Skip to main content

The Sexualization Of Kids.



Sexualization and kids are two words that should not be in the same sentence but that's just the way I feel about this topic.


I tend to steer away from (publicly) discussing certain issues such as this because I'm neither a wife nor a mother but sometimes when I feel too strongly about something I refuse to stay neutral or quiet. Also I spent the most of last year and the greater part of this one being a mother so let me allow myself to believe that gives me a modicum of entitlement. 

There are certain things I just fail to understand. There are things I see parents do these days, they've become normal but I find them very appalling:





While I won't necessarily term this as sexualization, I fail to understand why a child who's still growing baby sprouts on her head should have artificial hair fixed to that hair. Why JUST? What's the purpose behind this please? Why should a little girl get a weave or have braids put in her hair? When did combing the little one's hair neatly and putting in some cute ribbons stop being enough? The main reason we adults affix these things to our hair is to enhance our beauty, your little daughter needs her beauty enhanced? She's not cute the way she is? What message are you passing across to her? When did it become normal to tell a little girl that she isn't enough the way she is, because that's the way it looks to me. Two weeks ago a blog reader asked me, what do you think about mothers who fix their little daughter's hair? I responded that it's plain wrong in my opinion. Her response; "Oh I thought I was alone in this. Until a girl reaches the age of 16 I see no reason why she should wear a weave". I also thought I was alone in thinking that it's plain absurd to add attachments to the hair of a child, especially when this child is below the age of 6. 
********************************************************




Some clothes are simply plain wrong and inappropriate for children. I fail to understand why a mother would dress her little daughter in clothes that leave her half naked and little to the imagination. Yet when you voice your disapproval you get told that it's you who has a problem; if you see an innocent little girl and find something sexual in her dressing no matter how skimpy it may be, then you must be sick or perverted or a paedophile. Wow! To me that sounds as stupid as saying I'm vegetarian therefore if I walk into a lion's den it wouldn't eat me. 
     First off, you CANNOT control the way the world sees or perceives you. But while you cannot control how the world sees you and yours, you can control the dressing and appearance of you and yours. 
*************************************************************




Now this is the one that seriously gets my goat. What's with the way little kids dance at parties these days? I always wants to smack some mothers that excitedly cheer on while their four year-olds twerk to nack your akpako and roll their chubby little waists and pop their tender booties. 
     Two weekends ago I told my friend when we were at a one-year birthday party that there were things I thought were simply inappropriate, like kids knowing all the words to songs with very sexual lyrics and dancing in that titillating manner. She didn't seem to think it was wrong, most people I complain to don't seem to think its wrong.
     So I said; hey, maybe it's just me. Maybe there's something wrong with me. But last night I was passively listening to a radio show when a guy called in and asked this same question; what's with parents who watch their little kids dance like prostitutes at parties, in front of everyone and actually cheer them on! The three or four presenters all seemed to agree and one even shared a story of how his 7 year old cousin was dancing at a party and everyone cheered, then the girl suddenly broke into some dip-it-low booty poppin' moves and her mother immediately sprang up from her seat and dragged her off the dance floor. For me this was an Aha! moment; So I'm not insane then, I'm not the only who thinks that's just outright wrong.

****************************************

6 year old Albert in his booty pop music video. 
Well his parents seemed to think its a good idea, he couldn't write the lyrics to the song but knew the words and what he wanted the video to look like so he told them what he wanted and they made it a reality. Yay! 
     But isn't it absurd that the same parents who said he couldn't write, rather than focusing on teaching him to write made a video for him called booty pop where half naked grown women were shaking their behinds in his face?
*******

I'm not a mother yet and I'm not in anyway dictating to other mothers on how to raise their kids. But these are observations I've had over time that really bother me which I would like to share and have discussed. 
What's your take on exposing young children to adult 'material'? 
Is it innocent (My friend says it is because the child doesn't know what he/she is doing) as it may have no negative impact on the child, or should children be allowed to grow up before encountering certain things and implementing them on their own terms?

Let's talk. 



