Skip to main content

The Problem With Me...

It's been a pretty packed weekend so far. Took some family members to the airport early yesterday evening and was there till almost midnight. Today's been equally packed. Had several errands to run in the morning, got home and had to hurriedly get ready for a one-year birthday party I'd promised to attend. So... Uju Beibe is in town, and today's her boo's nephew's first birthday. She came without le boo and I went to join her at the party to give her moral support. He's got a very large family, more than five brothers, all married, so all wives were present and in my mind I imagined them sizing her up and thinking; Oh so you want to be one of us? LOL. His family is actually pretty friendly and accommodating so I think my friend's in a good place. I got tired a while later and wanted to get home and get some rest. 

As I was walking away I heard Uju shout my name and turned to see she wasn't behind me. Apparently she was calling me to greet her boo's elder sister, the mother of the celebrant. I walked over to where they stood, with the family and other guests. She's likely to be in her late 30s or early 40s, tall and dark skinned with the cutest braces ever, I instantly loved her that literally a few seconds after being introduced to her I just blurted out "I really really want to hug you, I just love you." and she immediately engulfed me and wrapped me in a big tight hug and we held on for a few seconds and I didn't want to let go and when I finally did I got really emotional... I think I've got issues. LOL. 

So anyways I left and since Ebeano supermarket was around the corner I thought to do some grocery shopping and that's when I saw her. *Mercy is supposed to be one of my really close friends but this year we've seen just once, despite the fact that we don't live too far apart from each other. I last saw her on my birthday in March. She came late, towards the end and left not long after. I was pretty upset because my understanding is that good (close) friends come before the party to see if you need help with anything and stay for a while after to help clean up, (especially seeing as we're all single, it was a weekend and she didn't exactly have something stopping her from doing so). I wasn't happy with her for that but I was asked to let it go so I did. I've not seen Mercy since then and she rarely ever calls. 

I've called a couple of times to know how she is, where she is and when we can meet up but it's always one story or the other. So when she called a few weeks back to ask me to accompany her to the mainland to go and try out wedding dresses I was almost ticked off. I'd had engagements planned but she's an old friend and it's her wedding so I dropped everything I was doing and told her I'd go. I got dressed and waited for about two hours then I called and asked why she wasn't here yet and she told me she had changed her mind and was planning to call me to let me know. Ticked off yet again, I told her it was ok and hung up. 

So when I saw her today just outside Ebeano I was actually delighted and was going to greet her, till she saw me and screamed "Nwaaaaaandoooooooooo" in that high pitched voice of hers, the way she screamed connoted excitement and glee. All in a millisecond I went from happy to irritated; I mean, you cannot ACT all excited to see me when I barely live a stone throw away and I've not seen you since mid-March. Her excitement was therefore dishonest and a sham, so I instantly looked her in the face, hissed (yes I actually hissed. That's so JS3, right?) and walked away just as she was rushing to hug me. I turned for a second to say hi to her husband and kept on walking away. 

A few minutes after I did this I felt guilty, I'd embarassed her in front of her hubby and other shoppers, and although I did it because I was actually hurting, it was still wrong. I called Osayi (our mutual friend to tell her what had just happened and even though she understood how I felt, she was honest enough to tell me that I should have still greeted her at least, and even if I didn't feel like it I should have faked it. And that's the problem with me. I just cannot fake it. I cannot fake a smile, I cannot fake my emotions, I cannot fake success or lack thereof, I cannot fake happiness, I cannot fake love or likeness, I cannot fake feelings, I cannot fake my intonation or an accent (or phoneh). I just don't know how to fake anything! Besides an orgasm, which EVERY woman knows how to fake and a few other thing, I guess...

I would have gladly hugged and kissed Mercy if she hadn't acted all happy and excited to see me. Dude, you cannot be that excited to see me if my house is just over there, you're in my neighbourhood (which you actually have to drive past most times) and you don't (ever) stop to say hi. And when I call you're either busy with work or le boo or some vague thing. So to stand in front of me, jump and excitedly shriek out my name... That's a whole lotta falsehood! I won't mind if you're some random person, a mere colleague or just a friend, but I tend of have some expectations of certain friends. (My bad, maybe). 

I mentioned during the 8 random things that I just don't know how to hide emotions. The same way I just met a woman and for no obvious reason instantly fell in love with her and publicly unashamedly expressed it, is the same way I saw my long time friend, felt hurt and openly shunned her excited salutations, thereby embarassing her. 

And that's the problem with me; I don't know how to FAKE it. 

PS; I was going to call her and tell her I'm sorry, I know it cannot change what happened but I thought at least explaining the way I felt, which led to my reaction might make her hate me less just but before I picked up the phone she called me. "What was that Nwando?... What was that bullshit that just happened?... Never try that rubbish again in your life. You know me, I don't hide my feelings. I will tell you how I feel. That was rubbish, never try it again. Ever. What the fuck was that about?! I even turned back to see if you were joking but you kept walking away. Nonsense. Do you have any idea how fuckin embarassing that was?... I just called to tell you never to try that rubbish with me again". Then she hung up. 

I probably deserved that, but now that I've been scolded like a little child, I think I'll keep my apology to myself. 

PPS; Date night! Going to touch up my make up, get dressed and hit the road. 

PPPS; Sorry if this was all over the place. My date's on his way and I wouldn't want to keep him waiting too long so I typed this in a hurry. 


  1. I think you need to carryout a 'friends auditing' exercise. That said, in as much as I believe we shouldn't fake anything, we still need to apply control.


  2. I understand why u did what u did but nevertheless I understand why she said what she said when she called. In her defence when a getting ready to get married u seem to forget many people around u, I'm sure her focus is just on her man right now. U do have a right to be angry though it's Cus u miss her. Don't throw ur friendship away sha.

  3. I honestly feel she acted so excited because she didn't have to come over to see you, you just appeared. It's sometimes like when you have been thinking of calling someone and then they call you.

  4. P.s you don't look like someone who should be writing diary of a fat girl..where's the fat? *confused face*

  5. T, u acted rashly, u wouldnt have walked away, u would have just asked wat she was excited about..
    Truth is U don't need that girl as a friend but if i were in her shoes,i'll be very hurt bt i would do 2 things

    1) i probably wont call or speak to u for a long while unless u call to apologise
    2) i will call u for an explanation esp if u are a good friend
    and not call u to warn you. she definitely isnt ur friend. Enjoy ur date night without guilt dear

    Anon 10:31pm- when a girl is getting married, she doesnt seem to forget people around her. NO! SHE CHOSE TO FORGET THEM ESP IF SHE PASSES UR HOUSE HOUSE ON THE WAY TO HERS.


    1. ***CHOSES****


    2. I did act rashly, and like F said I should have applied control. Maybe if I'd known I was going to run into her I'd have had enough time to 'fake' a more polite response. And yeah, it could be the whole wedding preparation. Generally, I attach too freaking much to friendship, something I've been trying to work on since my teen years. When you place someone on a pedestal you tend to feel slighted whenever they don't meet up to those (sometimes unrealistic) expectations you've set.

  6. yh t wt u did wasnt ryt bt u pulled a me ryt dere,cuz dats wt I wud av done nd wudnt look back or feel bad gan,I dnt lyk frnds lyk dat at all.well lyk I said I av bad mouf nd temper,b4 I evn walk away I wud giv her a piece of my mind also sef.

  7. Well T the sooner you realise the world doesnt revolve around you, the better. Your friends do have their own lives you know?

    1. Hell NO! The world doesn't revolve around me? I'm completely shattered.
      Anon, it's not about the world revolving around me ok? If I'm willing to, and have repeatedly put you before me then I'm allowed to expect just a bit of reciprocation.

    2. I think the problem is that you carry friendship on your head, for you it may be everything but for some people it's not that serious. The key is to give as much as you get, that way you won't feel like you've been slighted, and even when you are you won't care so much.

    3. Hmmmmmm, Anon 9:44 I actually love ur comment. *hope u are not the other anon T replied sha cos that comment was ill*

      T, give as much as U receive. That's what I Do. U have my time, I have Urs. U don't have my time, i'll make u doubt ur existence! Everyone around me knows this mehn!
      & Yes, since she's the 1st to blurt out BS, kindly save ur apology for a more deserving less faking emotion pal.

      Oh Uju, I wish u well. All I need is an invite & asoebi.

    4. Il go with the two anons. When u attach too much to friendships, it ends like this most times. It is human nature to take someone for granted, and get used to d person being there. Yes T, your friends have their own lives to live. Just take it easy with the friendship thingy. I used to be like you. But after d hurt ehn, I decided to put in as much as I was getting jare.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa