I just read somewhere that today is World Peace Day and people were urged to spread love and be at peace with those around them. It's so easy to pray for and preach world peace and all that but let's make things personal; can you make peace with everyone around you, even the ones who have so terribly hurt you and betrayed your trust?
In my life I've hurt and I've been hurt. I've never had much difficulty forgiving "friends" for their wrongdoings. I've forgiven my then closest friend for calling our other friends and spilling some of my deepest (family) secrets to them in such a malicious and spiteful manner that I was momentarily temporarily paralyzed. It went something like this:
Closest friend: hello, babe, have you seen Nwando recently?
Mutual friend: (sensing something was about to happen) No why?
Closest friend: Are you serious? So she's not there with you guys abi?
Mutual friend: No, I just told you I've not seen her. You know how Nwando is naa, nobody knows where she is.
Closest friend: hmmmmm. Mehnnnn I have serious gist for you people ooo!! Is *Nkechi etc there?
Mutual friend: Yes she is. (removes mouth from phone and whispers to me) You better listen, your best friend is about to say some shit about you. (Puts phone on speaker).
Closest friend: Nwando did bla bla bla, her bla bla bla bla. Haaaa! Serious Ishhhh. Bla bla bla bla. Omo!!! Disastrous bla bla bla....
Everyone turned to me with shock and horror in their eyes. I wished I would just evaporate.
Well that wasn't the only time that she messed up and hurtful as it all was, I forgave. I've forgiven friends for ruining my relationships, I've forgiven people who betrayed me, I've forgiven people who maliciously lied against me, I've forgiven men that made promises and hurt me in the worst possible ways, I've forgiven someone for sexual assault, I've forgiven people I trusted who shove a rod in my back... Bottom line is that I can be very forgiving.
BUT there is one grudge I have been unable to let go of. Now it's weird because this person was no close friend or true love of mine, yet his own deed has been so difficult for me to forgive because his betrayal had a chain reaction; it led to some very unpleasant events and occurrences in my life. I'm sure when he was 'betraying' he didn't expect the eventual outcome, but hey, those things did happen and it makes it so damn hard for me to forgive and just let go, and believe me I've tried.
Are you like me who easily forgives but has a few grudges and pain you just cannot let go of even after the offender has begged for forgiveness? Or do you just find it difficult to forgive?
What is this thing that's impossible for you to let go of and why is it so difficult to just let go?
Have you hurt someone so badly that try as you may they've just refused to forgive you? Do you become indifferent knowing that you've done what you can to right your wrongs yet they've refused to forgive you? Or do you still carry the weight of the guilt knowing that they're still holding on to the pain you caused them?
Let's talk hurt, betrayal, pain and FORGIVENESS.