Comments

  1. What I just cannot stand is the raunchy dance moves at parties. WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really sad, I thought I was the only one cringed when I witness things of this nature. I really fear for the leaders of tomorrow, makes you wonder what tomorrow is going to be like.
    When a male child grows up seeing women as tips and associated then it will be hard for him to respect women. When a girl thinks she has to be almost naked to be attractive then she'll probably end up with very low self esteem and be taken advantage of by sequel predators.
    We need to imbibe a sense of self-respect and respect for others in our kids.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Like seriously t,I thought I was d only one who had dis perspective,it's so sad dat dese parents dnt know how much harm dey expose children to. Dis is d reason yyy sexual abuse on little kids wud never stop because a man who cnt control his libido wud see such a child n want to grab her. dis is d same reason my frnd does not allow her four year OLD son attend his school's party weneva dey organize one n she has vowed never to allow him. Solution lies in d hands of d parents cos dey gat a lot of work to do

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Because a man can't control his libido'? Oh its man's fault now huh?... Ur friend doesn't allow her son attend School's party?she cud as well put him on lockdown asylum. Like seriously? As mush as I agree with all Thelma said, who deprives a 4 year Old child of kids parties? That's psychological torture.

      Delete
    2. Uyi, as a parent you have the right to decide which party your kid attends..that's why you are the adult

      Delete
  4. T, i'm on the same page with you just that i disagree with your "I'm not a mother yet and I'm not in anyway dictating to other mothers on how to raise their kids". People might say i'm judgemental but Call it for what it is...WRONG!!! there is no justification at all especially with the dressing... there's this little girl in my church whose mom keeps dressing her in very skimpy gowns and without tights or leggings.. making our little boys in church mope.. when i called her on it, she said she told her mom.. when confronted, mom was like pls its my daughter... meanwhile mom doesnt dress skimpy ooo. m still trying to figure out her plans oo... its plain wrong.. Ezekiel 9:4. Me i preach modesty in everything....May God help us all
    -Zi

    ReplyDelete
  5. I share the same point of view with you Thelma.Children of this generation simply amaze me with the level of exposure and liberty at their disposal.hmnnnn!
    children be watching porn and acting daddy and mummy afterwards.u hear them saying "
    Ife has a boyfriend in my class*didnt you kiss bode that day?* errr mummy, Lanre is not talking to Teni because Teni now has another boyfriend........... and they go on and on imagine that from children of 5,6,7,8-10 years old. and parents be giggling....... like seriously?
    I was at a bar the other day and a man walked in with his son and that boy can't be more than 8 years.they sat and his dad ordered alcoholic drinks while the boy was also trying to order same his dad asked that he be given chapman,the young boy just started sulking wanting a taste from his dads' glass of Hennessy. and I am like why not give him a cup too afterall you brought him there so is he expected to be drinking Bournvita and Ribena?mshewwww I felt like telling the guy some truth.
    what is so hard in treating them like kids when they are kids and adults when they are adults? some parents sha.smh. I sure will have alot to do training my kids when i start having them *cunt woit*

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was once at a party and I saw dem kids singing 'chop banana till you go yo' I looked to my neighbour like 'are you seeing this' but dude's face was like 'aww, aren't they cute' so I thought maybe I was just being uptight. So Tee, this article was my own 'aha' moment

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy birthday, Vivadrew! May your joy be full this new year.

    Thelma, I try in the ways I can. It's strictly Disney junior, Boomerang, MFamily and any other children channel. I try to adhere to age restrictions and parental guidance on movies. No soundcity, no channel o... etc

    In fact, I've stopped watching TV because I don't really have the time. Its either super sport when hubby is around or Disney junior for the children.

    And there is nothing like "they don't know". I can still remember things that happened when I was 3-4 years old.

    ReplyDelete
  8. A lot of things are turning upside down.
    I have been labelled all manners of names simply because I insist my daughters wear their natural hair (no relaxer) but do I care? There are more important things kids (both sexes) should focus on and being 'sexily dressed' is not part of it, neither is a dancing prowess.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  9. Please where is a good, clean restaurant where I can eat amala or pounded yam with ewedu or efo riro in Ikeja? The closer to the airport the better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will tell you if I can tag along. Otherwise lips sealed.

      Delete
    2. No worries, you can come along. please open lips

      Delete
    3. There is one on Isaac John, just opposite Jevinik. I hope that isn't too far from the airport & the info isn't coming late.

