Is that all there is to life for a woman?
I've had this conversation time and time again with myself and other willing partcipants. It's something that's been demanded of me once before and one that I cannot fail to notice happens all around me.
A few months back I got a call from a very old friend, we hadn't spoken or seen in years and he just found my number. When I told him I'm still in Lagos, working and single he seemed happy, a bit too happy. Here's why; he's actually married, works with Shell and has a kid, his wife works with another of the Multinational oil companies. He told me there used to be this lady in his estate, back then she was the chic all the guys in the estate used to 'run mad' over, and then she wasn't only hot, she was also very brilliant, used to earn really well and drove an eye-catching red Camry. Fast forward a few years later he ran into her at the Port Harcourt airport and if she had not called out to him he wouldn't have recognized her. To cut short the story she's just no longer the girl he used to know. He asked what she had been up to and she said after she got married she had to pack up, quit her job and move down to Bayelsa where hubby lives, and then the babies started coming one after the other. And that's her life now right now.
He said he was greatly disappointed, she was one of the few girls in the estate that had a bright future, one of those that people saw doing big things, and now this? He said in his career he had seen so many brilliant women; colleagues and classmates, even more brilliant and promising that some of their male counterparts, but in no time marriage and the baby carriage beckoned and that was it, that all was.
Seeing this question sent in by a reader on Laila's blog reminded me of this conversation and I need to ask you guys.
"should a woman sacrifice her dreams for her marriage to succeed? Many women have abandoned their personal dreams, ambition, some wives are basically being accessories to their husbands. Do you think this is okay?"
A few women are able to balance it out and have a bit of both worlds, but only a few. I understand that some willingly give up other dreams they might have had and are women are stay-at-home mums by choice, l also know that so many working mums would like to be stay-at-home mums so they can raise their kids and look after their homes themselves, unfortunately that's not feasible for financial reasons.
Yet what about those who actually have other dreams, ambitions and other purpose. What about those ones who have to give up everything and sacrifice their dreams on the alter of 'love, marriage and the baby carriage'? Is this ok? What are your thoughts generally? Do you think it's actually worth it and there's more fulfillment in doing this? Do you believe this is actually the way it's supposed to be?