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The Agony Of The Fat Nigerian Girl.





"The Fat girl ends up miserable year after year. The society has neglected the fuller woman. This has resulted to fat girls feeling depressed, left-out and downcast. The average big lady spends most of their years in solitude, angry at themselves, the society and even their shadow. Many are being laugh at, ridiculed, jilted, abused and sent back indoors where they are depressed and even get fatter. The society is such a big nightmare for this group of people which is saddening." 

When they go for shopping which is a very beautiful and fun experience for almost every lady. But for the fat girl, it’s a rather sober experience. In many cases, sizes are deceptive to the extent that a size 12 dress will be tagged size 18. She has to through every cloth in the store before she finds what fits her. Sometimes, she ends up not seeing any flattering outfit. Again, the sadness begins.

Then she turns to her tailor to make a good dress for her. A beautifully styled dress she saw in a magazine page. The tailor makes it, it’s still not flattering. Sarcastically, the tailor says, “I find it difficult sewing for fat girls, it is too hard”. Again, the sadness begins.

Her soon-to-be-married best friend calls, “Wendy, will you be one of my bridesmaids”? “Don’t answer of course you will”. She is excited.“Will call you up later so we go choose the dresses with the other girls”. Her heart drops. Shopping bridesmaids with the other girls, she knows will be a huge nightmare because she is the “fat girl”. While shopping, The saleslady says, "We don't have your size, so here's the biggest we do have," and she gives it a try. Of course, it never fits. Her underarm fat is spilling over, her back fat is folding over the waist, and she can't get the thing to slip over her butt. But it looks beautiful on everyone else! And she is left feeling guilty for being more than a handful. Again, the sadness begins.

At NYSC orientation camp. The fat girl is handed her dress bag. She opens it. The kaki trouser is as small as a size 6’s whereas she is a size 18. “Ma’am, dis kaki is too small for me, can I get a larger size”, she says to the platoon mistress. The lady murmurs, “Exchange with someone else”. (lol, we’ve all experienced this). And she looks around, no one has her size. Most of other corpers, she may ask will reply saying, “NOO!!! I no carry orobo size”. Everyone laughs at her. Again, the sadness begins.

Every fat lady go through post-traumatic dress disorder. It is the condition that occurs when a person, usually female, feels disappointed and traumatized while leaving a clothing store. It could happen when she views old photographs and asks herself "What the hell was I wearing" It could also be the traumatic stress she feels between the moment she post a picture on the Internet and the moment somebody likes it or responds. Fat people go through this stress all the time and the society is not being fair at all. 80% of Heart-related illnesses which fat people suffer are because they spend most of their years depressed, not just about their size but because of social prejudicial.


....
Written by Jennifer Ogo Okolo. 
Source: Linda Ikeji's blog. 


While I appreciate the writer's good and noble intentions, this article only makes plus size people look like joyless, hopeless victims. I'm all for encouraging society to be kinder and more tolerant, but articles like these only only serve to foster a 'Pity Me' mentality. 

Yes, we face certain challenges, some of which Jennifer has mentioned in this article but nahhh, most of us don't go through life with dark clouds hanging over our heads, and when we do it's rarely as a result of weight issues. 
     Some of us are even happier and more confident than our slimmer counterparts. Memphis did you hear that? Because you've said too many times "fat people have no self-confidence" or "fat people have low self-esteem" and I always want to reply you but I just never have the time or energy. 

The sentiments herein are 'nice' so how come I couldn't stop shaking my head when reading this? I'm fat or plus size or big or whatever and I know even fatter, wayyyyyy fatter people than myself who have healthy social lives, happy relationships and are not in the least bit miserable, as this article portrays us to be. MISERABLE. Yeah most of us would like to be slimmer, some of us work towards it but that doesn't stop us from living life to its fullest. 

My dear "fat" people, if you have this "Again, the sadness begins" attitude PLEASE SNAP OUT OF IT NOW! You cannot beg or ask the world to be nice to you, the world doesn't owe it to you either. BUT YOU owe it to YOURSELF to be happy, fulfilled and optimistic. If you are not happy with your size then please adopt a healthier lifestyle, do not accept to be the Guest of Honour at anyone's Pity Party. 
...................................

The ONE question I have is this; how come the emphasis is on fat women, why doesn't society judge or treat fat men the way it does women? Why is society less tolerant of women? Why is little or no pressure put on overweight men but overweight women are constantly the the receiving end of society's unfeeling intolerance? Why would a woman carry a baby for nine months and receives constant scrutiny, ridicule and judgement for having a pouch or muffin top, yet some men look 9 months pregnant with nothing but beer in their bellies and don't get even a tap on the wrist from "society"? Ok that's more than one question but really they're all just one question. LOL. 