      P.S - There are two restaurants there; Calabar kitchen and another behind. Just walk through the bar to get to the restaurant at the back...you will love their amala.

      Delete
    4. There is a place called Iya Wale at FAAN. Very close to the airport.I hope you will enjoy it.NK

      Delete
    5. Oyinlola, the info is not late at all. Thank you!

      @Anonymous with Iya Wale's place. You try small with that name and description, good one there.

      Delete
  10. Damn. I feel sorry for the baby with the braids. Can you imagine how she will have been crying when they were doing that hair. And isn't it too heavy for her small head? Ratchetness at it's peak.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I say! i feel so sorry for her, if me as an adult cant sit down to get my hair braided, i carry it naturally, how much more a child?
      Parents of these days ehnn..they seriously need flogging, sometimes i wonder if that is how they were trained.
      L.

      Delete
  11. I'm with you on this.

    ReplyDelete
  12. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com6:25 pm, September 16, 2014

    I was at the salon the other day and a colleague who is a single mum brought her 7-8 year old son to have his hair-cut. I was surprised when they asked her what style to cut for the boy and she told them to ask him. Boy described mo-hawk or whatever it is called, said he wants his hair dyed and relaxed. All of which they did for him. At the end of the process, my colleague asked him if he liked it and he said yes, she simply paid and they left.
    It's the beginning of a new world.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow im just speechless here , warrafeckinghell...

    ReplyDelete
  14. This might not be exactly in line with the post. But I think instilling morals in your kids is quite different from making them ignorant. I go to my Aunt's house and the only thing her kids are allowed to watch is cartoon. Not even football. According to her football is a violent game. Am like "gal are u kidding me?" and her kids are 7-12yrs old.
    While you go about instilling morals in your kid, don't make them ignorant. When they ask you where babies come from, don't say babies are vomited. Or something lame like that. Choose your words carefully and explain to them in PG words the process of child bearing. A child curious enough to ask such questions, will find out whether you tell or not. Just learn to strike a balance.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This might not be exactly in line with the post. But I think instilling morals in your kids is quite different from making them ignorant. I go to my Aunt's house and the only thing her kids are allowed to watch is cartoon. Not even football. According to her football is a violent game. Am like "gal are u kidding me?" and her kids are 7-12yrs old.
    While you go about instilling morals in your kid, don't make them ignorant. When they ask you where babies come from, don't say babies are vomited. Or something lame like that. Choose your words carefully and explain to them in PG words the process of child bearing. A child curious enough to ask such questions, will find out whether you tell or not. Just learn to strike a balance.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LOL... I'm I seeing & reading all this?
    Thank U Dad & Mom for the awesome upbringing! A lil severe discipline but I appreciate it ALL... even my only had her natural hair till she was 7. Amazing curls & natural braids.

    Most Mom's today are "Ajebutter ITKs"! So I just watch & smh.

    To my future kids, We are gonna sleep, walk, eat, breathe, dance & talk the bible...
    Signed
    Your lovely mummy!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thelma, I am a mother of 5 children and I agree with you 110%
    I have learnt to take care of my OWN and not put mouth in such matters because, one can either be called local or razz or bush woman for not being 'modernized! or following the trend. I just tire for we women!
    Another truth is that the 'media' is oozing of sex! Parents now have so much to do!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I even disagree with using anything at all on a baby's hair be it ribbon or that hair band that people use for their baby daughters this days, the poor baby's hair would just be pulling and you don't care because in your mind your baby is not fine if she dosent have ribbons on her hair. Some baby's sef have hair only in the middle and people would keep trying to manipulate the little hair that's there, it's not cute atall. Atleast let ALL the hair grow evenly before you start making the hair. That's why I would always give kudos to how Beyonce takes care of blue's hair....Leave it be

