*******
Sandra says a guy that really loves you cannot just love someone else. She says it's either he never really loved me or he doesn't really love her. 

I beg to differ, I actually think there's enough room in our hearts to love more than one person, if the need arises... (Ok, I'm not sure I articulated that properly). 

Can you simultaneously love two people romantically?

Comments

  1. Yes, you can. But you love each one for their uniquely different personalities. Eventhough you're never quite sure wat those unique things arethat makes you prefer one over the other in the overall scheme of things.

    ReplyDelete
  2. For the second time,I'm shedding a tear over a post...
    So u mean no "chubby kids" in the end? *sobs again*.
    To answer ur Q,if uve loved ones,u can always love again...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol @ no chubby kids... I'm all for whatever God wills. If He wills chubby kids then chubby kids I pray for. If He wills otherwise then the last thing I would want is to stray from His plans concerning my life.

      Delete
    2. Preach it sister Thelma!

      Delete
  3. T, for the 1st time I think I have the need to spank U real bad then draw u close & hug & kiss U.... I know how u feel. I do. Oh, I freaking do & just like u, I'm feigning my smile reading this. It's all well & good. I hope he's happy with mofe. U, my darling T, WILL find BETTER!

    To ur question, YES! YES!! YES!!! I loved once, 50%, twice 60% due to the differences in the guys. But right now, I think i'm about to drown in the ocean of Love 100%. God berra remove my heart from my body oh!. #SwoonsAway

    ReplyDelete
  4. Personally I don't think I can, I can love one more and be fond of the other person but Tee wow. May God deliver us from putting our husbands in friend zone and thereby loosing them

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yea u CAN but it wouldn't be equal definitely,I once loved ONE 100percent and I liked the other VERY much. Funny situation,God HELP us. I agree with the God would not allow us put our husbands in the friend zone part@ezeuche

    ReplyDelete
  6. You can be in lust with more than one person, love more than one person but to actually be inlove with two people @ same time? I seriously doubt it, except its not love maybe serious fondness or likeness.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Please I want to know if I can mix my body cream with Shea butter(ori),or perhaps can I rub it as body cream alone and wouldn't it darken me cos m on d fair side.just wondering

    ReplyDelete
  8. @opara u can do any one,it doesnt darken.dnt fnk so.my frnd rubs it,bt skin differs tho

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes u can mix Shea butter with ur cream n also use it as a body cream.I have been using it for years now n my color remains d same. Tried it on my kids n they got darker due to their sensitive skin. U can give it a try.Tee

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thelma, I think you should tell him how you feel, I mean be totally honest with him.... I feel he said all that to get a reaction from you and he is still hanging there somewhere waiting for you to let it out. You might as well risk it.
    You are allowed to be selfish sometimes you know

    ReplyDelete
  11. yea nwando, he reads this blog. he has seen it. your mission is accomplished. Homewrecker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na wa o. U either need a sugar mummy/daddy or perhaps that spell caster to help u cos ur case is getting serious.

      Delete
    2. Anon 10.34 please take a seat, or better yet sit on the floor. I'm not a passive person, i take what I want and not write something hoping he would read and react accordingly. LOL @ Homewrecker. *RME*. Calling me Nwando like you know me. JOKER.

      Delete
    3. Homewrecker? Is this anon serious at all? Lolzzzz! (I Seriously laffed out load here)... I'm not sure he even read the article. He probably saw some comment and went straight to making a hilariously preposterous Punchline. Anyways, Who/What is Thelmathinks without den Haters trolling? Hehehe

      Delete
    4. Anon why so salty. Are you Mofe? If you're not then please sit on the floor. Lololololol for days. T you won't kill me. Plz you don't know her so stick with Thelma, let those us of who actually know this beautiful soul call her Nwando.

      Delete
    5. Anon Please tie ur legs together n pretend to be a mermaid *tongue out*. Thelma worry not, what will be will definitely be.

      Delete
    6. Yayyyyyyyyyy!!! Anon 10:34 U have been duly noticed. Does it make ur bile infested life any better? Now run along before Ruthylicious breaks ur home & head.
      Trolls that'll stink for days!

      Delete
  12. If u love her as deeply as u said,just know that feeling can neither die nor be transfered to another

    ReplyDelete
  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @ifunanya,lolz...just read that "tie ur leg and pretend to be a mermaid' talk on LIB. Hahaha..was that u too?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol....not me oo, some guy that always drops that line in different blogs, cracks me up everytime i see it.

      Delete
  15. Dear Thelma...
    I think you should tell him how you feel... not because u want him to leave Mofe or anything, but just to get it off your chest... who knows, maybe the feeling would bounce right off after you do... PLUS, there wouldn't be any "what ifs" to think about in future, assuming he marries her.

    ReplyDelete

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