Comments

  1. am a uk size 16...and loving it.....anybody who ain't comfortable with it should hug a transformer.....I used to knw this babe that was a size 22...and was a student in fuunab...chai,we used to rock wears that fit her body type very well..she went to the gym occasionally and when people talk about her..she does not even mind...in short,all you have to do is just believe in yourself....that naughty house wife

    ReplyDelete
  2. Society hates women.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The 9months pregnant with nothing but bear got me laffing but seriously T,I av always thought of dis n I came to d conclusion dat men av been made to av upper hands over women FROM d time of our fore fathers. Imagine dat a man with one eye will have ladies dying to av him but a woman with dat same one eye will av to fast n pray before a man wud even say hi to her n wen dey eventually do,some do for d nonsense motive dey have in mind. Though I am plus size,I weigh 78 precisely but I dnt feel bad one BIT,though am working towards reducing it but am not giving my self a heart attack over it,most tins I wear fits me n I av a shape most ladies wud kill for and a nicely trimmed Tommy though not totally flat but not bulging out either. And to any fat lady out dere,dnt let wat pple say affect ur confidence in public,make urself happy n like T Said,eat healthy WHICH I am doing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I forgot to add dat my hips wud make dem boys head turn. Haters go jump d third mainland bridge.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thelma pls what kinda comment wud a person puublish to warrant the removal of one's comment, I'd appreciate an example biko.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you're asking because of those comments that have been removed by an administrator, they're those spam comments, or those ones advertising sugar daddies/mummies etc. Otherwise I generally don't delete comments, but I make exceptions for extremely inflammatory comments.

      Delete
    2. Oh, and if you're asking because of the one just before yours, the commenter deleted it herself. If you comment with a blogger account you can delete your own comment. So if you see a blogger name and it's been deleted by an author, then it's the commenter who deleted it him/herself.

      Delete
  7. LOL... T biko I'm tired. size has got nothing to do with gender nor self esteem. People should STOP letting other people's opinion matter to them! Barricade ur confidence.!!!
    I stopped caring about negative comments a long time ago. When I let it get to me a few times, I slap my esteem to make sure it increases.
    Happiness is about a Person. Not what he has or looks like. All the people committing suicide up n down, are they fat or poor?

    ReplyDelete
  8. @anon I removed my comments cos it appeared thrice n besides I know who u are so dnt bring dis to d blog.

    ReplyDelete
  9. d hate 4 women tire me,am a size 12,which is mostly cuz of my plenty plenty curves,so I wud just say am endowed bt stl I cant eat food nd keep plate,eyes errwhere.dey neva even wait make person fat sef.u wud see a pot bellied guy telln u dat he doesnt want a fat wife wit big tommy,hu dash monkey banana.let me stop here b4 I provoke jor

    ReplyDelete
  10. Am I the only one who feel an invinsible "gbam" on the head/chest after reading someones "gbam" comment?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thought I was the only one!

      Delete
  11. I am a size 12 up and a 14 down, i went on a single date with a guy and i never saw him again, imagine this guy said i cld not ve more than one piece of meat from my food cos he doesnt want a fat girlfriend, i just cut the guy off as soon as he dropped me off, till date he still wonders what went wrong. What matters most is how u see urself, society ll never be fair to anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ifunanya, you described my size exactly. And I make no apologies for it. If you're not okay with me, then you have a problem not me.

      Delete
    2. lol kindred spirit *bbmbiggrin*

      Delete
  12. A man with big belly is considered well to do, very well to do enough to eat and eat extras; men don't generally dislike big fat women, I think fellow women and the media creates more problems for their mates.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @sasha bone,wats d gbam comments ohhhh. funny people on d blog.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The essential characteristics of a man are quite different from those of women (as set by the universe, of course). Men are supposed to be financial stable, strong, possess leadership qualities etc while women are expected to be beautiful among other essentials. Be that as it may, none of the two genders should pack unneccesary/excess fat. If not for the sake of looking good, let it be for the sake of good health.

    However, I am more concerned about being in good shape and healthy than the actusl size. Some people are slim still, unhealthy and/or shapeless.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. true... but I guy should also be attractive (not saying that fat guys aren't, I'm just saying comfort and financial stability are not the only factors that may make a man desirable)

      Delete
    2. Financial stability does make a man attractive! Men and women are not comparable (are assessed on different standards) when it comes to beauty and attraction, six packs in men is more important when you are single than when you are married. How rich was Sade Okoya when her husband married her? The currency of attraction for women is beauty!

      If you find a 15 year old married man with six packs, it means his wife's bread is buttered on all the six sides!

      Delete
  15. proudly full figured and happy too (I think..lol)...Size 12-14 up, 16-18 down with an ass for dayzz. Thelma we should go running on the Ikoyi/lekki bridge sumtym....

    ReplyDelete
  16. FNLP your comment appeared in my inbox but it's not on the blog. It seems you've relocated? Nice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SMH. And the comment just appeared. Lol.

      Delete
  17. hmmm i used to be as tiny as anytin u can imagine, everybody used to make jest of me and call me all kinds of name. It was always a problem finding my size in clothes, i always had to do some ammendments. When i was about to get married, finding a gown dat wont "swallow" me was war. Then fast forward to two years later, after giving birth to my boi, everybody is now shouting "nne abeg o, take it easy o or u will burst. D truth of d matter is, no matter how u are or what u are, people must complain.

    ReplyDelete

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