    ReplyDelete
  19. T u will live long for this! Just finished watching a very disturbing video of a lil girl dancing in ways my adult self n a striper pole wld find worth multiple thoughts, n this while being cheered on by a pack of sickos n who I assume is her mother. Kept wondering why n how anyone wld be surprised if u hear one of em had sex with her n or worse, raped her. I am not a mom bt I make my opinion on this clear to my friends n cousins that r often; it is up to u to protect ur children's innocence for as long as you can, in all aspects of their lives; education, entertainment, interpersonal relationships. Learn how to give age-appropriate answers to their curious questions. At certain age, u should b what u are: a parent. Not a classmate, not a friend, but mom or dad aka the ones who instill a series of boundaries n rules n a sense of morality n self respect. Learn to communicate with ur kids with words n if necessary whoop their asses (our parents did n dats y we know the things we know). When a child is older, then there's room n a need to build a friendship; he/she is old enough to appreciate the relationship n the responsibility of both expected behavior n consequences.
    I remember my mom had a rule of no braids as kids n we all rocked low cuts throughout secondary school with braids she approved for holidays. She was always quick to tell us we cld do whatever we want to "as soon as u get outta secondary school". I played with colors as soon as I could bt I eventually got tired n today I not just rock my natural hair, I let it grow locks n has been so for a decade!
    My point; children have such a limited time to be children n we should do our part as the adults in their lives n try as hard as we can to help them b such for as long as they should n stop all these crap we allow them pick up in the name of modern trends
    Sorry abt the epistle. Jst happens to b a peeve of mine.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I see all these things u've mentioned above and I marvel. D part that ticks me off is d seductive dance moves @ kids parties and u see d mothers cheering. WTH. Me I have said no watching of soundcity and those other sad music channels in my house.

    ReplyDelete

  21. Are you a young man or women
    seeking or interested in sugar
    mummy,daddy,gay and lesbian.Are you
    good in bed ?Do you really need a
    rich sexy sugar mummy or sugar daddy
    that can change your life
    completely with money and influence,
    so get the opportunity to meet
    sugar mummies from all works of
    life,politician,bankers,oil
    ladies,executives,directors,gold
    ladies,cash money ladies,Global
    Network group friends,doctors,dubai
    ladies,london based ladies,ladies
    willing to pay as much as 100-350k
    per night,and get the best
    exclusive VIP arrangement anywhere
    ,we have some
    rich sugar mummies who are urgently
    in
    need of sugar boys and some rich
    daddies who are looking for young
    girls to spend their money on,
    all you have to do is Get
    back to us through our
    emaill address :frankwilfort@yahoo.com. or
    reach us via our mobile 08165697812



    Maximum security is guarantee from any of our clients because we have done all the necessary background checkup on all the ladies and men we have on our database,so contact us today for you to get a partner that can change your life completely with money and influence,
    These are contacts and numbers of sugar mummies and sugar daddies that has not yet be given out,so start calling to get connected immediately within your location:

    start calling and getting hooked up to business partners,marriage partners,pals and lovers everyday and get the best connections in Nigeria with invitation to government private parties and get paid for being there…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In every single post you advertise runs instead of advertizing jobs, it is time for elections now and you're looking for human head for rituals abi? God is watching you.
      L.

      Delete
  22. On Thelma, please don't get me started on this topic. Sometimes I almost wonder if I blinked and by the time I opened my eyes again, the world had changed.
    I always say I'm very grateful I was a kid in the era that I was - the 80s and 90s - but, these days. What is it to be a kid again? The lines have become so blurred. I wonder when people's values changed.
    Regarding your first point on the hair attachment, I personally ( and this is me o, I'm not saying it has to apply to everybody) got my first "attachment" when I was 23, and in my final year of University. My mum always said "You are OK the way you are, those things would make you look older", and I always grew up believing I was good enough just as I was. As a kid, I used to plait my hair like other little girls, but my mum would randomly inspect my hair every few months and decide I'm due for a haircut, and ne t thing I knew, I was sitting on a bench with my hair being snipped away. But I learnt to be confident through all of that. I learnt to answer my friends when they ask "what happened to your hair?", and I learnt to realise that my self worth isn't determined by my appearance.
    To this day still, I believe I still have traces of that. I occasionally go for a week or two of just combing my hair in a simple afro, go to work in a corporate environment, and not for a split second do I feel inadequate. When people ask me how I get my hair like that, I say that's how it grows out of my head.
    Sorry for the long epistle, but my point is for as long as kids get the idea that they need these extra material things to be beautiful, they would grow up into adults who are heavily reliant on them.
    As for the other points you raised, let me just say may God help us all.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …